In This Life
by willowhaven116
Summary: "I am the straight, all-star, national honor roll daughter of the Vice CEO of a global company. But why can't I stop picturing her brown eyes?" AU. Paige is the new girl at school. She is forced to deal with things she thought she could ignore. Rating will be M for later chapters, but I'll change it when the time comes. FEEDBACK! PLEASE! I'm really nervous about this!
1. Chapter 1

_I hate being the new girl._

My brain kept repeating the same mantra over and over because yet again my father had to drag us off to some remote town – this time in freaking Pennsylvania - so he could climb the cooperate ladder even higher. It seemed like since I started high school I moved at least one a year. It was so hard to try to keep up between having friends, different curriculums and of course the thing I adored the most…swimming.

_I can't get a top spot on any swim team because I'm never at a one specific school long enough!_ I yelled silently to myself.

That didn't mean I wasn't good – I was damn good…I mean, my father always pushed me to be better…but that's good right? It is a father's job to push their kids. Though sometimes I'd wish he'd just back off but I'd never tell him that.

I looked at my phone – 7:20am. _Ugh._ I stepped out of my dark green Jeep Wrangler and walked begrudgingly towards the main office. This school was larger than my last – not by much, but still larger is larger. I looked around the inside of the building as I entered through the double metal and glass doors.

_Rosewood Sharks. Classic_.

Blue and white colors were streaked throughout the inside walls and a large mural of an angry looking shark was centered between the streaking colors.

_Well, just add in red and we'd be the freaking USA team_! I thought bitterly. I shook my head to try to shrug off my poor attitude and set out to find the door I needed.

I found the administrative office quite easily. The woman sitting at the desk was young – probably mid-twenties. She had long blonde hair that hung down her shoulders in a light wave. I could see only part of the Sharks Polo shirt that she was wearing as she was nearly hidden behind a large desk with a large, full blown PC.

"May I help you?" she asked kindly.

"Uh… yea. I'm Paige McCullers. I'm new," I replied handing her a piece of paper that my mother had given me earlier that day before I left for school.

"McCullers…." she mumbled to herself as she typed something into her computer. "Ah! Right here."

She slid her black, wheeled office chair quickly over to a printer, grabbed a couple of papers, got up off the chair and walked to the counter I was standing at. I shifted my book bag higher onto my shoulder so I could look at the piece of paper she was showing me without my bag falling off onto my arm.

"Here is your schedule. This is the class, the room number and the teacher." She picked up a small stack of papers resting on her desk below the counter. "I need you to have each instructor sign their respective paper and bring it back to me before school ends or first thing tomorrow morning before school begins…"

She trailed off. "And here," she handed me something that looked to be a spiral notebook, "is your agenda. It contains all the rules, policies and procedures. It is also your hall pass, your calendar for homework assignments and your overall guide to Rosewood High. There is a map on the last page if you get lost. Do you have any questions?"

I just shook my head lightly.

"Okay, well you better get to class. Best way to get to your first period is through the double doors you just came in from, go up the half-stairs on your left and it's the building on the right."

I walked out of the office and through the double doors as she had suggested. So far, I was not impressed. I have been in at least 6 different schools and this one appeared to be just the same as everyone that preceded it. I took a moment to clear my head and stare at my schedule. AP Biology, AP English, Calculus, US History, PE, and Psychology. I rolled my eyes at the paper.

_This is going to be an interesting senior year, _I thought._ Starting tomorrow I have swim practice in the morning – which means I'm up at 4:30. As much as I adore swimming…they couldn't make it like…a class or something? But, I have to get good grades in order to get into college…. Jesus. One more thing I have to think about. _

I shook my head trying to rid the overwhelming thoughts. I walked up the "half stairs" as the receptionist had called them and into the building where my first period was located. Biology was not exactly my best subject but supposedly my father thought I did well enough last year to sign me up for AP. I walked into the standard lab classroom and found an older man sitting behind a master lab desk at the front of the room. He was going bald but I could still see some of the remaining black hair on his lower head. He wore roundish glasses and at first glance reminded me of a balding, younger Santa Clause. He had a beard that hung down towards his chest just above a very round belly. His eyes seemed kind but I've learned with teachers that can't always be trusted.

"Hi," I said lightly to the man as I handed him the form that I needed signed.

"You must be Miss McCullers. I'm Mr. Zatezlo, but most around here just call me Mr. Z. As this is the second week of class, most of the seats are already taken by there is one seat open by…" he trailed off looking at his seating chart, "Miss Fields." He finished pointing towards the back of the classroom. I looked to where he was pointing and there were two empty seats. I had figured whoever 'Miss Fields' was, she was obviously not here yet.

"Here is your book, Miss McCullers…"

"Thanks," I interrupted him.

He glared at my interruption, but continued quickly. "We are currently working on Chapter 3. If you talk with Emily, she should be able to give you her notes to copy," he concluded waving me off to go sit down in my designated seat.

I picked up the Biology book that he had laid on the lab table, shuffled my bag onto my shoulder once again and turned to walk to the back of the room. When I looked up to see where it was I was actually going, I lost my breath for a minute as I saw the girl who was sitting at the lab table I was directed to sit at. She had dark hair pulled back in a low pony tail with a few wisps contouring to her face. Her skin was tan – almost as if she was Puerto Rican or Italian…but not. She was sitting at the desk with her head resting on one hand, appearing to be looking over notes from a spiral ring notebook.

I continued towards the table and set my book down on the tabletop while reaching into my bag to retrieve a notebook and a pen. I set my bag down under the table and took a seat as the girl looked up at me and smile.

"Hi."

"Hi" I said in response.

"I'm Emily."

"Paige."

She smiled sweetly at me.

"I…uh…" I cleared my throat. The way she was looking at me was very unnerving…it made me sort of tingly. "The teacher said I could copy your notes from last week's lessons?"

"Oh, sure," She replied handing me the notebook she was looking at before class started. "O, I guess you won't have time to copy them before class starts, huh?"

I looked up towards the front of the class to see Mr. Z prepare to begin lecturing the class.

"I guess not," I confirmed.

"Did you want to take them with you after class and you can just bring it with you tomorrow? I mean, it's not like I'm not going to see you in time for class," she laughed lightly.

"That would be great. Thanks." I mumbled lightly as flipped my notebook open and prepared myself to take notes for class.

The teacher began his lecture and as I was taking notes, I let my hair fall covering my face. I allowed it to become a shield as I looked over towards my new lab partner. She was breathtakingly beautiful. No one on Earth should be that gorgeous. I saw her tilt her head to look at me and I hurriedly pretended to be looking at the board. I prayed to everything holy she didn't notice…if she had, I knew that the coming year would be a very long one.

As class ended, I heard her voice again.

"What else do you have this year?"

I looked over at her unsure of exactly what she had said. "Huh?" I replied – my uncertainty showing.

She smiled at me widely. "I said, what else do you have this year? You know…classes?" She questioned again.

"O..umm… I have…" I trailed off as I reached for the schedule I had put in the front of the agenda the receptionist had given to me earlier. I handed her the paper and watched as her eyes intently scanned the text.

"Awesome!" She said eagerly.

I looked at her bewildered. "What is awesome?"

"We have like 2 more classes together – history and psychology. Why do you have PE your junior year?"

"Oh…umm… I swim, so I guess it is mandatory or something?"

She looked at me with a confusing look on her face that I couldn't quite make out. It was mixed by what I believe was excitement and shock but since I didn't know her well - hell at all – I couldn't be completely sure.

"What?" I asked.

"You swim?"

"Yea, since I was little. I've been on like three teams. My last school told me that I could have made swim captain if I had stayed, but I had to move," I replied as I looked down at my closed book.

"You must be really good. I am on the swim team here too. Practice starts tomorrow. I can't wait," she said excitedly.

Her giddiness was tangible. Her dark eyes sparkled when she talked about swimming. I wish I felt the same way… I mean, I adored swimming but it was lately becoming more of an 'I need this for a scholarship to college' than an 'I was born to be in the water' thing.

The bell rang signaling that first period was over. I gathered my belongings and placed them haphazardly into my backpack.

"Here," the brunette said handing me her notebook. "Just bring it back tomorrow."

"Okay, sure, no problem," I replied.

"I'll see you later then."

She stood up from her seat and made her way to the front of the room. My eyes kept shifting to look at her as she walked out the door.

_This can't be happening. And I have to see her in a swim suit starting tomorrow…How in the world am I going to pull this off?_

All I knew was that I had about 2.5 hours to figure out how I was going to deal with this. I couldn't be attracted to girls. My father would have had my head on a platter. I was the star swimmer. I was here to swim and to get a scholarship and get the grades. That is all.

_I am the straight, all-star, national honor roll daughter of the Vice CEO of a global company._

_ But why can't I stop picturing her brown eyes?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, per request - this is the next update...and i hope 24 hours is "Soon". LOL I have such great reviews on this! I'm so happy! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know what you think of this second chapter. And if you haven't already, check out my other story - BURN MY SKIN and let me know what you think of that one too!**

**HAVE FUN YA'LL!**

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_What the hell is that noise?_ I thought sleepily. It couldn't be the alarm; I had just lied down. I rolled over attempting to detangle myself from the comforter which was wrapped tightly around me. I kicked the covers down and opened one eye in an attempt to try to figure out what the hell was beeping. I couldn't tell if it was the fire alarm or what…. It could NOT be the damn clock.

It was the clock.

I saw the time - 4:16am. My first alarm had been set at 4:15am. I took a spare pillow and held it on top of my face. I did not want to get up. I knew I had 15 minutes to lie before I had to actually get moving. My thoughts immediately lingered on the previous day. Classes seemed typical enough – nothing I couldn't exactly handle. I saw Emily from lunch on. She had me sit with her and her three friends – Aria, Spencer and Hanna. I could tell immediately they were all completely different though I think Spencer and I both share the whole 'have to be best at everything' complex. At least we were into different sports, I mean, I didn't want to be mean to Emily's friend. I know I can get quite competitive. After lunch, Emily and I had walked to History, then to Calculus and finally to the Annex for PE. Since swimming didn't start yet, we simply just ran the track and talked about mainly where I was from and how she had grown up in Rosewood.

The alarm went off for the second time. I was so dazed and I think I had accidently fallen asleep reminiscing about the previous day's events. I rolled over and hit the 'off' button before begrudgingly swinging my legs over the edge of my bed and standing up to get ready for the day. I knew I'd be swimming to day so I didn't see the point of getting ready for class if I was going to have to shower and change after swim practice. I went into my bathroom and brushed my teeth and my hair before putting my auburn locks up in a ponytail. I decided to go ahead and put on my bathing suit – I had grabbed the uniform from the Student Athletics' Office before I left school- then my favorite pair of running clothes which consisted of black capris and an old Rolling Stones T-shirt that used to be my best friend's from my previous school. I grabbed both of my bags that I had packed the night before and ran down the stairs to the kitchen.

I blended my usual swim-practice morning protein shake - some protein powder, a banana, low fat peanut butter, some almond milk and sugar free chocolate. I always cheated by putting chocolate in it. My father detested that I always put a little chocolate in my shakes but I couldn't handle the taste otherwise. Regardless, I was always up and out the door before he even exited dreamland so what he didn't know wouldn't kill me. I drank the shake as I ran around the kitchen gathering snack items for school. I put my glass and the blender in the dishwasher, picked up my bags and headed out the door. I threw the bags into the back of my Wrangler and started driving towards the school.

I finally reached the locker room of the Annex – both backs strung across my shoulders. It seemed I was a couple minutes early. Practice didn't start until 5:30 and it was only 5:20, however a couple older women were sitting on the bleachers talking – I assumed them to be the coaches. I walked over and introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Paige. Paige McCullers."

"Good morning Paige." The darker lady said standing and extending her hand. She wore a dark blue track suit that matched the color of my swim suit and she had her hair pulled tightly into a bun high on her head. "You seem to be ahead of the other girls. Why don't you go ahead and get everything into your locker and then just get accustomed to the Annex while the other girls get situated?"

I assumed her question was somewhat rhetorical and so I just stood there patiently.

"Here you is your locker number and the combination for the lock," She continued handing me a small piece of paper. "The lockers are thru the doors on the left."

I took the paper gently and smiled as she finished her directions. I hoisted my bags back onto my shoulder comfortably and walked into the girl's locker room. I located my locker easily and fumbled with the combination lock a couple of times before it opened. I noticed that there was a bag located at the top of the locker – I assumed filled with school colored caps, goggles and other odds and ends.

"McCullers?"

I turned around to meet the slightly familiar voice.

"Here are you team clothes. It seems you already picked up your swimsuits. You don't have to wear the track uniform this week but starting next week we want the track suit worn at practice as well as meets. If you want more, just have your parents call Athletics and they can order you as many as you want," The lady from the bleachers said handing me a clear plastic bag containing – it appeared like – two sets of pants, two gym shirts and a jacket.

"Thanks," I replied as I set the bag into my locker.

I heard the sound of – what I was assuming was – the other girls behind me as I was still facing the inside of my locker holding the small already-there duffle bag on my knee and rummaging through it.

"Well aren't you the punctual one?"

As soon as I heard the first word I knew the voice and who it belonged to. I turned around to see her – dressed similarly like me and leaning against the locker next to mine.

"You know what they say…early bird gets the worm…or something," I replied with a smile. "So I guess we are locker buddies…you know, since our lockers are next to one another…" I trailed off. I couldn't believe how dorky that sounded.

She smiled as she placed her bags into the locker and took off her loose red shirt to reveal her swim suit underneath. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the sight of her skin. I shook my head quickly and pulled my own shirt over my head only to toss it into the locker. Once she finished putting everything in her locker she turned to me.

"Shall we?"

I nodded and we both left the locker room with the remaining few girls following us out.

Swim practice lasted about 90 minutes in the morning but we had to use the pool for a certain amount of hours during the week either in the evening or during the PE during the day. The rules for being on the swim team – as defined by the coaches – were fairly standard. Nothing I wasn't already accustomed to from being on prior school teams. We were in the water for a good hour after the first meeting notes and lectures. I had the opportunity to watch Emily gracefully cut through the water. She was the fastest on the team by far, well, aside from myself.

"Okay, McCullers, you're up." I heard the coach direct.

I positioned myself and dove into the water. I could feel my muscles stretch as I glided through the water with ease. I couldn't hear anything from the outside world. It was my own heaven. My own peace. I reached the 50 meter wall, flipped and began back towards the starting point. As I reached the end, I could feel the start of that glorious burn begin in my arms and legs. The burn, while painful to some, was a wonderful feeling to me and it spurred me on. I touched the wall and lifted my head from the water to see a bunch of my teammates – including Emily – and the coach staring at me in mock expression.

"What?" I asked curiously. "Was it that bad?" I continued nervously. I knew I hadn't been in the water as much as I should have, but it couldn't have been that bad, could it?

Emily extended her hand and helped me jump out of the pool. She hugged me tightly the moment my feet hit the ground.

"That was the best time of all of us, Paige."

I smirked. "Guess you have to try harder to beat me, eh Fields?" I playfully swatted her arm before I reached for my towel lying on the closet bleacher.

"Okay good job today girls. Same time tomorrow!" The coach announced as most of the girls headed to the locker room to start the school day. "Fields, McCullers…"

Emily and I turned around to meet the coach.

"Really good job today you two. I think you two would work well together. If you don't have your PE class together, I want one of you to rearrange your schedule. I want you two to start working together. I believe you will both benefit from each other."

"We have it together," Emily said enthusiastically.

"Good. Now get showered and get to class."

After we had both showered and changed, we grabbed our school bag and headed out of the annex. The coach singling us out was such an honor. It felt good to know that the coach recognized my potential. I also recognized Emily's and knew that it wouldn't take long before she had the ability to beat me. By the time we reached the courtyard the conversation topic had changed half a dozen times. It was so easy to talk to Emily. Suddenly, I heard a strange squeal escape the girl's lips.

"Maya!"

I looked in the direction she had sprinted off to only to have my stomach drop. I saw Emily kiss the shorter, darker girl with reverence. I could feel my face contort showing off 100 different emotions.

As I began walking towards the direction of Emily's and my first period, I heard Emily call to me to wait up. I turned around and saw the two girls holding hands.

"Paige! This is Maya. Maya, Paige. "

"Hi!" Maya exclaimed as she pulled me into a hug.

My body stiffened at the invasion of my personal space.

"Emily has told me all about you!"

_Funny, I haven't heard anything about you_.

I simply smiled and looked at Emily questioningly.

"Paige, Maya is my girlfriend. It doesn't freak you out does it? I just wanted to find the right time to tell you. So many people get freaked out."

I shook my head before clearing my throat. "No, it uh, doesn't freak me out. We've gotta get to class Emily, or at least I do." I replied pointing my head towards the building that housed the Biology class.

I watched as Emily turned towards Maya and kissed her soundly on the lips. I wanted to throw up. Of course she has a girlfriend. I mean, she's freaking beautiful. It's not like I'd let anyone know I was into girls anyways, so it shouldn't matter. I started walking towards the building once again and within moments Emily was by my side talking to me about hanging out with her and Maya later. I dismissed the invitation by saying that I had some family things and she didn't press, though when I saw the look in her eyes, I knew that she could tell I was lying.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys... I'm tending to write this one pretty fast. I still will have my other one going - BURN MY SKIN, but it's coming a bit slower. HA. Here's chapter 3. I hope you like it.**

**DEL - you know, everyone is SO upset about the whole drowning thing. I was a lil pissed at first too, but as soon as I realized they were making Paige a gay character, it all clicked. In the actual PLL show, it was probably a mixture of jealous and hate- but not hate for Emily, hate for herself. When you have that building up inside of you...this thing of HAVING to be someone you are not for fear of what may happen, so much comes out wrong. I was put in a position like Paige. So I understood her. Which is one reason I am doing this in first person from Paige's POV. I understand her. **

**AMCPRINCESS - I honestly didn't see Maya coming in there either! I don't plan what I write, I just write. Even with Burn My Skin... I just write... and I was writing and thats what I came out. I was like "huh...well, this is going to get interesting." HA! I hope you like this next part. **

**ARTISALL - Tension is right...LOL I'm glad you are excited about the story! I am too!**

**INEHERAM - I'm glad you love it! Here's more!**

**Allright, so for anyone who i may have forgotten - I still love you! Promise. Keep commenting, Keeping telling me how you feel.**

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Classes went on throughout the day without much hassle. I opted to go to the library and study instead of spending the free 45 minutes with Emily and her friends and….Maya. I didn't know why I was so unbelievably angry. Emily and I had the last three classes of the day together and not to mention PE. I spent most of the two classes being overly attentive to the teachers and doing classroom work extra slowly as to not have much free time to talk. I would catch Emily's eye every so often and I could see that she was concerned and a bit upset by my change in behavior. By the time PE arrived, she suggested that we clock each other in the water. I told her I wanted to go run the track instead. I just needed to clear my head. I quickly changed into my running gear from earlier and began running the track at full speed – leaving Emily behind.

Unfortunately, running didn't even help. Usually if I ran for a significant amount of time, I could clear my head and gain a better perspective on things. However, that wasn't the case. I continued to chastise myself. It wasn't like I was gay anyways. I mean, I just was finally glad to find a friend that I could relate to, but since she had a _girlfriend_ – the word girlfriend made me nauseated – most of her time was probably taken up. Yea she had a nice body, but many athletes admired their teammates' bodies. That was simply natural and a sign of respect. Though I couldn't figure out why it wasn't her body I was picturing in my head. It was her eyes. Those large, piercing, smoldering brown eyes. They haunted me.

After school ended, I grabbed my bags from the locker and jogged to my Jeep as fast as I could without looking like a complete spaz – even though I was pretty sure I already had that label covered. I tossed the bags in the back and hopped in the driver's seat ready to start the ignition. As I looked up, I saw flowing brown hair running towards the front of my truck at an incredible speed. As she neared, she slowed until she simply stood right in front of the grill unwilling to move. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes were locked on me. I thought about backing up but then I realized that I had pulled through the parking spaces and there was a rather large SUV behind me and so if I backed up, well, it was likely my baby would be hurt more than the damn black SUV.

_Fuck_

"Would you like to tell me what the hell is going on, Paige?" She shouted at me.

"Nothing. I've gotta go," I muttered

"Bullshit. What is going on?"

I could tell she knew something was up, but couldn't she just leave it the hell alone?

"Nothing Emily. I have to go. My father is waiting for me."

"I'm not moving until you actually stop lying to me," she pressed.

I sighed heavily and looked down at the steering wheel. I didn't even know what the hell was going on so how the fuck could I tell her? I had to tell her something or she was never going to let me leave. I had a feeling she meant it – she wouldn't leave until I told her something believable. I felt a pressure on the side of my car. I looked over and she was climbing through the opening of the window – she didn't even open the door.

"You know that could be considered breaking and entering," I teased. I figured if I could get her to laugh then maybe she would drop the damn subject.

"I think it's only 'breaking' if I actually broke something. Besides, it was open…so I see it as an open invitation." She smirked at me. "Paige, what is going on?"

"Isn't you girlfriend waiting for you?" I spat.

"Is that what this is about? I knew it!" She huffed as she crossed her arms once again and peered out the side of the door. "If it freaked you out, you should have just been honest with me," She scolded.

"It doesn't freak me out," I murmured.

"Then what _is_ it? Paige, I'm not a damn mind reader. All I know is at swim practice we were like the best of friends and all of a sudden you saw Maya and you became…."

"A bitch?" I finished.

"Well, yea…." She trailed off.

"Gee thanks." I rolled my eyes at my own comment. Deep down I knew she was right. I was being a bitch. Only thing was…I didn't know exactly why. Even at that moment I still had anger boiling in my blood. It was hell just to be next to her. Not really next to _her_ just knowing what I knew. Knowing that…._Maya_ was waiting for her. I gripped the lower part of my steering wheel tightly and took a deep breath.

"You said it not me," she defended.

As I exhaled the breath, I figured I had to tell her something fast. "Look, I'm sorry. I guess I just… wasn't expecting that. If…if…if my father knew that I had a gay friend he would kill me."

_That sounds believable…yea…let's go with that. _

"He's not exactly the gay-friendly type. And I guess I'm just nervous that he'll find out and will forbid me to even be 50 feet near you," I explained. I searched her eyes to see if that explanation actually passed. Fact was, I didn't know what the truth was but I knew I had to make up something soon before I completely lost any friendship with her. I knew that regardless of the circumstances I did not want to lose her friendship.

"I understand," she replied placing one hand on my arm. I looked over where her hand touched me. It burned.

"Emily, I'm sorry. I should have taken you aside and talked with you. And about hanging out with you and Maya…" I trailed off figuring I needed to explain that.

"Wait, who said anything about hanging out with me and Maya?"

"You asked me to hang out with you and Maya tonight…or some night…I'm not really sure. It's a little foggy. But you asked me like right before Biology."

"Um… No. I asked if you would hang out with me this weekend because Maya has to go up north and I figured maybe we could get a jump start on swimming and just hanging out. My mom is going to be gone all weekend and I really don't want to be alone," she explained.

"Oh." I felt like such a dumbass. I swore I thought she asked me to hang with her and Maya.

"And I figured since you just moved here, you may want the company. Like I said, I thought we were becoming good friends even though you just got here yesterday," she continued.

I let my head fall to the steering wheel. I, Paige McCullers, was a jackass. An all-around jackass.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I was a class A asshole. I really should have just talked to you. I can be such a dumb dumb sometimes."

Her facial expression softened. "It's okay. Just next time, please talk to me? Okay?"

"Yea… Okay." I relented.

She wrapped her arms around my middle in a sideways hug. "I've gotta go. Maya…." She trailed off.

"Yea, okay…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yea."

"You sure?"

"Yea, I'm sure."

"Paige…"

"Emily, I'm okay. It's just a lot to process, all right? I'll see you in the morning?"

"Definitely. Oh, wait let me see your phone."

"Why?" I asked.

"Just give me you phone."

I handed her my phone and saw her punch in something.

"There, now you have my number. And…" As her cellphone beeped she lifted it up in emphasis. "I have yours. Anytime you get bored, just text me…okay?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Yea…okay."

"Gotta go. See you tomorrow, McCullers."

"Yea…you will. I'll be the girl ahead of you."

"Not a chance."

I took my phone off the seat where Emily had left it and began driving out of the parking lot. This had been one interesting day. As I was leaving, I saw Emily and Maya leaning against a car talking. I saw Emily close the distance between her and Maya and kiss the girl soundly on the lips. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes and I felt sick to my stomach. This was more than being worried my father would find out I had a gay friend. This was all the feelings I've been burying inside coming to surface…and for a girl that was already happy with someone else.

_Get a grip, Paige. There is nothing here for you. A) You cannot be gay. You like guys. You HAVE to like guys. Understand. B) Even if you COULD like girls, a girl as perfect as Emily Fields would NEVER want to be with someone as clumsy, as egg headed and as stupid as you. You are a jackass and you know it. Shake it off. _

The remainder of the week passed without another one of my personal breakdowns. I met Emily at swim practice every morning and we spent the time in our classes studying together or simply talking. I decided to continue having lunch with her, Maya and her other three friends. I could tell that the other three weren't very comfortable around Maya but I didn't understand why. Perhaps their friend coming out was simply a shock and they were still getting used to the idea.

I learned more about each of them but I could tell that they were each hiding something- context and social clues can reveal nearly everything. Spencer was dating this guy, Toby. Apparently he was the sister of Jenna – who I didn't really know too much about. Hanna was dating Caleb and she told me anytime I needed anything technological done – like if I had a "honey in Italy" he could get it so I could talk to him without getting charged. Aria was the girl I couldn't figure out though. She was dating someone, I could tell. Something in her eyes told me, but she would never talk about it when I was around. It was very weird to me. I learned that they all had a good friend, Allison, that had been killed a year or so prior. I asked them if the police had caught the person who killed her and everyone seemed to get a little quiet as they confirmed that it was all done. I saw the tension rise and decided not to press the issue.

In PE, Emily and I would either race in the water or simply jog on the track, regardless we did it together. Our times seemed to be decreasing as we raced each other. I guess Emily never had any competition until me. Then again, I honestly didn't need to guess about that…I knew the other girls on the team. Emily was the best out of all of them. She still couldn't beat me. As hard as she worked, I worked harder. I refused to allow her the ability to gloat by swimming faster than me. Most of the time I beat her by 100th of a second – but hey, winning is winning.

I found myself still stand-offish towards Maya. She was a sweet girl but I just didn't like her. I thought Emily deserved someone better. The more I studied them, the more I realized that Maya would have short comments or sarcastic comments not to mention she was almost always the one to pull away from a kiss that Emily initiated. I chalked it up to Maya just having a bad week. Maybe she was stressed about going away? I really didn't ask why she was leaving and I really didn't care. I still couldn't figure out why I didn't like her, I just didn't. When I would see the two of them kiss or hold hands, the nauseas feeling in my stomach would arrive and I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was still angry but the last thing I wanted was to see Emily's eyes in the manner of how they were Tuesday afternoon. I resorted to grabbing my knees through my jeans and digging my nails into the fabric covered flesh. I couldn't exactly grip the edge of the table – she'd realize something was wrong.

On our way to the track Friday afternoon, Emily brought up the topic of the weekend. I hadn't mentioned anything about it to her since Tuesday. I still felt like a complete asshole. However I did ask my parents about it that evening. They inquired me all about Emily and her 'status' within the school. Once they found out she was a top student and a top swimmer, they approved – not surprisingly.

"So you never did answer me… "

"About what?"

"Did you want to hang out this weekend or …? She questioned.

"Oh. Umm…yea… I guess that would be okay."

"Well, I don't want to inconvenience you or make you feel obligated," Emily interjected.

"Oh, no… I mean… dammit." I took a breath. I didn't want to appear overly eager but I guess trying to play it cool just hurt the girl. "I talked to my parents already and they said that the extra practice and having someone time me would be beneficial. Plus, my father has a meeting in Pittsburgh and so they are going to be gone all weekend as well. They said if you wanted to come to my house that would be fine since we have a pool and everything…"

"I'd like that. When do you want me?"

"Excuse me?" I questioned taken aback a little.

"When do you want me to come over? My mom is already gone so I could come tonight, but if that's too soon…"

"No," I interrupted. "Tonight's perfect."

"You cooking McCullers?"

"Me? Cook?"

She looked at me expectantly.

"Yea, sure," I replied. "I'll cook. What do you like on your pizza?"

We decided that she'd come over after she grabbed her things from her house. I followed her to her house and then she followed me to mine. She grabbed enough clothes and personal items for a couple of days as well as her favorite pillow. When we finally reached my house, I had her park in my mom's spot in the garage. I figured no one was going to be home until late Sunday so why should her car be subjected to sun damage?

The evening passed quickly by watching old movies and eating homemade pizza - well as homemade as pre-made crust, jarred sauce, shredded cheese and sliced pepperoni thrown together and placed in a toaster oven is. We topped the evening off with a bowl of cookie dough. We were going to make the dough into cookies but we decided against it. Emily claimed that the best part of any cookie baking was just the raw batter… I had to agree.

As evening turned to night, I realized that there was one part of the night I did not think through…where was she going to sleep? It would have been rude to ask her to sleep on the floor.

_I could give her my bed and I could sleep on the floor_ I thought.

A major battle took place in my head. I knew she was with Maya, so it wasn't really appropriate for us to sleep in the same bed together, was it? I mean, we are just friends, so why should anyone suffer. Its not like something would happen. I'm straight. I. Am. Straight.

"What's going on in that head of yours?"

_Shit. She noticed. My freaking expressions give away everything. I really wish I could manage a poker face. At least just this once._

"Nothing. Why?" I tried anyways – knowing it wouldn't work.

"Paige…" she said exasperatedly. "I thought we weren't keeping things from one another…"

I let out a breath. "I just was trying to figure out where you were going to sleep."

"Oh." She whispered just barely loud enough for me to hear.

"I…I mean, you're more than welcome to crash in my bed. It's large enough…a full. But, I didn't think Maya would look too kindly upon that….you sleeping with another girl and all. "

Emily quirked an eyebrow at my slip.

"I mean…not sleeping, sleeping. But you know…sleeping in the same bed with another… oh Christ. I'm just going to stop talking now," I backtracked and finally just rested my head in my hands.

I knew my face was red from embarrassment. Everything I was trying to say came out wrong. Then, I heard her giggle. I had heard her laugh before but I had not heard her giggle. It was seriously the cutest thing I had ever heard. I looked up through my fingers to see her covering her mouth with her hands and her eyes squinting shut. She was pressed up against the arm of the couch with her knees to her chest.

"Glad you find amusement out of my word vomit," I dejected as I shot her a look.

As her giggle fit died down, she finally spoke.

"Paige, it's okay. Maya trusts me. It's just sleep. If you rather I sleep on the floor or on the couch that's fine. Just…"

"No!" I interrupted a little too enthusiastically which resulted in another one of her signature raised eyebrows. "I mean… why should you be uncomfortable? I mean, as long as she wouldn't try and kick my ass or anything." _Like she could_…

"So it's settled." Emily beamed at me. "I'm getting kinda tired. Mind if we make use of this recently settled decision?"

"Sure."

I turned off the TV as Emily carried the empty bowl into the kitchen and grabbed her bag. She followed me upstairs and into my room. As we both got ready for bed, I couldn't help but glance over as she whipped her shirt over her head. I knew I shouldn't for multiple reasons but I was just so drawn to her. As she turned around – quicker than I expected – I hurriedly threw my tank top overhead and turned out the light. We settled into my bed – her comfortably on one side with her favorite pillow and me not so comfortably on the other side with my pillows.

"Good night Paige," she whispered into the darkness.

"Night."

She was so close that I could smell her hair. Too close actually. Maybe it was a good thing that she was with Maya. It kept me from getting involved and doing something that my mother and father would disapprove of. I rolled over onto my side facing the window. My heart was pounding out of my chest and there was nothing I could do to stop it. How could I just be around her and not touch her? I had never felt drawn to anyone like I felt drawn to her. I took a deep cleansing breath and exhaled slowly trying to let the thoughts be cleared from my mind. When the only scent I breathed in was that of her, I relented. I closed my eyes and figured that since reality was a bitch, I could at least be free in my dreams.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey all! I'm back. i had a request to write a chapter for Burn My Skin after the whole episode fiasco on PLL Tuesday. If you haven't watched it - ignore everything i just said. But, I'm pretty sure if you haven't seen the episode, you've seen enough Paily GIF's to understand what happened!**

**I'm so happy I've gotten such a great response out of this story and I hope to continue! It seems to become quite the lengthy story which should be awesome. LOL**

**Artisall - I wondered that too... and I'm not sure how this is going to go. I honestly have zero idea. I know that Paige and Emily are going to come together somehow, just not really sure how just yet. **

**del - Paige doesn't get jealous. HA! but she so totally is. Emily is just super sweet and caring and she always will be. She is drawn to Paige but because she is totally in love with Maya, she doesn't even notice how Paige's heartrate increases by just being around her. Even if she did, it's not like Paige is going to do anything about it...yet.**

**cu12 - I'm so glad you are loving it! Because i keep getting requests to continue on Burn My Skin, i may not be able to update daily, but it'll be as fast as i can. This story is really easy for me to write!**

**Gloria - THANK YOU! I plan on it! I'm getting so many wonderful reviews! I don't know if you know, but if you like smut- go check out my other story - Burn My Skin. 3**

**okay ya'll...you know the drill... READ REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!**

**and if you are in the mood for smut... check out Burn my Skin. I just added another chapter. If there is something you wanna see Em and Paige do - let me know and I'll try to write it for you. Can't promise which story it'll be in, but eventually, I'll get it in!**

**LOVE YOU ALL!**

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The brightness of the morning woke me from my slumber. I wish I could say it had been a peaceful sleep, but that would be anything from the truth. I had dreamt of Emily all night and while those dreams were pleasant, as consciousness started to seep through I began to feel a ball of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I should not be thinking about her like that. How many times did I need to go over this with myself?

_I am straight and she is with someone else_.

Regardless, I couldn't shake the images from my dreams and then being in such close proximity to her all through the night was comforting yet… unnerving at the same time and for the same reason. Even just knowing Emily for a short week, I still thought she was the most beautiful and most amazing person I had ever had the opportunity to meet. If I kept having these types of dreams about her, it was going to kill me before I reached my 18th birthday.

I opened my eyes slowly and noticed I had changed positions throughout the night. I was now lying flat on my back with one arm above my head. When I went to sit up, I felt a light tickle on my stomach.

_What the fuck?_ I questioned myself.

I looked down and gulped. Emily's hand was resting on my stomach and her head was just millimeters from my breast. My heart began to pound in my chest mercilessly. I had no idea what the hell I was going to do. I could pretend to be asleep until she woke up, but I was almost certain she would be able to feel the ripple effect of the pounding in my chest. I could also gently remove her hand and rush to the bathroom to take a shower that way I wouldn't be around when she did wake up. Countless ideas ran through my head – some possible ones and other ones…well, were a little peculiar. One even involved a skate board and a Tyrannosaurus Rex. That idea was immediately scratched off when I realized I didn't own a skateboard.

I decided that moving her hand and heading downstairs to get breakfast may be my best option -my stomach was telling me I was starving. I didn't see the point in taking a shower because it was likely that we would be swimming this morning – even if 'we' wouldn't, I probably would hop in before she got up anyhow.

_Now it's just a matter of getting out of this bed unnoticed_

I looked down at my stomach. Her hand was resting peacefully on my tank top about an inch above my belly button. Her fingers twitched and it shot a burn directly through the fabric and into my skin. I closed my eyes tightly and attempted to control my breathing.

_What the hell, Paige? Get it together girl!_ I internally scolded myself

I tentatively moved my hand down to where hers was resting and hovered over it for a moment. I couldn't exactly bring myself to touch her hand. What if she would accidently try to hold my hand? I mean, It wouldn't be like she would be thinking it was me, but what if she thought it was Maya's hand touching hers, she tried to grab it, realized it wasn't Maya's hand, woke up and freaked out because it was mine….

_You think way too _much._ Just move her goddamn hand!_

I kept my position frozen – my hand hovering parallel to hers trying to figure out what to do. I contemplated about just letting her hand fall flat to the mattress but figured that the sudden movement would jar her awake and yet again, that was the one thing I did not want to do but I also couldn't just be frozen in place until the sun blackened from old age either. I took a deep breath and hesitantly held her wrist between two fingers and a thumb and moved it gently towards her as I extracted myself from the bed.

I stood up and stretched out my back by raising my arms high above my head as I inhaled deeply.

"Morning." I heard behind me.

I exhaled sharply and spun around to meet melted brown eyes still full of sleep looking up at me. Even after a full night's sleep, she still looked perfect. I wondered if she had any idea where she had landed last night or if she would remain oblivious. I was hoping for the latter.

"Morning," I replied as I struggled internally between sitting on the bed to talk and telling her I was going to go downstairs.

"I'm hungry," she said with a pout.

_Holy mother of God that pout is going to…_ I couldn't even allow myself to finish that thought.

"Cereal?" I asked as I headed towards the bedroom door.

"Sounds good. Just let me wash my face and I'll be down."

"Cool."

I reached the kitchen and began pulling out some cereal from the pantry. I grabbed two oversized bowls and two large spoons as well as the half gallon of skim milk. By the time I began pouring myself a bowl of Lucky Charms, Emily entered the room still only half awake. She sat on the barstool at the center island and rested her head on her hands sleepily. I pushed her two boxes of cereal – one Lucky Charms and one CoCo Puffs as well as the bowl and spoon I set out for her.

"You know, for two athletic girls, we can eat like two stoners…" she teased as she watched me stuff a large bite of marshmallow-y goodness into my mouth.

"Only part of the time," I defended.

She poured herself a bowl of Lucky charms and doused it in milk – much like how my bowl originally was. I took up residence on the bar stool next to her and we both ate in silence.

"I usually don't eat like a pig. Friday night and Saturdays are my 'cheat' day," I stated referring to our previous conversation.

"Just keep eating like a 15 year old boy, McCullers. It'll help me beat you," Emily smirked as she swatted my arm playfully.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Any time. Any place," she confirmed as she finished the milk left from her cereal.

"You're on," I sneered. "Let's go."

"Wait? Now?" She questioned with a horrified expression.

"You said…and I quote… 'Any time, any place.' Let's go." I concluded as I began my way through the living room and up the stairs.

"I didn't think you meant _right_ after we just ate a humongous bowl of cereal!" she yelled up to me as she jogged up the stairs trying to keep up.

"Should have been more specific," I smirked as I grabbed my swim suit and went into the bathroom to change. Even though my body was pumped full of adrenaline at the challenge, I knew it would be better to change in the privacy of my own bathroom verses changing with her right in front of me. Not only me changing in front of her, but more importantly her changing in front of me. I didn't need any reason for my adrenaline to become faulty and switch into high-geared nerves.

I came out of the bathroom dressed in my weekend swim gear – a dark red swim tank top and a pair of black swim boy shorts.. I hated the one pieces at school. They always stuck to my stomach and frankly, I hated having to pee while wearing them. Emily emerged from my room in a suit I wasn't expecting to see. I don't know if I was expecting her to wear a one piece like we had at school or what but I was not expecting her to be in a bikini. My gaze lingered a little longer than I originally had thought it did because it was her words that forced me out of my trance.

"Did you think I was all up for the one piece Lady Sharks swim gear?" she asked quirking an eyebrow. "I figured if I am swimming on the weekend in an outside pool, I might as well grab some sun."

She was wearing a light blue and purple bikini that showed off all of her muscles. It was tasteful – she was covered but it didn't leave much to the imagination. The top held her breasts lightly by forming a tie behind her neck and the bottoms….

I gulped light and averted my gaze before I could take in the sight of the bottoms.

_What the hell is the matter with you? Paige, get it the hell together._ I chastised myself.

"Is it too distracting? I mean, I wouldn't want to throw you off your_ game_, McCullers," she giggled.

"Pft. Pool. Now." I directed.

We raced down the stairs and out the back door each gunning for a side of the pool. We simultaneously dove in and began swimming laps across the 25 meter long pool. As I hit the wall and began to flip I opened my eyes to see her in sync with me. The chlorine stung my eyes but as I resurfaced I felt the air hit them and cool the burn. We swam laps in complete synchronization until she finally yelled "Last lap". I put every ounce of energy and strength into cutting my body through the water – then again, so did she. My arm reached out and hit the wall at the exact same time I saw hers tap the tile.

"I won!" I exclaimed.

"Like hell you did," she laughed. "We tied."

"Paige McCullers does not tie. It was like 1000th of a second," I chuckled.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night!" she giggled as she splashed a little water at me.

I raised my eyebrows in mock disbelief. "Oh, it's on!"

"Bring it!"

I raised my feet up in the water and kicked off the side wall allowing my upper body to be pushed back down into the sun-heated liquid. I opened my eyes – the chlorine stung but I didn't care. I noticed she was not standing where she initially was, so I kept swimming – my eyes darting all around the underground of the pool.

_Where the hell is she?_

Suddenly, I felt a tug at my waist and before I could understand what was happening, my body was partly lifted out of the pool and then slammed down. I turned myself around and was met with a beaming Emily. I reached out and grabbed her waist – pulling her back underwater with me. Our arms and feet batted against each other, occasionally entangling. I felt the pressure in my lungs build and at once I knew I needed a fresh breath of oxygen. I kicked my legs downwards and propelled myself to the surface. As I broke through, I gasped and took in a paining lungful of air. I saw her breach the surface as I brushed the water and hair away from my face. She began wiping off her face as she laughed.

"I told you to bring it!"

"You tricked me!" I yelled playfully at her and splashed water at her.

"You really want to start this again McCullers?" she quizzed.

"Whatever." I said with a laugh as I swam to the nearest side of the pool and lifted my body out of the water.

She followed closely behind. We grabbed towels out of the small nook on the back porch, dried off and sat down on the rocking chairs my parents insisted on bringing with us.

"We've been out here for hours," she observed as she noted the sun descending on the west side of the skyline.

"You made me miss lunch," I said deadpanned.

She looked at me awkwardly. I couldn't exactly pinpoint the emotion on her face.

"I'm joking…" I trailed off with a giggle.

"You eat like a boy, McCullers."

"I resent that," I mock-spat.

"Uh huh. You can resent the truth all you like, but it doesn't change the fact."

We burst into giggles.

As the giggle fit died down, I realized something. "I'm hungry…"

She looked at me with a beaming grin. "Of course you are!" she shouted as she threw her towel at me.

I waved it off with my hands before it could hit me square in the face.

We had eventually made our way back into the house and decided to attempt to cook. Well, technically Emily cooked as I grabbed the things she asked for. Watching her cook was like watching her in the water. Everything that girl did was so damn graceful and it made me wonder why I was always such a klutz. I wished I could be as graceful as she.

"Where did you learn how to cook?" I questioned as she whirled around my kitchen preparing fajitas.

"Umm… my mom. My mom and I would cook for my dad almost every night. She loves to cook and I guess I just…I don't know…picked it up from her," she smiled as she looked up from the skillet.

"I can officially say the only thing I learned from my mother was how to appease my father," I said as I looked down at the marble counter top.

She turned the fire on the stove down to low and walked over to me. She used a finger and tilted my head to look up at her.

"Do not ever hide your face from me, okay?"

"It's just…" _Was I really about to tell her what I had been putting up with most of my life from my parents? I had never told anyone about that before – not even my best friends from my other schools._

I inhaled deeply before continuing. "My parents have this… thing. My father always has to be in control and while I know he loves my mother and me, he can sometimes act as if we are his property. I have to be this…this…perfect daughter with the perfect grades and the perfect swim times."

I looked up at her and saw empathy in her dark eyes.

"Emily, I don't even have room to breathe. The ONLY reason he allowed you to stay over is because he knows that you are in most of my classes and you are on the swim team. He made me promise that we would study and spend at least 5 hours in the pool. He thinks you would be a good motivator because you are the only person I've met that comes close to my times in the pool …and today we tied. TIED, Emily! If my father knew that I let someone tie with me, I think he'd yell so much the vein in his head would pop!" I felt tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.

_Great, now you are crying. Good job, Paige_.

Emily wrapped her arms around me and brought my head down onto her chest. I could hear her heartbeat through the thin t-shirt she had put on after we had come back inside. Her hands brushed over my hair that was now pulled back at the nape of my neck.

"It's okay. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I understand about being something your parent's don't want you to be," she soothed.

I pulled my head away from her warmth. "What do you mean?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly.

"Paige, I'm gay. I have a father in the military and a very conservative mother. Do you not think that life for me was hell? Because it was, for a long time."

"Tell me about it?"

"Okay… let's eat first. We both need to eat and then I'll tell you what happened," she replied kissing the top of my head to comfort me before resuming her duties at the stove.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey yall! I'm glad that everyone likes the story so far. Okay, so just for the record, there is a part in here that is SIMILIAR to what happened on the show - it's not word for word and i KNOW this - I didn't want it to be, but how the writers played it out on screen...it was just too priceless for me not to use the general idea of it.**

**I did not get hardly any reviews for the 4th chapter and that saddens me! Like greatly. Please tell me what ya'll think AND if there is something you'd want to see happen - an outing, an event, even a sexcapade, let me know and I will do my best to incorporate it. Remember, I also have Burn My Skin out and it's updated pretty regularly - like this one. I write for YOU so I want to write what YOU want to see. I can't do that unless you tell me! There have been a few "please do this" on Burn My Skin's reviews, however some of them I may incorporate in here once Paige and Emily get together! So you never know where your suggestions/please do's will end up...but it will be on one of the two fics.**

**Come on everybody - if you read it, review it! Even if you hate it...tell me! LOL**

**GLORIA - HAHA! I'm glad you liked it! My theory is if Burn My Skin doesn't get the reader all hot and bothered (even a tiny bit) I just quit. LOL I honestly don't think I'm a good writer... There are MANY who are much much much better than me. I just write what I feel. =)**

**ARTISALL - I'm glad you like the interactions... they are just kinda flowing. I hope you like this one too!**

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"Maya had written me a note at school…a very detailed, expressive, vivid note," she laughed, I assumed at the memory. "I had read it at lunch and put it in my back pocket for safe-keeping. However, after swim practice and sneaking over to see Maya for a few minutes behind her house, I was just exhausted. So when I finally ate and went upstairs, I completely forgot the note was in my pocket and I just threw my jeans in the hamper."

My eyes widened. I was nearly afraid of what she was going to tell me, thought I could pretty much predict the next sentence.

"Well, my mom decided to do laundry the next day – of course – and she has this habit of emptying out all of the pockets. My father has this tendency to leave money in his pants and that's never a good thing," she shook her head dramatically and smiled. "So… mom found the note but instead of just putting the note in my room or on top of the washer for me, she decided to read it."

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands.

"It was horrible. I got a text while at school to 'come directly home after swim practice and whatever I do, do not go see Maya'. It was then that I remembered the note."

"What time did you get the text?"

"First period!"

"Oh my god! So you had to wait all day!"

"Uh huh…" she said with a nod.

"What did it say?" I asked curiously.

"What did what say?"

"The note…"

"Oh… um… it said something like…" she trailed off as blush crept up onto her cheeks. "Uh… basically she told me a dream that she had had that night before…that involved…us."

"Oh," I said nodding understanding.

"Yea…like I said. Very…um…vivid." The blush that started in her cheeks spread throughout her flawless face.

"Then what happened?" I didn't know why I was so curious, well, maybe deep down I did but I had absolutely zero idea of why I was asking.

Our position on the couch allowed us to have an easy conversation. Her back was pressed up against one end and mine on the other. Her bare feet rested in my lap as I sat cross-legged facing her and my hands rested on her bare ankles. Since coming inside from swimming, we didn't change all the way, we just simply put on shorts – and she put on a t-shirt over our swim suits. It was a comfortable position, but I almost felt guilty because secretly I reveled in the softness of her skin against my hands. The television could be heard slightly from across the room – more so for background noise than entertainment. I watched intently as she picked up her glass of raspberry iced tea from the coffee table and took a sip.

_Everything the girl does is so graceful._

I chastised myself for admiring her so greatly_. Friend's don't get nervous around other friends._

She cradled the glass in her hands as she began to answer my question.

"After swim practice I went home. My mom and dad were waiting for me at the kitchen table with the note. There…was…." She trailed off. "There was a lot of screaming…a lot of crying…a lot of blaming… It was not the best day of my life, I'll say that."

"Did they ever get over it?"

"Well, my dad and I have always been real close. He came into my room later that night… I was on my bed crying – more like sobbing. I just wanted to talk to Maya but they had taken my phone when I got home. We sat and talked – my dad and me. I told him that I loved her and that I had had feelings for girls for as long as I could remember but I didn't know if I was gay or straight or what. He told me he could see that I was struggling with it. He gave me my phone back and I called Maya… she always knows how to make it all right."

"And… What about your mom?"

"Well, mom was a bit of a different story. We barely talked for weeks – months actually. Anytime Maya would come over she'd always think we were…um…having sex or smoking weed."

"Why would your mom think you were smoking weed?"

"Maya does pot and my mom could smell it on me one night when I came home from her place. It ended up being this huge fiasco where mom thought I was smoking and she threatened to send either me or Maya away…it was horrible"

"I could see where that would be horrible."

"Yea… It irritates me sometimes, but it's just part of her."

"Is your mom okay now?"

"She is." She confirmed with a nod. "It took a while but she is coming around. She still doesn't exactly understand why I like girls but she realized that I'm still her daughter and she still loves me," she continued, finishing her iced tea.

"Wow, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that had to have been for you."

"It was hard. But you know what? It's okay now."

"I wish I could be like you," I murmured taking a decent size drink of my own tea.

"What? Gay?" she smirked.

The pain that followed was not a pleasurable pain. It was a 'this burns like hell' pain. I felt the liquid enter my nasal cavity slightly as I snorted and I coughed loudly as I choked on the tea. My nasal passage felt like it was on fire and I couldn't catch my breath. As soon as she realized what had happened, Emily jolted from her position on the couch and rushed towards me. She began gently rubbing and patting my back to try to ease the coughing fit.

"You okay? She asked out of concern.

"Yea…" I took another drink of tea to ease the ache in my throat. "I'm…I'm fine."

"Paige, what was that?"

"Nothing… I just… wasn't expecting you to imply that I meant 'gay'."

"So what were you talking about?" She scooted back to her previous position as I relaxed into the comfort of the couch.

"You just seem…fearless."

"I am so not fearless."

"But you aren't afraid to be who you are," I pressed.

"I'm not afraid now, but I was. I was so ashamed of who I was because it was something that I grew up thinking was wrong and unnatural. But even though It was a nightmare when my mom found that note, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm out. So whatever happens next, I don't have to worry about it because whatever I face now… I'm going to face it being me. I'm through pretending I'm something I'm not and I have Maya to thank for that."

I just looked at her. She was barely 17 but she was so wise. And regardless of what she said, she was fearless… at least in my eyes.

"What?" She asked hesitantly.

"You are just… Wow Emily," I answered.

"What about you, Paige?" She teased as she scooted closer to me and mirrored my position on the couch – her legs crossed underneath of her.

"What about what?"

"Ever think about kissing a girl?" she asked nudging my shoulder.

I tensed. My body completely froze at her question and my mouth instantly dried out.

"Uhh… No." I lied. Why did I have to lie?

"Ease up, McCullers. I'm just playing. So are there any guys at school you like?"

For some reason, I chose to blush at this moment.

_No guys_

"Oh my god there is! Spill!" She ordered as she switched positions to sit on her knees.

"There is no guy, Emily. I promise."

She looked a little sad – her face contorting into a form of the pout I saw earlier before breakfast.

"It's just… I don't have time for guys or a relationship or anything. And there's the thing of if my father found out…well, I probably wouldn't be allowed out of my room until I'm 50," I explained. I had to do everything possible to get her to know for sure that I was straight. I was NOT into girls. I couldn't be into girls. It just was not something Paige McCullers could do.

"I understand," Emily said sweetly as she touched my arm. "I wish you parents were less strict with you though."

"It's mainly my dad. I mean, he loves me. I know he loves me. But…"

"But what?"

"Geesh. You don't want to hear all this again. I can't even believe I've told you this much. Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the night, ya know with the 'sob tales of Paige McCullers' and the small crying jab I had earlier," I said as I internally scolded myself. She doesn't want to hear all of this…and some of what I could say would surely to be a repeat of things I have already told her… well maybe not an exact repeat but she's smart she could assume that my relationship with my parents was anything but picture perfect.

"Paige, look at me…" she lifted my chin slightly so she could see into my eyes. "I want to hear. You didn't ruin the night. We're friends, right?"

"Yea… I thought we were."

"Okay then. If you need to talk, talk. It's just me. You can tell me anything."

"Are you sure? I don't want to burden you with any of this…"

"I couldn't be more positive."

I took a deep cleansing breath. "I just feel like I am his trophy instead of his daughter. I feel like he loves me the way I love my swim medals…" I trailed off.

"Oh, Paige…"

She wrapped her arms around me and my face fell into her shoulder as the tears I had been holding back for so long began to stream down my face for the second time that evening. I didn't know why, but I felt like I could truly be myself around Emily. Being with her…around her was so easy. I didn't feel like I had to pretend to be something I wasn't. I could just be…Paige. I had only known the girl less than a week but I felt like I could tell her anything. Scary, really. What if she betrayed me? What if I tell her all of my secrets and she goes and tells someone else? No, Emily wouldn't do that. She has this…pure heart. I wish I could be like her…have her strength and her determination and her love.

My sobs quieted after several moments and I looked up at her with glossy eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry."

I wiped the tears from my cheeks as she pulled her arms away from me. I secretly missed the embrace but I did not let it show on my face. I knew that if I was going to be around her for any length of time, I would have to learn how to have a poker face. It was just as simple as that.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before exhaustion washed over me.

"Paige, you're tired. Let's go to bed," Emily suggested softly.

"No, I'm…I'm okay. See?" I tried to convince her by forcing myself to perk up. I just wasn't sure about being in such close proximity to her – again – so fast.

"You're lying. C'mon. Let's get you to bed…"

She stood up and grabbed my hand to help me off of the couch. I was kind of thankful for her assistance… the crying and pure exhaustion took a toll on my stability. She let go of my hand as I began more stable on my feet and I followed her up the stairs. I went to the bathroom to change and wash my blotchy face and when I reentered the bedroom I saw Emily on the phone.

"So what does that mean?"

I could hear the concern in her voice and I could see it on her face.

"Why do you always have to be so cryptic, Maya?"

I went over to my closet and put my dirty clothes in the hamper. I wasn't sure if I should leave or just pretend to be invisible…

"Maya, just talk to me…"

_What the hell? Paige, it's none of your business, just stay out of it._

I didn't like the look on Emily's face or the tone of her voice. She was hurt. Her entire persona changed from the time I had initially gone into the bathroom to clean up. I didn't want to leave her alone, but I didn't want to intrude either. I walked over to her line of vision and pointed to the door – showing her I was going to give her some privacy.

"We can't figure anything out if you don't talk to me…"

She shook her head at my motion and for the first time I saw her eyes glistening with what appeared to be tears. I stayed in the room, but made my way over to my bookshelf and made sure all of my books were in line. Of course, they were, but I didn't feel right just staring at the girl.

"Okay, fine…"

"Yea, it's fine. I love you…"

_Gag me…please_

I saw her slam her phone onto the bed and cover her face with her hands. I wanted to rush towards her and comfort her like she had done me, but this was different. I walked over towards the bed and sat down beside her. I've never truly comforted anyone before… I mean, my friend Amanda broke up with her boyfriend of like 2 weeks but this felt different. My heart was breaking for this girl who I've barely known.

"Emily?" I hesitated.

She brushed her hair away from her face and looked into my eye. Her cheeks were stained and her eyes puffy. Well, wasn't this just the night of tears?

I couldn't help myself. Before I realized what I was doing, my arms were around her, holding her to me. My fingers ran through the tips of her hair as I did my best to soothe her continuing cries. I couldn't imagine what had happened. Emily had said 'I love you' before she hung up and I could tell Maya had said something afterwards – so they didn't break up…did they? No… I think Emily would be much more broken if Maya had called it quits. But something did happen. She had her arms wrapped around my middle and her hands pressed into the center of my back.

She cried herself out after a few moments and I eased my embrace so I could look at her.

"Emily, what happened?" I asked tentatively. I wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about it, but I wanted her to know that I was there for her.

As she rubbed her eyes, I leaned back and stretched my muscles to reach the small box of Puff's that I had in the drawer. I finally took hold of the small box and forced myself back into a sitting position – handing her the box of tissues. She took one and dabbed at her eyes before taking a lungful of air.

"You know how Maya is up north?"

"Yea…"

"Well, she didn't _exactly_ go up north…"

"What do you mean _exactly_?"

"Well, she went north…" She trailed off.

"Em, I know I am awesome and all, but my mind-reading skills are at a minimum today… What happened?"

I guess the comment broke through to her because I saw a small smile form at the corners of her mouth.

"Um…She went to Washington," she answered looked down at her knees.

"Washington? But…Washington is south of us..." I was confused. What was she talking about?

"No. Not Washington, DC… Washington State," she clarified forcing her tears to remain at bay.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey all!**

**I know this is weird – me posting two chapters of the same story in one day. BUT I had a request to post another chapter within 12 hours because someone wanted to wake up to chapter 6… SO since I buckled down and wrote (instead of watching Transformers) I HOPE to get some love!**

**SHOUTOUTS!**

**OMG – okay…so love, this one is for you! I buckled down and stopped watching transformers the moment I received this! I was working on BURN MY SKIN when I received your request. So I finished that one and then wrote a quick chapter for here. I hope you enjoy! If you haven't read BURN MY SKIN – do! And tell me what you think!**

**Shawster – o yay! You're reading both! HA! Burn my skin is more…umm…yea. LOL I get all hot just writing it! However, I promise this one will get just as good – I just have a story I'm building up! I'm glad you are reading and liking though!**

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**OKAY YA'LL! I'm out... KEEP READING! KEEP REVIEWING (pretty pretty pretty pretty please) and let me know what you think! As always, check out BURN MY SKIN – I just updated again today AND if there is anything you'd like to see, PM me or put it on a review. I'll do my best to incorporate. I write for you!**

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* * *

"Washington State?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I honestly didn't know if this was good or bad. I didn't like Maya… I didn't know why I didn't like Maya, I just knew I didn't like her. But I could tell this was tearing Emily from the inside out.

"Paige…how do you work through 2500 miles?"

I didn't have the answer. I just shook my head.

"I love her, Paige. I truly love her but she seems it as some sign that we aren't supposed to be together. I don't get it."

"Em… look at me," I soothed.

She looked up and caught my eyes.

As sincerely as I possibly could without revealing a part of me that I couldn't possibly admit, I began. "Any girl….any girl would be honored and call it a privilege to just be near you. Maya is probably just as overwhelmed by this as you are and I doubt she would give up such an amazing, beautiful girl like you so quickly. And….and if she does, then it is her loss because at that point, I'd say that you, Miss Fields, deserves better than that."

She sniffed a little and wiped her eyes. "You know, McCullers… under that hard exterior and the sarcasm and the competitiveness… you are a really sweet and compassionate human being…"

"Yea, well…don't tell anyone," I smirked as I playfully jabbed my elbow into her side.

"I think that exhaustion has crept on over to me…" she yawned.

She scooted to the top of the bed as I got up and turned off the light. The sheets were kinda cool at first as I got under the covers.

"Paige?"

"Yea, Em?"

"Is something wrong with me?"

I rolled to my side to face her. "What are you talking about?"

"It's just… this isn't the first time…." She trailed off into silence.

"Em… first time…for what?"

"It isn't the first time Maya has been distant from me or the first time she's acted…off. And I always wonder if it's me. If she gets distant because of something I did or… or said…"

My insides were burning…screaming. I was furious at Maya for behaving in ways to make Emily doubt how much of an amazing person she is.

"But then… then there are times where everything is perfect. She's…she's mine and she's _my_ Maya. She isn't distracted and she consumes me and it's so great."

I could tell by the way she talked how in love she was with Maya. It sickened me. It just freaking sickened me. I could feel the anger building in the pit of my stomach and spread throughout each of my limbs. I had to squeeze my fists to keep myself semi-calm. I was thankful for the darkened room because it made it harder for her to see how infuriated I was. I knew that all of my emotions tended to show on my face and this was one emotion I did not want her to see.

"Emily… there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You…you're perfect." I licked my lips and took a deep breath then continued, "I don't know what Maya's problem is but…if she really knows what is in front of her… she'll step up and figure it out."

I didn't know why I was comforting her over Maya. All I wanted to do was scream that 'Maya was a dumbass' but I couldn't. I also had never really comforted anyone before and so I didn't exactly know what I was doing. I'd spent most of my life becoming calloused to much emotion, but Emily…she just brought all that emotion to the surface.

"You really think?"

"Emily, I'm positive. You two will figure it out, somehow. Now come on…lets go to sleep. There's some place I want to take you tomorrow and we need to get up early," I finished with a smile.

She sat up on her elbow confused, "Where are we going? And how early is 'early'?"

I laughed. "I'm not telling you. It's a surprise. And 8:30"

"But it's nearly 1:30am now!"

"Then I suggest you get to sleep, Fields."

"Good night, Paige."

"Good night Emily"

"Hey Paige…?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Being my friend and…and listening to me sob over Maya."

"Anytime."

"Will you please tell me where we are going?" Emily asked from the passenger's seat of my Wrangler.

"Just drink your coffee."

"Paige, we've been driving for an hour... Wait… are you kidnapping me?"

"Damn. You caught me," I teased.

I looked at her un-amused face.

"Just relax. We'll be there soon."

"Why are we going on this road trip anyways?" She questioned.

"I thought you could use a little fresh air… you know, away from everything."

Truth was, I knew she was really upset over Maya and I thought that If I took her away somewhere that she'd be able to forget…even just for a little while. It was more like damage control than anything. I've never been good with words, but I've always been told I know how to make someone laugh. I had lived in a town about 2 hours from Atlantic City before and a friend of mine – who was a bit older – and I went on day trip. I just found the beach relaxing and it helped me concentrate. I still remembered exactly where we went and the ins and outs of the town – at least the parts that we had ventured through.

"Atlantic City?" She asked with a quirked eyebrow as we passed a sign.

"Yup." I confirmed.

"Paige…you know we can't gamble…"

"Such a small imagination, Fields. Trust me."

She leaned back into the chair and put her arm outside of the open window as I grinned widely.

Twenty minutes later, we walked away from the parking garage that I had parked my Jeep in. It was a 10 minute walk to the beach but we had to bypass all of the grand casinos and luxurious hotels.

"I'd love to stay in a place like that one day…" she said looked up at a replica of Caesar's Palace.

"It is gorgeous…" I added as we walked by.

As we reached the boardwalk, I pulled her over to a small café that served a couple breakfast items. We each grabbed a muffin and a coffee and I continued to usher her out to the ocean. We found a secluded spot of sand and I took off the previously packed book bag that I had brought with me and pulled out a light blanket. I set the blanket down on the sand and we both moved to sit and finish our coffee.

"This is beautiful…" she said absent-mindedly as she stared out at the ocean.

"Yea… I lived around here a few years ago and a friend of mine and I came here one weekend. I had gotten in a huge fight with my dad and she just packed me in the car and told me to 'go along for the ride'."

"Sounds familiar," she chuckled poking me in the side with her elbow.

"I just thought that maybe you could use a change of scenery."

We talked aimlessly for the next few hours, touching on subjects like upcoming school projects, past friends, past stories and future wants. As the sun continued to rise high in the sky, we eventually decided to pack up the blanket and take a stroll along the shore barefoot. The sand felt so unbelievably glorious underneath of my feet as the waves crashed at my ankles sporadically as we walked the shoreline. We spent time picking up sea shells and making fun notes in the wet sand. There was no talk of my father or Maya. We kept all difficult conversations in Rosewood – the way I had planned. I knew I couldn't be with her, but I figured at least I could be that one really good friend everyone should have and she seemed to want to be mine.

"So…is there any place to eat out here or do we have to catch our own fish?"

I laughed contently. "Actually, I have the perfect place and it's not too far from here. C'mon!"

She gathered the rest of the sea shells and the few sand dollars she found and followed me back onto the boardwalk. We walked down the wooden pathway a block or so before turning onto a side street and arriving quickly to a little Italian bistro – Masimo's. We made ourselves comfortable at a patio table and each took turns ordering our respective dinners. I could spend an eternity talking to Emily and never run out of things to say. The girl made life so…easy. Nothing was hard when it came to her. Shortly after finishing our salads, the waiter brought her a steaming plate of chicken carbonara sans the bacon and me an enticing plate of eggplant parmesan. We ate in silence just simply enjoying one another's company and breathing in the fresh scent of the cool late-afternoon ocean air.

"How much do I owe you?" Emily asked as the waiter brought us the bill.

"Nothing." I said grabbing my wallet from my bad.

"Paige, I ate something too, How much?"

"Nothing…" I said a bit more firmly.

"I am not letting you pay for dinner, McCullers!"

"Who said anything about you 'letting' me? I'm paying. It was my idea to come on this little adventure. So just sit back and shush!" I said pointedly.

"You paid for the gas and breakfast and for that bracelet I got on the boardwalk. At least let me help pay for dinner!"

Just as Emily finished her sentence, the waiter walked by and I handed him the black book with all the cash inside for the meal and a generous tip. Emily saw the move and scoffed at me.

"I can't believe you!"

"Okay…so next time I win one of our little races, you have to scream…at the top of your lungs… in the middle of the school … that Paige McCullers is the most human being of all time…"

"How about I just buy you some pizza after our meet next week?"

"Deal!"

We left the beach just in enough time to get home before my parents and quickly hop in the pool to make it seem like we had been doing laps during the greater portion of the day. My dad quickly approved of Emily's influence on me and told me that she was welcome at the house any time as long as we took time and studied or swam. After my parents had gone into the house, we sat on the sets of the pool and laughed. If only they knew what kind of days we had been having!

Soon after, Emily figured it was time to go home and so I found myself lying in my bed, staring at the wall and thinking about a time when I could possibly have the courage to be like her… fearless and free. Free to be….free to love…free from it all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! I adore some of these reviews! Keep em coming! PLEASEEEEE! I actually finished this last night but I had to go through and do a read thru before posting it. Let me know what you think!**

**Ineheram – you'll be waiting a bit longer… unless Paige goes all spastic and kisses Emily…which I guess we'll both find out of that happens… Can you feel the tension in Paige? She's so conflicted.**

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**Artisall – well I don't know if Paige will 'play' per say… but tell me what you think about their confrontation…do you think it'll happen?**

**OKAY! So…HERE IS MY HOMEWORK FOR ALL OF YOU! As you read this – I want you to think…and when you read the ending, I want you to tell me what YOU THINK will happen… I want your opinions and your ideas. Now I know I have like 300+ readers a day… I want to see 300 reviews and ideas! Give me your predictions…**

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* * *

Silence.

Deafening silence.

The only sound I could hear was the sound of water as I cut through lane number four. The chemicals of the water seeped into my mouth as my head came up from breath. The taste was bitter yet sweet. For some reason I adored the flavor and burn of chlorine. It was my salvation. My focus narrowed solely on the movement of my arms and legs as I glided through the water. I hit the 50 meter wall and flipped with ease – pushing myself with great force in the direction from which I came. The burn in my muscles fueled me to push harder. I had made anchor this week for the breast stroke and I didn't want to disappoint my couch or my team.

We had won the past 2 swim meets and this meet was against our greatest rival. Both teams were considered to be the best in the region. Emily anchored in the freestyle and I was chosen to anchor for breast stroke. Emily and I had spent every moment possible in the water timing each other when I was studying and she wasn't with Maya. It was now mid-September and Maya was leaving at the beginning of October. It seemed like Emily spent more time with me in the pool or working on projects than she did with Maya and as much as it concerned me, I couldn't help but be internally happy about it – Maya did not deserve Emily.

Maya had become distant from her since coming back to Rosewood the Monday after her weekend away. Their interactions during school had dwindled slightly and I could tell how badly it was hurting my friend. About a week ago, I was running late for school and as I was jogging towards the building for first period, I noticed Emily kissing Maya – but Maya wasn't kissing back. I wondered if that was just her 'M-O'…becoming distant when things got rough. Regardless, Emily was hurting and even thought she pretended to be okay, I could tell she definitely was not. Her friends didn't seem to make it easier either. They were always pressing for information – asking the typical journalistic questions… who, what when where and why. Although Emily and I always had lunch with the three girls, I could tell she was distancing herself from them as well. I had figured she would start to distance herself from me but it had been the exact opposite. I began receiving more texts of 'are you hungry?', 'wanna swim?', and others asking me various questions always relating to us getting together for some type of activity.

I honestly had no idea why she sought comfort in me. It was becoming harder and harder to deny my feelings for her. We had talked more about issues with her mom and her coming out to her friends… I wasn't sure what I was searching for - maybe the internal knowledge that if I ever chose – which I never would – to allow myself to be who I thought I truly was, that it would all work out in the end. Even though I continued to remind myself that I was straight – and even if I wasn't, I couldn't allow myself to act upon any feelings I may or may not have had.

The wall was barely a foot in front of me. I exerted all of my energy and strength into one last stroke as my palm touch the warm tile. The crowds in the bleachers were roaring. I tore off my cap and goggles in one swift motion before looking at the times. We had won by more than a second. I gripped the concrete and fluidly lifted myself out of the water and stood on the concrete only to be engulfed in a huge hug from Emily.

"Paige! You did it!" she yelled excitedly.

It was well known that the one part of the meet that the Wildcats beat the Sharks in every single time was the breast stroke. We always had them beat on freestyle but because of me, we now also had them beat on the one thing that held us back. As Emily and I hugged while jumping up and down, the rest of the team swarmed around me in cheers.

"Well done McCullers!" I heard behind me as I was getting changed in the locker room.

"Thanks Coach!" I beamed, turning around to meet her face to face.

"You and Fields have been really cutting down your times. If you keep it up, there's no doubt that you'll both have scouts after you come the end of the season."

Emily looked over at me wide-eyed.

"That's amazing coach!" she said grinning from ear to ear.

"Keep up the good work girls!" The coach finished as she walked away to talk to a few of our other teammates.

"Did you hear that?" Emily asked animatedly, already knowing the answer.

"Come on, Peppy… let's go!" I laughed as I shook my head at her enthusiasm.

_These walls are so boring_. I thought as I was sprawled out on my full size bed atop the covers.

After the meet, Emily and I had gone to our favorite pizza joint for a celebratory dinner and then we eat went home… well I went home. Maya had texted her and she wanted to go spend some time alone with her.

_Barf_

I hadn't done anything to my walls. I had one poster up and that was about it. I looked towards the wall with the window – all of my boxes were still nearly piled against the corner. I couldn't believe I had been here for over a month and I still had barely unpacked. Any time I needed anything I'd simply rummage through the boxes until I found what I needed. I had two empty bookshelves, four empty shelves screwed to the wall about three quarters of the way to the ceiling and my empty desk opposite of my bed. Even my chest's surface was bare aside from the TV and DVD player that rested comfortably on it.

I rolled off the bed and onto my feet.

_No time like the present_.

I grabbed a box and placed it on my bed. As I went through the items, I made a point to find a place for everything – be it in a box for "safe-keeping" or an actual place. I found all of my posters and other memorabilia that I enjoyed having on my wall. After finding the sticky tact I moved around the room to place up the various posters of famous swimmers, bands and one funny picture of a disgruntled looking dog with wide eyes. I never knew why that poster amused me so, but I'd had it since I was 12. I wasn't about to part with it.

A couple hours later I grabbed the last small box. As I went through it, I found my old journal. It wasn't really as much of as journal as it was a "bitch book". I would write down how I was feeling if I wanted to bitch about something. I opened the black and white composition book and an old folded piece of notebook paper fell onto my lap. My heart stopped as I hesitantly picked up the paper and opened the fold.

_Paige,_

_This is hard for me to say because I'm afraid I'm going to lose your friendship forever. I know how strict your parents are and I know that you aren't being true to yourself. I can see how you look at me because it's the same way I look at you. I think I am in love with you, Paige. You can't keep ignoring the chemistry between us. Anytime we are together, something always sparks and you know it. You are breaking my heart. _

_The other night when I leaned in to kiss you, I could feel that you wanted to. Why did you back away? If you are afraid of your parents, I can help you deal with them. We'll figure out something. I don't want to go another day without being in your arms. If you need to hide, we can hide for a time but I want you to know that I'm always here for you. _

_Yours,_

_Kat_

Breath escaped my lungs and I couldn't force myself to inhale. Tears flowed from my eyes and dampened the previously tear-stained paper again. I had nearly forgotten. Nearly. Truth was I did love Kat – probably more than I had realized at the time. She was my best friend. I reached into the box and found the necklace that she had given me two weeks before … before… I held the necklace in my hands gingerly. The sterling silver linked chain held a small pendant – the symbol for water. I clutched the pendant in my hand as my sobs grew. My entire body shook from exertion as my body went limp and fell sideways onto the mattress. My face found comfort in the soft pillows as my body curled into itself.

I wish I could just call her and explain to her how much I did love and care for her. She, Amanda and I used to be such good friends. Kat and I had a special bond compared to Amanda and I. Emily reminded me of Kat. Kat was easy to talk to and full of life. She wasn't a swimmer…hell I didn't think she would run if a pack of wild dogs were chasing her. Kat loved art though. She would paint for hours and I would just sit and watch her. My gut wrenched with despair. I couldn't call her even if I wanted to.

My mind flashed back to the wreck. She and I were driving home from a concert that I snuck out to see. We were talking and having a good time. The music was up but she was still keeping her main focus on the road. Kat had a race-car driver for an uncle and he taught her how to focus on driving even if there were a hundred distractions. We were at a stop light and as it turned green, some drunk guy in the cross -lane wasn't paying attention. He t-boned her side and her car rolled down a small embankment. By the time I came to, I realized that we were both trapped but paramedics and the fire squads were working on getting us both out of the tiny vehicle. I had closed my eyes for just a second and when I opened them I had no idea where I was. Everything was so foggy. I kept asking about Kat but the truth was, I was in a hospital room very much alive and Kat was dead.

As my mind replayed the horrid memory, I fastened the necklace around my neck slowly and held onto the pendant. Tears flowed down my puffy cheeks and my breath was ragged from crying. I needed to get out. I scooted off the bed and put on my running shoes slowly – making sure the laces were tied. I walked over to my desk and grabbed my phone with a set of ear buds before I raced down the stairs and out the front door. I barely heard my parents asking me where I was going and I didn't even have the ability to answer. I didn't really care if I would get in trouble, I just needed out.

I didn't even know how long or how far I had ran… all I knew is that my legs were burning. I had to have been out for a while, because the sun was falling fast in the horizon. I hadn't stopped crying since I left the house.

_It should have been me!_ I screamed to myself.

The exertion of my run and crying jag fully exhausted me. I was miles from home but I didn't even know which direction to start walking to get home. I found a bench and sat down – my body hunched over, my elbows resting on my knees and my face buried in my hands. My eyes were red and dry… I couldn't cry anymore. I didn't know what to do. Kat had been right – I had had feelings for her…or something resembling feelings. This past month with Emily had reminded me of the things I buried so deep within myself but I could release. I could never let anyone know that I had 'improper feelings' sometimes.

The sky darkened considerably. I could tell it was going to rain because the humidity rose and the fog over the hills surfaced. I made my way back – retracing the steps I thought I had taken. I wasn't in a rush home…I barely walked at a normal pace. I felt my phone vibrate in my hand.

**What's wrong?**

I looked at my phone curiously. How did Emily know something was wrong? I didn't know what to text back so I just put my phone back in my pocket and kept walking. I'd tell her I lost it or something…or just that I didn't want to talk.

**Paige, what is wrong? I can see you. You're talking slower than a snail covered in molasses.**

I smiled. How did she always do that? How did she always make me smile?

**_Nothing. I'm okay. _**

**You're a GREAT liar, McCullers. **

**_Sorry. It's too much to text. Can we talk later?_**

**I told you I could see you. Do you want a ride home?**

**_Where are you?_**

**Behind you… don't look… LOL**

**_ . very funny Fields. Seriously where are you?_**

"You need a ride there hot shot?"

I whipped my head around to see where the familiar voice came from. Emily's Toyota Corolla stopped just as the door as within my grasp.

"Get in," she directed.

I put my hands on the car door. "Em, I think I'm just going to walk home."

"Get in, McCullers…" she pressed.

"Seriously, I just need to be alone right now," I replied putting my head down. I had been alone for hours and it hadn't helped.

"Paige," she said softly. "Get in the car."

I relented. I opened up the passenger's door and sank into the bucket seat.

We drove for a few miles - I was assuming back to Rosewood but when I noticed more and more trees I thought she may have made a wrong turn.

"Did you get lost?" I asked curiously.

"Just sit tight. We're almost there."

"Now it's my turn to ask… are you kidnapping me?"

"Yes. Yes I am." She smiled and for the first time that night I felt my mouth turn upwards at its corners.

How did being in the same room as Emily always have this positive effect on me? It was like I couldn't be sad or angry or upset if she was within 20 feet of me. I knew she was going to ask about what was wrong and I didn't know what to say as to not hurt her feelings, but I couldn't tell her about Kat… could i? If anyone would understand it would be Emily. No. No I couldn't tell Emily about Kat because I didn't even know what the hell 'Kat' was.

The car pulled up on a dirt road and stopped just shy of a gate.

"Come on," she said getting out of the vehicle.

I followed her past the gate and up a small hill. At the top of the hill, my breath was taken from me. It was nearly the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. This secret spot that Emily had brought me to was a clearing on top of one of the largest hills just outside of Rosewood and it overlooked so many miles that I could even see the entire town and more. I felt, for the first time, bigger than all of the problems that I could perceptually cover with my thumb.

"Amazing, huh?"

"It's like everything that is wrong and heart wrenching….its beneath me. I'm above it."

"It puts a lot of things into perspective."

"Yea," I nodded still awe-struck by the view. "How did you find this place?"

"My dad. We used to come up here a lot right before he'd get shipped off."

"I bet you bring Maya up here all the time. It's absolutely beautiful." I didn't have any tension or distain in my voice. It wasn't a snide remark or a sarcastic comment.

"Actually…I've never brought Maya up here before," she answered evenly as she gazed out over the hills.

_Huh…_

"Paige, what is going on with you?"

I turned to face her. "How do you know something is wrong?" I quizzed.

"You're eyes are still blood shot, your cheeks are tear stained and when I went to go see you at your house, you parents told me that you had just run off. They said you looked really upset but you were running so they figured you were just getting in a good workout after a stressful swim meet," she replied rolling her eyes at the last part.

"Oh… ummm. I don't even know where to begin," I started.

She nodded her head. "The beginning is usually the best part…"

"It's just… I had a really good friend that died about six months ago and I found a note from her and some of the things she had given me in a box today when I decided to unpack the mad amount of boxes in the corner."

_That's it Paige. You didn't lie, but you kept it even. You can handle this_

I subconsciously started playing with the pendant lying in the center of my chest.

"May I?" she asked.

I froze and allowed the water sign pendant to be transferred to her nimble fingers. She was so close it was gut-wrenching. Her face was just barely an inch away from me and the back of her hand rested on my bare skin. She studied the pendant with her fingers before gingerly laying it back in its place. She took a step back and my body silently thanked her for the increase in distance.

"Wait…why were you looking for me? I thought you were with Maya tonight?"

"The million dollar question," she breathed.

Her gaze trailed along the darkened skyline. It had to have been nearly 10pm by now if not later. I could tell by her change in breathing that something was up.

_If Maya hurt her… calm yourself Paige. You don't even know what happened, not to mention, Emily is not yours to protect. It doesn't matter. If she hurt her…_

My thoughts were interrupted by Emily's shakey voice.

"We got in a fight tonight. A large one, actually. I called her a couple of times but she won't pick up. I think…I think she is going to break up with me when she moves."

I took a deep breath before answering. "Why do you think that?"

"Because she wants me to come with her but…I can't. Honestly, she wants to run away and I can't run away with her. She said I may be…." She took a deep breath.

"What Em?" I was so worried about her. I could tell this was eating her.

"She said….that I would probably be better off without her."

Tears began to flow from her cheeks and breath became a struggle for her. My heart broke at the sight of this amazing girl crying in the moonlight. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and gently led her to sit on the ground – still comforted by my embrace. Her closeness sent bats flying in my stomach but it wasn't about what she did to me. It wasn't about wasn't about my inner struggle. It wasn't about how much I hated myself because I was a coward. It was about my friend…someone I held very close to me…someone I cared for… was breaking. She clutched onto my arms and pressed her head into my shoulder.

We sat there for minutes…hours…hell it could have been days and I wouldn't have noticed the sun rising or setting. My stomach turned as she continued to sob. I could feel anger and hatred build in my pit. This girl should not be crying…especially over someone who didn't appreciate her. My arms tensed around her - holding her closer to me. I had the sudden urge to protect her…to shield her. She did not deserve this. She didn't deserve to cry. I could tell how much she loved and adored Maya but Maya's fits of distancing herself…it made her unworthy of Emily's devotion and I wasn't going to let it slide. I was tired of seeing the crushed look on her face. Even if I could never be with Emily, I was going to make damn sure Maya understood just how badly she had hurt her.


	8. Chapter 8

**HEY MY LOVES!**

**I hope you are all doing wonderfully! So sorry it's been a few days since I've written. I've taken a lot of time on this chapter and I've had some issues to home to attend with. However, It is here! I've gotten more reviews this time around! FABULOUS! KEEP THEM COMING!**

**Frombelow – remember, Emily is still deeply in love with Maya! So I doubt she would kiss Paige. I hope this is satisfactory for you! PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think!**

**OMG - AWWW THANK YOU! I hope I do just as well portraying Paige? I think that's what scares me the most. I have sat here and gone over youtube video after youtube video studying mannerisms and word usage… SO I hope it actually shows!**

**Guest – I have no idea how to address you other than 'guest' – but HERE I AM! CHAPTER 8! Sorry it took so long. Hopefully you can see the story grow here! And I hope you like it!**

**Del – you like the kat part? I put a lot of effort and focus into that. Paige has a past. Everyone has a past. I wanted to portray that here. I hope you enjoy this!**

**Ineheram - I think part of Paige's problem is feeling like she will be abandoned. It is really scary coming out and admitting you have those feelings for someone. I hope you like this a bit…she's coming to her senses a bit more!**

**Other guest – LOL there was two of you! Ya'll really need to put a nickname in so I can address ya'll! I'm glad you like the update! =D**

**Gloria – AWWW thanks! Your reviews always make me smile! I hope I made your day with this new one too!**

**Rain's mistress – well that was the point – making you gasp! Glad I did my job! I'm glad that you like this so far and so much that you have the alerts sent to you! Thanks for the homework! Guess you shall see what happens!**

**Artisall - I'm glad you are excited! I hope you enjoy how this comes together!**

**All right ya'll! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Hahaha. If you haven't, check out Burn My Skin. Many are asking if Burn My Skin is going to be all sex or if there's going to be some story – I think… I am going to throw some story in it – originally it was supposed to be a one-shot, but I think I'm going to turn it into a story. Just not sure how that's going to happen yet. But it will def be infused with sex. Writing smut clears my head to write other stuff. That's my smut page. LOL**

* * *

_It's freaking 9pm on a Friday night. Is there nothing on beside re-runs or My Little Pony?_

I had been flipping through the channels for a good 15 minutes.

_What is the point of having over 200 channels if not one damn station runs an acceptable show at 9pm?_ I quizzed the ether.

My parents were gone for the weekend – yet again and I was lying on my couch, still dressed in my running gear from my earlier workout, trying desperately to entertain myself. The past few days had been trying to say the least between additional swim practices, exams, projects and Emily's desperate attempts to talk to Maya. Every single time I thought of that name my gut churned. I was still undeniably pissed at her for causing Emily any amount of pain. Maya seemed to be fairly distant at school and for the most part Emily tried to shrug it off. I knew better though. They had planned to meet tonight to try and settle some things out. I hoped Maya had the sense of a billy-goat and she would realize what a fantastic girl Emily is – worth the wait and the distance. There just aren't that many amazing people out in the world – girl or guy – and Emily is one of those amazing few. Maya was lucky enough to have a person like her in her life…she needed to do everything she could to keep her.

The channel surfing finally settled on a re-run of Full house, although it was mainly background noise to accompany my internal conversation. My mind drifted off between Emily and Kat. I was so close to opening up about Kat to Emily but I couldn't bring myself to actually say it out load. Hell, I couldn't bring myself to truly admit it to myself. Kat always tried to get me to be the person I was and being around Emily and her friend was making it harder and harder to continue to be what I was 'supposed' to be. Emily's friends all seemed to have the freedom to choose who and what they were. I envied each of them greatly. I knew they all had some secrets hidden, but then again…who doesn't? Even after 3 days I hadn't taken off Kat's necklace and I wasn't planning on it. The only time it left my body was when I swam. I didn't want the chlorine to damage the sterling silver. I found myself subconsciously toying with the pendant at random times throughout the day. It was almost comforting…like a worry stone.

A low knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. I hadn't realized that a full hour had passed by and now a re-run of America's Funniest Home Videos was flashing across the LCD television. I stood up from the couch and walked quickly towards the front door. As I opened the dark, heavy, wooden door I saw her standing with a bag at her feet. Without a word, I picked up her bag and ushered her into the warmth. It had been raining all night and she was soaked. I checked to make sure her car was in the driveway – it was – and I closed the door behind us as I guided her to the couch. She fell into my arms as her sobs took over.

I couldn't believe it. Actually, I could. I knew I didn't like Maya for a reason and I'm usually a good judge of character. I comforted the weeping brunette as best as I could. We sat on the couch for nearly two hours – towards the end she laid lengthwise on the couch and rested her head in my lap as I ran my fingers through her long raven locks. Neither of us said a word the entire time. We had a mutual understanding of what happened – I could see it in her eyes and in her tears. The anger inside of me simmered – there would be a time and place to let it boil out of me, but right now…while Emily was hurting…was not that time. I felt her cries diminish and her breathing even out signaling to me that she had fallen asleep. I eased her head off my lap, stood up and scooped her sleeping form up into my arms. I carried her up the stairs and to my room and gently set her down on my bed.

I didn't want to let her sleep fully clothed…it wouldn't be comfortable in the least. For the first time as I looked down at her sleeping form, I noticed what she was wearing – a simple t-shirt and dark blue jeans that narrowed into her favorite pair of heeled boots. I gingerly set my hands down on her right boot and unzipped the side zipper before gently tugging at it – effectively pulling it off her bright blue sock-covered foot. I set the boot down on the floor and proceeded to repeat the process with the left boot. As I finished pulling off the other black boot and set it down, I realized that the jeans she was in were fairly tight, not to mention the belt she was wearing wouldn't be comfortable as she turned throughout the night. I walked over to my chest and pulled out a smaller pair of sleep shorts and set them down on the bed before stroking the girl's hair in an attempt to wake her.

"Emily…." I soothed.

I saw her eyes flutter open slightly.

"Hmm?" she murmured.

"We've gotta get you outta your jeans," I answered her unspoken question.

She groaned unhappily but tried to force herself to sit up regardless. I placed my hand on her mid back to help ease her into a sitting position. She fumbled sleepily with her belt and quickly became frustrated.

"Paige?" she urged – begging me to help her.

She was beyond frustrated – beyond tired. I took a deep breath and knelt down. Tentatively I reached out and pulled on the leather to undo the buckle. My hands were shaking greatly in the process. I looked up from my position and caught her eye. For a split second I swore I could see into her soul -she was so open and so broken. I smiled lightly at her – trying to comfort her – before looking back at my hands. Trembling fingertips slowly slide the metal button through the fastening hole and unzipped the small zipper. She laid back and began wiggling out of her jeans. I saw how difficult it was for her to push the jeans down her thighs and took pity. I started at her feet and began slowly pulling the dark heavy fabric off of her toned legs until they pooled at the floor. I quickly folded them and placed them on my chest of drawers.

"I forgot your bag downstairs, but I have a pair of smaller shorts here, okay?"

She nodded.

I felt so bad for getting her up but I couldn't accomplish changing her by myself. I knelt back down and guided her legs through their respective holes before easing the light fabric up her thighs. She lifted her ass off the bed slightly as I pulled the shorts the rest of the way up. After the shorts were in place, I aided her onto her side and lifted the blankets up from her form and laid them gently on top of her.

"Sleep now," I whispered as I turned and began walking towards the bedroom door.

"Paige?" She called out softly.

I turned on my heel and looked over at her.

"Can you…. Can you stay in here with me for a while? Just until I fall asleep?"

I smiled at her. I couldn't let her see how much this was all affecting me and I absolutely could not let her see how pissed off I was.

"Of course."

I walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down by the headboard – allowing my legs to stretch out in front of me. I twisted my upper body slight to allow my right hand play with her dark locks. I had noticed that she fell asleep quickly when her hair was played with – at least that's what made her fall asleep downstairs. As I combed my fingers through her hair, I felt a hand pull at mine and I let myself be guided. She wrapped my arm around her shoulders – forcing me to shift onto my side – and tucked my hand near the mattress under her chest.

The amount of focus and self-control that I had to exhibit would tire the energizer bunny. I counted silently in order to inhale and exhale in rhythm as I held her tightly to me. I was thankful that I had just sat atop the covers – they served as a barrier between Emily and me. Every excruciating moment that had passed made it more and more difficult for me to handle. A number of emotions overwhelmed me at the core. I wanted to keep her safe…happy... I wanted her to know how special she was.

_Fuck_. _Paige! What are you thinking? What are you doing? You can't….do you understand? You absolutely cannot allow this to turn into what you had or felt with Kat. Emily is special….yes. She is beautiful…yes. She is also an out lesbian and you…remember, you are straight even if that isn't what you feel inside. You have to be straight. It doesn't matter how you feel or what you want. If your father found out, he'd kill you. _

I felt her breath synchronize. I must have been in thought for a while – or she fell asleep really quickly. I slowly pulled my hand from hers and easily removed myself from her grip. I felt her shift slightly so I decided to keep myself pressed against her until she settled. Once I knew for certain she was situated, I rolled gently to my other side and stood up from the bed. I walked towards the door and when I opened the wood, I stood in the door frame for just a moment. I looked back at the sleeping figure nuzzling my favorite pillow. I felt the rage wash over me like chlorine infused water. My hands balled up in fists as my gut twisted. I felt sick. I turned and pulled the door – just shy of clicking shut – before I ran down the stairs.

I grabbed my running shoes and put them on quickly before taking some notebook paper from my back pack that was lying in the corner and writing Emily a note.

_Em,_

_Don't worry, I'm okay. I just wanted you to know that I'll be back soon. I have my phone on me if you should wake and need me. You know where everything is. Thank you for coming to me._

- _Paige_

I ran the paper back up stairs and crept into the room. I set it down on my nightstand that was closest to her before putting a comforting kiss on her head.

"Sleep well," I whispered.

With one last look at her, I softly closed the door. I re-ran down the stairs – my adrenaline and anger fueling my feet. I ensured the front door was locked and hurried out the back door. Even if I was in a hurry, I didn't need someone breaking in my house to find the one person that I cared about most – even if I couldn't fully admit to myself how much I cared about her. I lifted up the 'Welcome' mat at the entrance of the back door – making sure that the hide-a-key was still there. Satisfied that it was, I closed the heavy door before breaking out into a fuel-driven run.

I knew it was late. Real late. But I honestly didn't give a damn. The longer I ran the angrier I became. I recalled her face…her tears…her broken breath. With each image that flashed through my head, my anger transformed into rage. I always heard the phrase "Seeing red" yet until that night, I had not experienced it. However, at that particular moment, I sought blood.

As I reached my destination, I looked around to take in my surroundings. I saw a light on in the far room and a familiar silhouette at the window. I noticed a couple of rocks on the sidewalk so I knelt down and picked three up in my right hand. I made sure the petite shadow was still in the lit window before walking under it and tossing each rock separately at the window. The window opened and I saw her head poke out.

"Who's out there?" she called out annoyed.

"We need to talk!" I yelled.

"Paige?"

"Yea… can you come down?"

"I'm really not in the mood. Can this wait?"

"No. It's urgent."

I was glad in that moment that she couldn't see my body language. As sweet as my voice may have sounded, my facial expressions would have given my anger and detest away.

"Wait by the oak tree. I'll be out in a minute," she huffed.

I silently walked towards the large tree in her front lawn before I began pacing four to five steps in each direction. I couldn't remember a time when I was this angry. I gritted my teeth and rubbed my hands together roughly as I reminded myself to breathe.

"What is it that you wanted, Paige?"

Luckily I was faced away from her. I took a deep breath and turned around. Her petite dark form was standing barely four feet from me. She had on a tight black tank top and loose fitting blue pajama pants. She stood cockily with her arms crossed out in front of her. I noticed her hair was down and slightly frizzy. I guessed I caught her just as she was getting ready for bed.

_I have great timing_ I praised myself.

"Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to tell me what is so damn urgent?" She quipped.

My eyes met hers and I felt the rage consume me. Before I even realized what was happening my arm pulled back and then my fist connected with the flesh of her face. I heard her cry out as she landed –her body twisted – on the soft grass. I had internally wished it was concrete. She looked up at me and I held her gaze for a few moments – a silent threat being spoken – before I turned on my heel and began sprinting towards my house to safeguard a broken heart.

**LOVE YOU ALL**


	9. Chapter 9

**HEY ALL!**

**Sorry it's been a couple of days since I updated. Class started and I've been going CRAZY! Hopefully I can update every couple of days. I'm going to be going back and forth between this story and Burn My Skin – whichever one the muse hits me with is the one I'm going to write! I know, I've teased posting nearly daily! SORRY! This one isn't super super long, but I wanted to get it posted. REVIEW and let me know what you think! **

**OMG – aww yay! Well you didn't have to wait THAT long. Here it is! Hope you like!**

**Apl85 – HA! I bet it did!**

**Pamy – HAHA I'm working on it! Promise. School started so chapters aren't going to be updated daily, but I'll do it as soon as possible! I don't think Paige will break Emily's heart. I'm actually using writing fan fic in first person as practice… I want to write my own book in first person about a girl struggling with coming out. So let me know how you think I'd do! I'm SO glad you love Burn my Skin! It's my fun-piece!**

**Gloria – YES! There will be more paily scenes but I had to get some more Paige story in there. Just hang tight! I hope this helps quench a little.**

**Caylin – well, soon wasn't "now" but it is NOW! LOL I hope you enjoy! So glad you love the story! If you haven't, check out Burn My Skin!**

**Del – AWWW what do you think happened? I'm glad you can feel the anger – that's what I wanted. It killed me writing it!**

**Shawster – Yes…apparently, she punched Maya. LOL I wasn't originally going to have that - I was originally thinking of having her just yell, but this seemed more appropriate.**

**Fieke1993 – I'm glad you laughed! THAT'S AWESOME! I guess we'll see Em's reaction. AWWW I think that's one of the best compliments I've gotten so far! THANK YOU**

**Writing27 – I wasn't expecting it either. I was originally going to have Paige just go confront her, but as I was writing…well, it just sorta happened. I was surprised myself. I don't think Paige will do another violent thing unless its protecting Emily. But we'll see.**

**Psyro - me too, honestly! But as I wrote, it came out, so I guess my muse wanted Paige to hit Maya. LOL I'm glad you like how its going slow. I know its painfully slow for some people, but its realistic and that's what I want…realism. THANK YOU!**

**Rainsmistress- isn't she? I LOVE furious paige…just damn! LOL I don't think Nate is going to be in this, but maybe I could! We shall see! THANKS**

**Artisall – well, I updated as soon as possible! Hope you like! Let me know!**

**Okay ya'll, so I'm posting this just as I'm getting ready for bed! I'm going to go crash and I hope to see like 1000 reviews in my email when I wake up! If you haven't, check out BURN MY SKIN and let me know what you think of that!**

**GOODNIGHT!**

* * *

"Paige?" She called out as she began searching the room.

"I'm here."

She shifted on the bed to turn to face me. I could tell she was slightly disoriented and wasn't quite sure where she was. As a few moments passed, I saw realization cross her features. She reached for the piece of paper that was resting on the nightstand and before I could stop her, she had read the note. After she put the note back down, she scooted towards me and rested her head on my stomach, letting her arms wrap around my waist. My hands naturally began to comb through her silken strands. They were beyond soft even though I could still smell the rain that had drenched her before I brought her inside several hours ago.

Once I had gotten back from Maya's, I wasn't able to shake the anger that had festered inside of me. I had figured that running the 2 miles back to my house would have dissolved some of the adrenaline but in reality it didn't seem to faze it. After exhausting my body, I grabbed Emily's bag and made my way upstairs, but as I lay down in the bed, I couldn't to get to sleep. After about 20 minutes of staring up at the ceiling, I settled for sitting against the headboard and reading a book on my phone. I preferred hard copies of books but given the circumstance, I didn't want to chance waking the sleeping girl by turning on the small bedside lamp to read from the pages. My phone's LED light was enough to make me worry – so I kept the phone kinda close to my face and shielded the light with the palm of my hand.

"Why did you leave?" she asked curiously.

"Hmm?"

"Your note. You said you left. Why did you leave?"

I took a breath – I was scared to death to tell her the truth. I wasn't planning on cold-cocking Maya in the face… yelling – yes, hitting – no. Yet the cockiness of her voice, the arrogant way she stood and how she appeared to have no emotion or knowledge of 'why I was there' was enough for my instincts to completely take over and my fist connect with the flesh of her face. It was just like what the psychology teacher taught the previous week - Freud claimed we are animals driven by needs and instincts. When we feel threatened or have a need, our instincts will automatically kick in to survival mode. I guessed my instinct at that particular moment was to knock the hell out of Maya.

"Yea, I left for a few…" I trailed off.

She sat up slightly. "That doesn't sound good. What's wrong, Paige?"

"Nothing's wrong. I went for a run."

"And?" Dammit she knew there was more.

"And…don't be mad, okay?"

"Paige, what happened?" she asked softly. I could tell she was concerned but I was more afraid that concern was going to turn to 'pissed'.

"I saw Maya…"

"Oh," She interjected as she let her head tilt downwards.

"And..ummm…."

"What?" She lifted her head slightly and looked me in the eye. I could see the tears starting to form at her eyelids.

"Ikindapunchedher," I mumbled incoherently.

"Didn't catch that…"

"I kinda…um…hit her"

"Paige!" She yelled as she shot straight up and gaped at me.

We sat on the bed for a while…neither of us speaking. I couldn't tell whether she was angry or surprised or…what. I watched her intently but regardless of how much I tried to analyze her body language I still couldn't determine what emotions appeared on her face. She kept shaking her head like she was trying to rid her head of thoughts. I pressed a button on my phone forcing it to light up so I could check the time. It was just after 4am. She hadn't been asleep long and I knew that she needed more. I finally decided to speak up – I knew that she wasn't going to get any sleep with us just sitting like silent children.

"Emily…are you mad?"

I saw her peer at me through the curtain of hair that fell around her face. She appeared mad.

"Please don't be mad. I didn't mean to punch her…it just happened."

"Why did you go see her?" she asked – her head still tilted down. She had a hint of bitterness in her voice – or maybe it was annoyance…at that point I couldn't honestly determine the difference.

"I wanted to try to talk some sense into her. Try to figure out what is going on and tell her how angry I was with her for hurting you. Just when she came outside she seemed to have… I don't know… she didn't seem to think I had any reason for being there and didn't know why I would have showed up at her house after midnight. She was just cocky and before I even realized what had happened… I punched her." I took a deep breath as I saw Emily's head rise slightly. "And…and then I just sprinted back here. I did about 200 push-ups and after I exhausted myself, I came back into the room and just sat here while you slept."

"You are angry with her?" She sounded surprised.

_Why would she be surprised that I'm angry with Maya? Of course I'm angry with Maya. So angry I want to do more than punch her. I want her to regret hurting Emily with every fiber in her tiny ass body. _

"You don't want to open that flood gate, Em…" I could feel the tension in my stomach start again as my thoughts went into overdrive. I wanted to give her a small opportunity to just leave it because if I started talking I knew I wouldn't be able to stop.

"Just answer me."

"Yes, okay? I'm thoroughly pissed at her!" I yelled as I rose off the bed and began pacing in front of the foot board. She shifted her body so that she could watch my every move.

"She has this…this… amazing girl who would seriously do anything for her – okay? She's beautiful and smart and funny… and so because of a little obstacle…well, it's a large obstacle, but an obstacle is an obstacle… she just decides to withdrawal herself and be done. I've watched her for the past 3 weeks slowly pull away from you and it's been so hard not to just…kick her teeth. She's hurting you and you haven't done anything wrong!"

I stood directly in front of the bed and looked at her. "If I was so lucky to have someone like you, I'd never let them go!" I stopped to catch my breath. I knew I was yelling and I didn't mean to, but the situation just pissed me off. "So…yea… I'm a little mad," I chuckled having released all of my pent up tension.

Her eyes were so open and inviting. I could look into them forever. She slowly extracted herself from the bed and walked towards me. My heart was pounding out of my chest – so hard I thought my ribs would break. I pretty much had just told her I liked her, but I hoped she didn't catch on. That was the last thing she needed at this moment. She stood directly in front of me…I could see all the pain, all the concern, all the love in her eyes. Our friendship had grown and I knew she felt for me as a friend – and that was fine. That is how I felt for her…that is how I made myself feel for her, anyhow.

"What did I do to deserve such a good friend? One who cares about me so much?"

"Emily…Spencer, Hanna and Aria would have done the same thing."

"No… I don't think they would. I trust those girls with my life. They are like my sisters. But they are all kinds wrapped up in their own thing right now. I couldn't have just shown up at their door and knew they'd be home. If I called them, they would come running- but they wouldn't be home if I just knocked on the door. You were. Why?"

"I was just home," I lied.

"But why were you home, Paige?"

"I knew that you were seeing Maya and I wanted to make sure I was here…ya know… just in case you needed me," I admitted.

"You stayed home on a Friday night…in case I needed you?" She asked confirming what I had just said.

All of my shields immediately tumbled down at the way her eyes pierced through me. "Yes," I breathed.

I felt her arms wrap around my waist and she pulled me towards her – my arms naturally engulfing her. Everything felt right when she was here – in my arms. I felt that I could protect her from everything that could possible hurt her and in a strange way I felt safe myself. I clenched my eyes shut, reminding myself to breathe. Even though feeling her in my arms was so natural and comforting, it was also tortuous. It reminded me of what never could be. What I never could allow to be.

Several moments passed before she eased the embrace. I nearly thought she had fallen asleep standing up. Her eyes caught mine and I could see they were flooded with exhaustion. She had only slept a few hours before waking up to find out that I had just put a right hook into her ex-girlfriend's face.

"Let's get you back to bed, okay?"

"Yea… I'm really really tired."

"Go figure…" I said, my eyebrows rising slightly.

"Oh, shush."

I walked behind her and tossed the blankets down so she could easily get in. She side stepped back towards the mattress but ended up tripping over her boot that was next to the foot of the bed. I reached out my arms and caught her mid-fall. As my arms cradled her, our eyes met. Our faces were a hairs breadth apart. I could feel her breath on my lips. The merciless pounding in my chest resumed as she gazed into me. My knees began trembling. I worked so hard to be straight…to be the perfect heterosexual daughter my father always told me I was – or would be if I valued my life – but here I was… catching the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and all I could think about was kissing her.

I quickly pulled her up so she was vertical. "Careful," I whispered. I lightly held her wrist so I could guide her to the bed – and make sure that she was steady. I swear I could feel an increased pulse from her wrist's pulse point. It confused me. If she was so in love with Maya, then why would her heart rate quicken because of me? I figured it was perhaps a rebound feeling… she knew that I cared about her – deeply – and she probably was just jarred from the near-fall.

After ensuring she was in bed safely, I climbed into my side of the bed and lay on my side facing her. I felt her eyes upon me – so after I finished pulling up the covers I looked in her direction. Some of her hair had fallen into her face, so I took my outside hand and gingerly pushed the stray strands behind her ear.

"You doing okay?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Not really, but this helps."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not really."

"Em… I'm sorry I punched Maya…"

I heard her inhale deeply. "I don't like the idea of you hitting her… but… at the moment I am just too tired to be angry. Maybe tomorrow I will scold you."

I swore I saw a small smile graze her lips. "Deal."

"Seriously, Paige… I still love her. Please… don't hit her again."

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise Promise."

"Promise Promise?" She asked confused.

"It's a promise so great that it has to be said twice."

That time, I knew I saw her smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey Everyone!**

**I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend so far! I had some time this morning and as I started working on Burn My Skin, my muse hit me and everything for In This Life just sorta hit me…so I figured I would write a bit – ended up finishing it! The chapter, not the full story! LOL I hope everyone likes this! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! Hopefully I'll have Burn My Skin up today or tomorrow. Having a bit of a struggle with it, but now that I feel I've gotten to a better place with this story, I can probably go and work on it!**

**OTHangels – AWWWW YAY thank you! I'm glad you like the flow. I didn't want it to be too choppy or too dragged out! I also wanted to take Paige and Emily's relationship a little slow – more realistic I hope you like this! Let me know!**

**Del – I think a lot of people wanted to see Maya punched. LOL but then I get hate from all the Emaya fans…can't please everyone – o well. LOL I hope you like this though!**

**Apl85 – AWWW that's what I love to hear! Music to my ears!**

**Pamy – Awww… Thank you for sacrificing and trying to read it! I know like minimal Spanish. But I'm glad you like everything!**

**Insomatic-studios - just wait… LOL**

**Dirtyprettyliars – YAY! I love when people are hooked!**

**Fieke1993 – I'm completing blushing. LOL I TRY my hardest to stay close to the characters. I watch a lot of youtube videos – studying words and movements. At least both girls are REALLY easy on the eyes. LOL I'm working on Burn My Skin…so just sit tight. Should be epic.**

**Artisall – AWWW I'm glad you are in love with it! YAY… that makes me happy!**

**RainsMistress - I have to keep you on edge! That's my job as a writer! I'm glad you love it!**

**Okay ya'll! Well, I'm going to head off, find something to eat and possibly watch the Hunger Games! I'll hopefully have Burn My Skin up first.**

**HOMEWORK - I want you to tell me about homecoming! (for those of you outside of the US who do not know what homecoming is – it's a large formal high school dance). What should Paige wear? What should Emily wear? What should the theme be? Should Paige get a limo to take Emily to the dance? Answer these questions and give me your other comments about what you think their homecoming date should look like! After party?**

**LOVE YOU ALL!**

* * *

"This is the life," she sighed.

"Tell me about it," I confirmed.

It had been a rather abnormal autumn. It was October 13th – a Saturday – and it was still fairly warm outside. My parents decided that they wouldn't drain the pool until it was absolutely necessary…which only meant they expected me to spend every waking moment in the pool as usual. For the past 3 weeks it seemed as if my parents were home Monday thru Thursday and gone Friday thru Sunday – which honestly made me happy. I felt like I lived alone and it absolutely did not bother me.

Emily and Maya hadn't spoken since she showed on my doorstep. She was getting better – she still had a couple crying jags every so often but she was slowly getting back to being 'Emily'. I saw her start to communicate better with her friends – opening up about what happened with her and Maya as well. It was still a rarity if I didn't see her after school. We had spent the past three weeks bouncing back and forth between her house and mine. I had met her mom a couple of times – she reminded me so much of Emily. They both had the same intense eyes. She was much different than I had expected – much different from my own mother. Emily and I had spent most of our time talking and learning new things about one another as well as studying. When we went to my house, we spent a lot of time in the pool – both training and simply goofing off.

This weekend was a particularly hard weekend for Emily – Maya was leaving. Even though they hadn't spoken in weeks, Emily's feelings for Maya were still ever-present. I had hoped that they would diminish quickly because Maya didn't deserve Emily's tears but I knew she had to go through the motions. I was doing my best to try to keep her mind off of the date since morning …and so far, it appeared to be working. After breakfast we decided to watch a movie and then since it was bright and warm outside, we took a swim. After much wrestling, dunking, splashing and play fighting, we both landed on separate rafts - relaxing as the water of the pool cradled us and the sun beat down on our skin.

"Paige?"

"Hmm?"

I was barely conscious by that point. The warmth of the sun and the breeze of the wind was enough to rock me to sleep. I hadn't been sleeping so well the past week. Mid-term exams were approaching and the swim meets were becoming more and more intense. Emily and I had been meeting in the morning to time each other an hour before regular practice began. There were many times that we had accidently fallen asleep at each other's place. Thankfully, our parents had exchanged numbers after the first incident. My father told Emily's mom that as long as I was studying while I was over there, he didn't see a problem with me sleeping over. I had guessed it was just one less thing that he and my mom had to 'deal with'.

"What…what are you…um…doing next Saturday night?" she asked hesitated.

I couldn't figure out why she was so tentative in asking me what I was doing.

"Probably swimming, studying…you know the usual. I thought maybe if you weren't doing anything again we could maybe go with the girls and go see a movie or something?" Suddenly I was nervous. Did she not want to hang out anymore? I was probably boring her to death. "If…If you have plans, that's okay too. I don't want you to feel obligated to hang out with me," I interjected quickly.

"Oh no! Paige, I love hanging out with you. I don't feel obligated!"

"Oh…well, that's good!" I chuckled. "So what's up?"

"I...uh…" she exhaled slowly. "I bought tickets for homecoming for me…and um…Maya but you know… that… anyway, I know that you're straight and all, but I thought maybe…you know… you'd like to go with me – just as friends. But like everyone else is going to have their dates and I just…I don't want to be alone."

I sat up on my raft and used my forearms to paddle towards her. When I reached her raft, I saw she had sat up as well. I grabbed one of her hands with mine. "I'd love to go with you. I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind. I'll just tell him we are both going so instead of taking separate cars, we were going to just take one. He likes the idea that I have a good friend that keeps me on my toes. He really likes you."

She smiled widely and I let go of her hand with a gentle pat. I had become more comfortable around her in the past few weeks. Even though I was more relaxed around her, I was scared out of my mind. What did being comfortable around her – like this – mean? When she was around my heart rate would automatically quicken… when she was in my 'bubble' my breath would slow – sometimes so much that I had to consciously remember to inhale and exhale. The more and more comfortable I became around her, the more questions arose within me along with anger and resentment. I resented myself and my parents for making me conform into a box of what they had expected of me – well, my parents some, but mostly myself. I was so scared that if I allowed myself to be who I've denied I was for years then they would disown me or worse – move us so I'd never see Emily again.

"Guess we better get you a dress…" her voice broke through my internal ramble.

"A what?"

"A dress."

"Ummm… I don't wear dresses."

"You do now."

"Can't I just go in like…jeans and a dress top?"

"Paige!" She laughed. "It's a formal."

"Oh."

"Come on, it won't be _that_ bad," she giggled.

"How about you let me worry about what I'm going to wear…and I won't see yours either. That way we can just be surprised," I suggested.

"Hmm… like a date?" she winked playfully at me.

For some reason, my cheeks flushed a brilliant red. _Is that what I want? A date with Emily? No no no. Paige, you can't go down this road._

"Uhh…" I couldn't find the words to combat what she had thrown out there.

"Relax. I'm kidding."

"Oh…okay…" I said acting relieved, though I really didn't know whether I was relieved or not.

"It's just… I don't think I'm ready to go out and look for dates again. Not…not yet. I mean, I've never sought out a relationship with a girl. Maya was my first and only girlfriend and she came to me. I wasn't even that good with trying to seek out guys. But, I guess if someone came along and we really just clicked then I would be okay…well, take it slow or something, but I don't think I'm ready to actually get out there and start looking, you know?"

"I understand. You don't have to explain to me."

"I do, though. See, the thing is Paige, I'm really comfortable around you. More comfortable than I've been around anyone – aside from Maya. Sometimes, I actually think I'm more comfortable and relaxed around you than I was _with_ Maya. It's so weird to me. I can just be myself around you. But…you're straight."

"Yea… I'm straight," I mumbled and hung my head.

"Paige?" Emily saw my body language and her concern was very evident in her voice.

I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. The internal battle I had been fighting for years was beginning to consume me. I couldn't fight any longer. I didn't have the strength.

"Are you okay? What did I say?" Her voice was almost fearful.

"Can we go up to my room? I'll tell you, but not here."

"Sure. Come on," she agreed as she slid off the side of her raft and into the pool.

I followed. The water engulfed me and it felt so good around me. My arms cut through the cool liquid as I swam to the edge. I couldn't believe I was actually going to tell her my deepest secret. She had entrusted me with so much and I felt like I was lying to her for so long, but I wasn't really lying to her…I was lying to myself. After lifting myself out of the pool, I grabbed the towel that I had set on one of the lounge chairs and walked towards the house as she trailed behind me closely.

Once we got to my room, I closed the door. Even though nobody was home, I didn't want to chance my parents coming home a day early and hearing everything I was about to admit. She sat down on my bed – using the towel to dry her soaked mane. I walked to my closet and found two tank tops. I threw one to her and pulled the second one over my head before adjusting the bottom of the tank over my wet swim top. I made my way to the other side of the bed and rested my back against the inside of the footboard. She shifted back so she was sitting cross-legged and facing me. We weren't touching but if either of us moved our legs, our skin would rub. That knowledge made my insides tremble.

"I don't even know how to say this…" I began.

"Take your time," she soothed.

"I just… I've never admitted this – to myself or anyone else – and I'm almost afraid you will run away after you hear it." My face fell into my hands.

"Paige, look at me…"

I lifted my head and caught her eyes.

"Just tell me."

"I think…." I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. This was Emily. I could tell her anything. I was safe with her. I knew I was safe with her, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"You remember my friend…that was killed?"

She nodded.

"Well…"

I walked over to my desk and took out my 'journal' before opening it and grabbing the note that Kat had written me last year. I sat back down on the bed and handed the note to Emily. I watched her as she read each word slowly – taking in everything the note had to say.

"You loved her." It was more of a statement than a question.

Expelling all of the air in my lungs, I nodded slowly closing my eyes. "yes."

"And she died?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Car crash. I was with her. I lived and she…" I trailed off.

I saw Emily nod in understanding.

"You like girls?"

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't find the words, so I closed my mouth again and simply looked at her for a moment. Finally, I mustered every last ounce of courage I could find in myself.

"I don't know. I mean… I loved her and there's only been one other since but… I'm so confused. All my life I was told that I needed to marry a successful businessman like my father. But honestly, I find most of the guys that I meet repulsive. I've kissed a couple of guys, but it felt so phony. Like, it's not me. The only place I've ever felt right was with Kat and with…" My words dropped off. I felt my gut twist. I couldn't tell her. I didn't even know what I was telling her.

"And with?" She pressed.

"You."

"Me?"

I twisted my body and sank my head into my comforter. I heard her sigh lightly.

_Well at least she isn't running. That's a good sign_.

I was surprised to feel her hand on my shoulder. Her simple touch scorched my skin.

"Paige…"

I took a deep breath of courage and rose up off of the comforter. She eyes sought mine and once they locked, I felt a burning inside of my core. The intensity made me physically tremble. I had just admitted that I was previously in love with a girl and that I was attracted to her. I felt tears well up in the corners of my eyes before they escaped slowly down my cheeks one at a time. My insides felt like they were going to burst with emotion. I searched her eye for comfort and found the safest of spaces in her arms as she scooted closer towards me and guided my head to her shoulder before embracing me tightly. She held me as I shook –overcome with emotion and admittance.

She held me for such a long time as she soothed me. The two lonely tears that had trickled down my cheeks had transformed into many. I could feel her fingers comb through my hair as she softly whispered "it's okay" and "you're safe" in my ear. As my sobs turned into merely breathing, I felt a weight lifted off of me. I was still scared beyond anything I had ever been, but I had Emily. I didn't know if this meant I was gay or bisexual or straight. All I knew is I was just…Paige. She eased her embrace and as she pulled back her fingers rested on my chin. She eased my chin upwards and gazed deeply in my eyes. Just as before, I thought I could see her soul. She was always so open with me.

My eyes trailed down her face and rested on her lips for a brief moment before journeying back up to her dark orbs. Her fingers shifted so that her entire hand was holding me chin and before I could react I felt the faintest touch of silk press against my lips.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey all my lovies! I hope you all had an AMAZING weekend. I know most of ya'll are sleeping and getting ready to wake up here soon. I wrote this over the weekend but I didn't want to post it until I figured a good chunk of people got to read chapter 10. So This is chapter 11 and…a good start to your Monday!**

**There IS homework. I get like 400+ visitors a day. SOOOO All Ya'll that are normally silent – this is your chance! ALL I want – what should Paige wear to homecoming? A tux mirroring what she did at the Season 2 Finale ORRRR a dress? If you want to elaborate – please do. This is YOUR time to have a chance to see what YOU want. So please post a review and let me know! YOU decide! Also, you could decide what happens at homecoming – all you have to do is let me know your thoughts and opinons!**

**Dayabieberxo - I'm SOOOO glad that you loved chapter 10! I hope you like this one too!**

**Insomatic-studios – YAY! Well, here you go! Enjoy!**

**Kale – well, I did have it written but I knew I wouldn't be writing much today and I wanted to give everyone something for their Monday! I hope you have a great day!**

**Rain'smistress – You may have to wait a few for chapter 12, but I try to post a decent bit on my days off. I hope you love!**

**Lumu – YAY! I think this chapter – chapter 11 is my personal favorite so far. There's a lot in it. I hope you enjoy!**

**Hopeandpray – AWWW thanks! You have no idea what "I'm addicted" means to me! And I'm glad that you think I've got the character's spot on! That means a lot coming from my readers! If you haven't, check out my other story – Burn My Skin. Let me know what you think of that!**

**Psyro – I know! Right? I was soooo scared for her as I was writing! LOL**

**Okay ya'll READ REVIEW! Tell someone about it! I LOVE YOU ALL!**

* * *

"Wow," I breathed - my chest heaving up and down slightly. My eyes were still closed but I could tell that her lips mirrored the smile that was plastered on my face. My brain was swarming with a million different thoughts – all revolving around Emily and that kiss. It was barely there but it made my breath stop and my heart break out of my chest.

I felt her lips press against mine for a second time – a little firmer than before. She first took my bottom lip between hers and held it for a moment before releasing it and repeating the same captive hold to my upper lip. Her hand moved from my chin to hold the side of my face gently. As she moved to recapture my bottom lip, I parted them slightly and let her top lip rest between mine. She gently sucked on the sensitive flesh that she held captive. My hands moved from her shoulders to the sides of her hair as hers found their way to the back of my head – securing my lips to hers for a brief moment before parting our lips and letting her hands trail down my neck to rest on my bare upper arms.

I had to force myself to breathe but I still wouldn't open my eyes. I was afraid if I opened them then everything would disappear and it would solely be a dream – like it had been for weeks. The trembling sensation that had yet to leave my body transferred in reasoning for being there – I was no longer scared or overwhelmed because of admitting something that could change my entire life but rather I was nervous of what that kiss meant and completely overtaken by how powerful a simple kiss was.

"Paige? Are you okay?"

I licked my lips before forcing myself to speak. "I'm afraid if I open my eyes, it'll all be a dream."

Three delicate finger tips trailed along the side of my face. "I promise I will still be here if you open your eyes."

I took a deep breath and let my eyes flutter open. I saw her sitting before me – her dark orbs focused in on me and a slight smile gracing her perfect face. My cheeks flushed profusely and I broke our gaze by moving my head down. Massive butterflies took up a permanent residence in my gut.

"What did I tell you about hiding your face from me?"

I clenched my eyes tightly for a brief moment before recapturing her gaze. I felt as if for the first time someone was actually looking into me. As if it was the first time someone saw _me_ - not the athlete, not the perfect daughter or the perfect student, not the lies that I had repeatedly told myself and other around me….just me…Paige McCullers. My fingers left her hair and they moved up to my lips. I still felt the tingle of the kiss on the nimble flesh. We sat there simply gazing into each other's eyes for several moments while my breathing returned to normal.

In all the time I was consumed with how the kiss affected me, I didn't notice how it affected her until I noticed my breathing had returned to normal and hers had not. I could see a flush spread across her chest and her face. Her eyes were intensely looking straight into me and I couldn't avert her piercing stare. She licked her lips before parting them to speak.

"That was amazing."

I slowly nodded my head to agree. Words could not express what that kiss felt like to me – it was beyond amazing, beyond eye-opening, beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. It was also very confusing and very intimidating. I had no idea where to go from here or what to do about it. What did it mean about Emily's and my friendship?

"What's wrong?" she asked as if she had read my mind - more accurately she probably read my facial expressions.

"I just… What does this mean?" I asked.

"It means whatever you want it to mean," she assured.

"I don't even know…" I trailed off.

"Listen to me. I'm here. However you need me to be. You're my friend first and foremost and you won't lose that, okay?"

"O…okay. It's just…"

"A lot to take in?"

"Yea…"

"I've been there, remember?"

I nodded.

"Am I gay?" I asked her almost fearfully.

"I can't answer that. Only you can," she replied. "And you don't have to decide that right now, Paige. This is all so huge. I mean, three hours ago I thought you were the straightest person on Earth and then I come to find out that you…may be a little 'less straight'."

"That's a good way to put it…'less straight'," I added chuckling a tad.

"You can figure out the details later. Right now, the only thing that matters, is how you feel," she placed her hand on my heart and continued, "in here."

I covered her hand with mine and curled my fingers around hers. "I feel so much…"

She tilted her head and smiled in understanding. "So tell me. Talking helps…. Wait…. Hang on."

I looked at her curiously but she just smiled and held up her index finger indicating 'just one moment'. She moved the pillows at the top of the bed from lying flat to lying against the headboard and she scooted into the center of the bed but leaned against the dark wood. She spread her legs somewhat and patted the space between them.

"Come here," she instructed.

I crawled over towards her and turned around so that my back was pressed against her – my head lying against her chest. Her arms wrapped around me - her hands finding mine. She began lightly stroking the insides of my palm with her fingers.

"Better?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Okay…so now talk," she said giving the top of my head a light kiss.

"I'm afraid that everything will change."

"It will. But that doesn't mean it will be for the worse."

"Can I tell you something without you hating me?

"I could never hate you, Paige."

"You know what I mean…"

"Tell me anything. I'm not going anywhere," she reassured me.

"When Kat and I were best friends and after….the accident I…I…I used to hurt myself because I felt so alone and I felt so fake," I admitted breathing deeply.

"Used?"

"Yea…I haven't in a while…"

"When did you stop?" she asked tightening her hold around my middle.

"When I met you. It was… it was the first time I felt like I wasn't alone. When I found out about you and…her, it brought up all of these feelings that I had had when Kat was alive but I never acknowledged or acted upon. You made me feel so comfortable just being who I was."

She stayed silent and just listened to me intently as she continued to toy with my palm or the skin of my wrists.

"When I asked you how you came out, I was searching for something…maybe answers…reassurance… that if I ever did decide that I wanted to…come out…that I wouldn't completely lose everything I had built. You were the first person that I had ever met that could even possibly relate to how I was feeling. Kat's parents were so liberal it wouldn't have mattered to them if she was gay. Hell, it wouldn't have mattered to them if she dated a purple elephant – they would have thought she was making some big political statement."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Where did you…?" she trailed off.

I took a deep breath and removed my hands from hers. I gingerly held the ends of my tank top – being sure to grasp the swim tank as well and I lifted them both up about four inches. I guided her hand to my stomach where the scars could still be felt. I used a lot of scar-cream so that the red lines vanished quickly, but it didn't actually take away the scar tissue. Her fingertips traced every line along my toned stomach before easing my shirt back down and securing her arms around my middle – pulling me even more tightly into her.

"No more," she commanded.

"No more."

"You have me now, you don't need this."

"I know. I haven't since coming here and meeting you. I've…I've thought about it…but I haven't done anything."

I felt her relax after I told her that I hadn't harmed myself recently.

"I don't know what I want…but I know what I don't want…"

"What don't you want?"

"I...I don't want to lose my family. I don't want to continue to be someone I'm not. And…most importantly, I don't want to go back to being 'just friends' with you..." I admitted. "It's been so torturous knowing that I couldn't touch you or kiss you… every time you would come close to me I nearly fainted. But…I also know I can't give you anything right now. I don't have anything to offer you. I can't come out to my parents yet. I just am barely coming out to myself…and the person I trust the most. And…and that's not fair to you. It's not fair of me to ask you to hide or be isolated."

"Why don't you let me decide what's fair for me?"

"Fair enough… "

"Paige, listen to me…"

I shifted in her arms so that I could look up at her.

"I'm not asking you to announce to the world that you kiss girls. I'm not even asking you to announce it to the neighborhood. All I'm asking you is to not hide from me. We can take everything else one step at a time. I'm not ashamed of who I am, but I used to be. I am afraid that if I hide for too long, I may start to feel that way again. But, I am willing to try if you are. I'll be here while you figure some things out but eventually, I'm going to need you to make some steps in coming out – even if it's just at school with our friends."

I nodded in understanding.

"I'm not saying it has to be tomorrow…just eventually."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yea… okay. Will you hold my hand? I'm scared, Emily."

She leaned down and captured my lips for a brief moment in a tender, promising kiss that left me completely breathless. Even when she pulled away my eyes remained closed for a moment as I cherished the kiss that was left on my lips. I opened my eyes to see her smiling down at me.

"I'm not going anywhere, Paige," she confirmed kissing my forehead.

I reveled in the feeling of her lips pressed against me as I shifted to my previous position. I turned the tables and began letting my fingers trace the insides of her palm. I loved the feeling of her skin beneath my fingertips.

"So what now?" I asked. I literally had no idea what the next step was.

"What do you mean?"

"Are we friends? Are we something more? How do I know what I'm allowed to do and what I'm not? Do we need to sleep in separate beds now?"

"I should hope not."

I blushed.

"We are Emily and Paige. Just what we've always been. No titles, no commitments. I'm not going anywhere but I know you need time and to be honest, I'm still getting over Maya. It still hurts…what she did."

"Emily and Paige… can it be Paige and Emily? I like how that sounds better…," I smiled.

I felt her laugh and her hands flew to my sides and began tickling me relentlessly. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.

"Okay…okay…okay…" I yelled trying to catch my breath. "Emily and Paige."


	12. Chapter 12

**HI MY LOVIES!**

**Did you miss me? Please say yes! Okay – so this is what I was talking about…that posts may be slower. I am in the middle of my first full week of school and I'm trying to get acclimated to my new schedule – OMG am I tired. However, I am able to write at work! The posts are going to be less frequent, but they should be longer. I am also in the process of writing a chapter for Burn My Skin – so keep watch for it. It's going to be good!**

**It isn't homecoming yet – so if ya'll haven't participated in the poll/homework assignment – now's the time! If you have no idea what I'm talking about…. Here's a refresher! Homecoming is YOUR time. You decide what Paige wears – a dress or a tux. LOL So let me know!**

**Callie – hi darling! This one if for you! If you need another fix, check out Burn My Skin if you haven't. =)**

**Del – AWWW I'm so glad you liked it! YAY. It warms me!**

**Pamy – So GLAD! I'm so happy you love it! I'm curious to see what my brain prepares too! Cause at the moment, I haven't a clue!**

**Gloria – I know! They finally kissed. When I wrote that I felt so giddy! LOL Thank you so much for the encouraging words! It means so much to me!**

**Guest – O yay! I'm so glad you like the stories! Thanks for reading!**

**Rlnapier87 – AWWW yay! I'm so glad! Idk if you know, but I have another story out too – called Burn My skin. Check it out, lemme know!**

**Othangels – THANKS!**

**Natmaria – haha! Well, we shall both see! O yay! I love you for loving the story!**

**Dayabieberxo - NOTED! Keep reading!**

**Insomatic-studios - =) you will darling. You will. Keep your head love sweetheart.**

**Fieke1993 – This is the Emily I expected too – which is why I wanted to portray that! AWWW I think that's the best compliment I've ever received! I didn't even try to get them together. I hadn't planned on them getting together for a few more chapters but my muse just said "it's time" and I just wrote. I'm so thankful everyone loves it so far! And Noted!**

**Savethenerds – I agree…. I love that build up. Just wait for the build up before the first time they are 'together'…. You're going to be dying!**

**Brittga24 – well, most lesbian relationships are more cautious than just "you're a girl, I'm a girl…lets make out". LOL I'm glad you love them!**

**Rain'smistress – YAY! I'm so glad you like!**

**Perfect – I don't believe that I caught you on the Chapter 11 post… so I figured I might as well do it here! I'm SO glad that you love it! It means so much to me! Keep reading!**

**Okay everyone! HAVE FUN! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

* * *

"Aria!"

"Hey you guys! Spencer and Hanna are already inside. Where have you been?"

"Sorry!" Emily apologized looking over at me. "We got…caught up."

"We better get in!" Aria exclaimed excitedly.

I followed Emily and Aria into the crowded building. Emily had insisted that I needed to 'get out' and the girls had invited her to an 'underground band' concert. We pushed our way to the front of the crowd and found Spencer and Hanna up towards the front of the stage.

"Hey! Em - where have you been?" Spencer asked loudly. "We've been here for like an hour."

"Sorry! Paige and I started talking and we lost track of time."

"Love the shirt, Paige! You look hot!"

"Thanks…I think…."

"A group of five hot girls…we can take over the world!" Hanna exclaimed and we all chuckled.

I loved watching Emily interact with her friends and I was so thankful that I was accepted into the group almost immediately. I had never had good friends until this school – at least not this many. Kat and I had a small group that included Amanda and Ryan but we weren't as close knit as this group was with each other. These girls had a way of making me feel like I could relax – the same way Emily made me feel. I had no doubt that when I felt ready to tell them that I was 'less straight' than expect, they would still accept me with open arms.

As the opening band began playing, the bass of the music beat deeply in my chest. I had never been so close to a stage before and I honestly had no idea how Emily and her friends got all of us this close. I hadn't been to many concerts before. I was at Toby Keith concert with my mother once and the only other concerts I had been to was underground bands with Kat and thinking about the last concert I went to left a pang in my chest.

The headliner-Taking Back Sunday- graced the stage. I honestly never had heard the band before, but Hanna and Aria had and at lunch earlier this week they had invited Spencer, Emily and I to go. The guitar riffs filled any silent void and I felt the beat reverberate through me - melding with my pulse. Hanna and Aria were screaming at the top of their lungs as soon as the music began.

"He's so hot!" Hanna cried to us.

All I could do was smile. I couldn't really agree with her. I honestly didn't see the appeal of the lead singer...or any of the band members. That was probably because not only did I not find guys attractive, but Emily was standing so close to me - our shoulders touching and I swore electricity was shooting through my body along with the vibrations of the music. How could I think about anyone else when she was so near? Not to mention she kept glancing over at me - beaming every time she looked over. My heart would beat faster and faster every time her dark, entrancing eyes caught mine- which was quite often since I locked gazes with her every time she would look my way.

"You doing okay?" she asked in my ear as she leaned into me.

I could feel her hot breath on me and it made me shiver.

I nodded my head and leaned into her ear, 'Yea! They're really good!"

"Dance with me!"

I looked at her with an anxious expression.

"What if someone sees?"

She held my gaze for a moment before leaning back to my ear, "it'll be okay. Look around...everyone is dancing with and near everyone. I'll even put you between Hanna and me... no one will even notice! Okay?"

As she pulled away, I searched her eyes for sincerity. I saw her nod over to a group of girls - much like us - having fun and all dancing with one another. They seemed to just be having a lot of fun. I couldn't tell the difference whether they were with each other or just really good friends.

"Okay! Yea! Let's do it!" I yelled over the music.

She beamed at me right before grabbing my hand and dragging me the few feet to where Hanna, Aria and Spencer were dancing. Hanna and Aria seemed to really know how to dance and completely let the music over take them. Spencer kinda reminded me of a scarecrow - while she moved with the music, she seemed to have a pole up her back keeping her right side up. She was having fun, but I could tell she was a lot like me in one area - she didn't know how to just let go.

I wanted to let go so badly. To learn what it felt like just to be...to do things before thinking about them. I had made it a point to remind myself that one day...I would do just that. I would let go and just let myself feel. I was already starting to. Before, I would have never have agreed to dance between a couple of girls - in fact, I would never have agreed to go out to a concert in the city with the girl I liked. I had been out numerous places with Kat - but that was different. Actually, no. Emily was different. Emily made me feel things Kat never did. I never truly felt safe with Kat the way I did with Emily. Kat always tried to get me to be a daredevil but Emily... Emily always looked for ways to reassure me - to make sure I was okay both mentally and physically.

Emily swung me around so I was between her and Hanna - Aria was at one side and Spencer was kinda off towards Aria's outer side. I closed my eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. The day I was going to let loose...that was today. As I reopened my eyes and locked eyes with Emily, I threw my hands up and let my body move with the music. The longer Emily and I danced to the continuous upbeat sounds, the more confident and the freer I felt myself become. Emily's eyes never left mine- I could see she was comforting me as we danced... silently telling that it was 'okay' and that I was safe.

She looked so amazing and so incredibly sexy dancing there beside me. I wondered what she would look like dancing at a club. The music streaming out of the large speakers was more alternative/rock... sure you could dance to it but dancing to alternative/rock was more of a 'jump up and down/throw up your hands/sway your body' type of a dance. Just seeing how free-spirited she was as she moved with the music - her hands high in the air, her perfect lips singing the words of the song.

The concert continued and we all had a blast. Dancing...jumping...singing...screaming...Hanna going crazy over the lead singer...Aria checking out the guitarist... And then, there was Emily. The girl who just hours before I admitted all of my secrets to. The girl who didn't run away but instead ran towards me. The girl who- despite all of my inner babble of 'why she would never be with me' -surprised me by kissing me only four hours ago. It was the best night of my life.

Emily found any and every excuse to discretely touch me. Though every touch was electric, my subconscious brain realized that she would only brush against me or touch my hand briefly as a way of reassuring me and continuing to comfort me. She never did it where people could see - and the fact that she understood I needed time...especially after literally just admitting all of this to her and myself, meant the world to me. She wasn't pushing me to do anything I didn't want to do. I could only hope that she would continue to understand in the upcoming weeks...months...years. I wasn't sure what was going to happen or even who I was - I just knew who I wasn't. The only two things that felt right in my life were intertwined...swimming and Emily. That was enough for me.

An hour and a half later and we all walked out of the venue - hot and sticky from sweat. Hanna was able to get us backstage to meet the band - even Spencer fawned over them. I appeared 'dazed' according to Aria, but the reason was not because of who we met...it was because of who was standing so close to me and who kept gently caressing the outside of my fingers.

"Hungry?" Aria asked the group - pulling me from my thoughts.

"Starved!" Spencer admitted.

"You guys?" Aria asked looking in our direction.

"I could eat," I said.

"Yea...me too," Emily added.

"Han?"

"Pizza?" Hanna asked excitedly pointing to a pizza joint across the street that was still open.

There was a chorus of agreements as we walked across.

"How you doing?" Emily asked me quietly.

"I'm okay," I assured her.

She smiled at me and I thought I was going to melt.

Two large Veggie Supreme pizza's later and we all were on our way back to Rosewood. The other girls had carpooled in Spencer's SUV and so it was just Emily and me in her Corolla. It was a good 45 minute drive back to Rosewood. I glanced over at Emily- she was so content driving and listening to the background music. She had one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand resting on the gear shift. I stared at her hand intently. I studied it - absorbing every millimeter of skin into my memory. I raised my hand from my lap hesitantly before putting it back down.

You can do this Paige. It's just her hand. She's been sneaking touches all evening. If it wasn't okay for you to touch her, she wouldn't have caressed your hands or your arm or your shoulder to begin with. It's okay. It's only Emily. The girl who kissed you - who you kissed back...you know the kiss you still feel the tingle from hours later ... that kiss.

I clenched my eyes tightly for a moment. I felt like I had the Angel/Demon deities on my shoulder - only...there was only one talking. The other was being silent. Through my internal struggle, I raised my hand for a second time and inched closer to the gear shift where Emily's hand was still resting. The simple act of breathing suddenly became a struggle for me. As I stretched out my pinky finger and barely grazed the outside of her hand, all moisture from my mouth disappeared and my breath became ragged. I looked up at her, so I could see her face and she was smiling widely - still looking at the road, but smiling. Her reaction gave me a tad more courage and so I scooted my hand a bit closer to add a little more pressure behind my small caress.

My eyes trailed back down to our hands - I was touching Emily Fields. I've touched her before, but this was different. This was a direct caress - a type of touch shared among girlfriends...boyfriends...husbands...wives...lovers... As my confidence grew, I watched as my fingers began gently exploring the outside of her hand. I memorized the softness of her skin, the tautness of her muscles and the hardness of her knuckles. There was a certain wave of pleasure and a jolt of electricity that flowed through my veins as I continued to trace my index and middle finger along the small plain of her skin. I felt her hand move and I immediately lifted off of her - expecting her to pull away. I was relieved when I saw that she simply turned her hand over so that my fingers could explore the inside of her palm. I traced every line that indented her palm...every bend in her slightly curled fingers...every curve of the insides of her knuckles. I became dizzy over the most platonic of places - I couldn't even begin to imagine what I'd feel like if I touched her anywhere else.

"Paige?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Perfect."

"You seem a little...out of breath," she giggled.

"I'm fine. Perfectly fine."

"Okay..."

She didn't believe me. What she couldn't even possibly have known was that I had longed to touch her in some way for the past two months - ever since I first saw her. This had been a dream for as long as I can remember - being able to just be "Paige" and be free to be instead of what I was supposed to be.

"I've just wanted this for so long..."

"What? To touch my hand?" She smirked.

I looked over at her and shook my head before returning my gaze to our hands - which were now locking together.

'No... To feel."

She squeezed my hand lightly.

"I understand. I was there myself."

"I remember you telling me that you questioned things before Maya. Tell me?"

"You remember like the first week you were at school Spencer mentioned Ali?

I nodded.

"Alison liked to play games...a lot of games. One of those games was making me her bitch."

"I don't get it."

"I was in love with her. I thought she walked on gold. I practically worshipped her. She saw that and used it for her own advantage. She kissed me...once. It was in secret and she always held that over me. I was just very infatuated with her. After...after she went missing, I buried those feelings deep down. It wasn't until Maya that I realized those feelings weren't horrible. That I wasn't alone. I battled with it a lot because... well, Ali always made me feel bad about it. She'd use it against me and then she'd make me feel bad...like it was wrong. And...And I knew my parents would be less than thrilled. My mom used to make comments about gays and so I knew her stance on it. But... I know all about 'feeling'. The first time I ever felt remotely like who I was on the inside was with Maya. But honestly..." she paused as she pulled into my drive-way.

She parked the car, undid her seat belt and shifted to the side to look at me.

"The first time I have ever actually felt like the complete 'me'...the 'me' I see in my head... is with you, Paige."

For the first time ever, I understood the term 'happy tears'. I felt the water formation at bottom of my right eye begin to seep down and trail down a hot cheek. She placed her hand on my face and brushed the tear away with her thumb.

"Aw that wasn't supposed to make you cry!"

"I know. It's just... Knowing I make you feel that way... Well it's the most amazing feeling ever."

"I don't have to be anything I'm not around you. We have fun together... I mean, anytime I'm with you, I know I'm going to laugh so hard that my stomach is going to hurt. I also know that I can hold a serious conversation with you and you won't blow me off. I mean, I have the girls and they are... they are my sisters. We've been through so much together and I couldn't possibly imagine my life without a single one of them. But like I said a couple weeks ago, they are all kinda into their own thing. We have fun together - a lot of fun... but with you it's...different. You know me in a way they don't. I could never have gotten through Maya and what she did if it wasn't for you. "

I grinned in embarrassment and my head tilted down but before I could fully look at the floor, her fingers caught my chin and forced me to look back up at her.

"I know how hard it is. But I also know how amazing it can be...how it's like your discovering the entire world for the first time again. I want to be the person who can show you that...the person that can be here to hold your hand and help you through all of the amazing, all of the intense and all of the painful experiences."

I leaned in towards her hesitantly - only moving my head a centimeter at a time. Her fingers trailed along my jaw and rested at the side of my face as she began leaning in towards me. - Her eyes resting on my lips before closing as the space between us dwindled. My lips parted just before hers merged tenderly with mine. We embarked on a slow dance - our lips gently moving together. All of Emily's emotions purged into me through the soft kiss. Promises and assurances that didn't need to be spoken could be felt as her lips guided mine.

I knew that regardless of what happened Emily would be there to hold my hand... And to kiss me breathless. I knew that if ever my mind became too cloudy or too full, I'd only need to feel her lips dance with mine and the clouds would disperse immediately.

The hand that rested on my face moved to my hair as the kiss transformed into many small and light kisses. I adored the way she would kiss one lip at a time- it made my entire body tremble. Truthfully, I believed that a dozen or more butterflies took up a permanent residence in my stomach because no matter how many times I had felt her touch me or kiss me, each new time made the butterflies flutter around frantically and I couldn't breathe properly.

She finally pulled away from the kiss completely after one last chaste kiss. My head was spinning - I was beyond dizzy from her kisses. When I finally opened my eyes I heard her voice - a bit huskier than I ever had...

"There's my beautiful girl. Let's get upstairs and get some sleep. It's been a long day- for both of us."

I blushed profusely but nodded at her suggestion. As we gathered our things and made our way to my bedroom, I wondered two things... How sleeping with her now that we both admitted we liked each other was going to work... And... Did she really mean to say "my girl"?

I would be though. In all the hell that I was about to have to endure... In all

The uncertainty running through my head, there was one thing I was most positively and completely certain of... I was falling in love with Emily Fields and I had been since August 17th at 7:45am.


	13. Chapter 13

**HEY LOVIES! I hope you are all doing well! For those of you who have started school this month – how is it going? I just had my first full week back and it's a blast! I'm adoring it! However, that's why I haven't been updating every day! Between work and school and two stories I'm trying my hardest to update semi-regularly. Okay, well… I hope you enjoy this story. It's a bit longer than most. If you still need more Paily fix – check out BURN MY SKIN. It's my other story. Please please please REVIEW! Tell me what you love, what you hate, what you wanna scream at ! For both stories even! But I do hope you love them…or at least 'don't hate them'! **

**O BTW - The rating changed! =)**

**Perfect – I'm SO glad you really liked it! I thought it was kinda cute too. Paige is adorable. I absolutely love her. I'll keep writing if you keep reading!**

**From below – WOW three reviews in one day! Holy cow! It was an ego boost tho! HAHA! Exactly! The dresses are getting voted upon (by me and my girlfriend) today and the rest of this weekend…so I guess you'll just have to wait and see! I'm so glad that you like everything! Have you checked out Burn My Skin? I can't remember if I've seen you over there or not. If you haven't – do! I've updated some!**

**Cici – AWWWWWWWWWWWWW. My heart just melted a bit! I'm so glad that you like it! Well, I guess you'll just have to find out! =) Duelly noted! I actually was thinking about that as well. This chapter reveals a lot but it will be a while before Paige is ready to be out – in daylight – with Emily as freely as she wants to be. KEEP READING! PLEASE!**

**Del – It's the date that Paige met Emily – 740am she had just begun her first class of the new year at Rosewood High – sitting next to Emily. =) it was a random date that popped into my head. I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel!**

**Guest – YAY! SO GLAD!**

**PAMY – I'm so glad you are liking both stories! That means so much to me! YOU ROCK! Like seriously! 3 you!**

**Shawster- exactly…I was wondering if anyone was going to say that. I had someone else say it but you were my first to give that reasoning! I guess you'll have to wait. The Paige that we are seeing now is a mixture… it's the girl I believe we would have seen from the start had Ali not fucked with her. Even before that episode aired, I knew something was up. You don't just go around intimidating people without a reason behind it. Paige was scared and she was full of hatred – not hatred for Emily, but hatred for herself. Emily represented everything she wanted to be but was terrified to have. Ali played a huge part in that and like I said, I believe had Ali not tormented the hell out of her, this is the Paige we would have seen all along. **

**Leitbeglee – I know you commented on chapter 3 – but I hope that you read all through 12. I'm hoping you like it so far? Yes? No? Okay..now I'm a bit nervous…lol**

**Insomatic-studios – I AGREE! Underground homecoming parties are lovely! And love- you will get through it. Promise. 3**

**Ineheram – YAY! I'm glad you love! Hehe. You make me happy!**

**Rileygirl1 – So I first read your comment when I was at work – and I started to legit cry. Like I had tears streaming down my face. This review made me so happy and so overwhelmed with joy – just you telling me that it made you smile inside and about the respect thing. THANK YOU. This generation at least has girls kissing other girls. When I was a teen we only had Willow/Tara on Buffy the Vampire slayer. No one even saw them kiss until Buffy's mom died. They got a lot of flak from people because of it too. I'm just glad that – while it's not up to par – networks are willing to show a lil girl-on-girl action…even if it is minute.**

**Psyro – THANKS! NOTED!**

**Artisall – your reviews always make me smile! I will keep trying to update! Read Burn my Skin too… just have a cold shower ready!**

**OKAY MY LOVES! READ READ READ REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I LOVE YOU ALL AND I WRITE FOR YOU! **

* * *

_"God…Emily," I moaned as I bit my lip. _

_Her delicate hands moved across my back and down to my ass so that she could pull me further into her. One of her hands snaked between our naked bodies and rested against my mound. I felt as if I was going to faint under all the arousal building inside of me. My body was buzzing with anticipation. I could feel the heat of her core resting against my upper thigh as she rocked against me. Soft lips danced on my pulse point as teeth sunk into nimble flesh and I cried out in an attempt to show her just what she was doing to me. Between feeling her liquid heat on my skin, her teeth bruising my neck and her fingers lightly grazing over my lips – I was about ready to explode from sheer torture._

_As she lay atop me, her firm, perky, luscious breasts pressed closely against mine and her smooth stomach glided along my own taut skin as our bodies rocked in rhythm – trying to meld into one entity. I felt her fingers firmly trail along my swollen, wet lips - teasing me mercilessly. My wetness has seeped out onto the outsides of my lips and I could feel her playing in the pool of smoldering liquid. I groaned loudly hoping that she would get the hint- I wanted her to take me ...to claim me as hers...to make me hers...only hers._

_ Her lips left the bruised flesh of my neck and she leaned up to capture my lips in a desperate kiss. There was nothing tender about the way she fused her lips with mine- she was ravishing me... and I lay naked on the bed for the taking. She pushed her tongue pushed passed my lips and drank me in. Our tongues battled for superiority but she moved her tongue in and out of my mouth so quickly that it made me light-headed. She took my bottom lip between her teeth and bit down on it lightly before soothing the bite with her tongue. As she kissed me into oblivion, her fingers parted my lips and swirled around my opening. She entered me about to her first knuckle before pulling out – causing me to whimper into her kiss. I felt her lips curve upwards into a smile just before she thrusted her two fingers into my tight yet soaked channel with great intent..._

My body jumped slightly as I was pulled from the vivid dream. My skin was coated in a thin layer of sweat and there was a tremendous pulsating ache between my legs that I was keenly aware of. My chest ached due to the force of which my heart was pounding against my ribcage. It took all of my effort to slow my breath – the dream was so real…so tangible. It was everything I wanted yet everything that terrified me. I opened my eyes slowly and immediately groaned softly as I was blinded by a brilliant light peering through the sheer curtains of the window. Looking around, it took me a minute to realize where I was, but because the room was nicely illuminated I was quickly able to recognize that I was in my bed and so I relaxed a bit – my heart rate continuing to slow down to normal.

_Where did that come from?_ I questioned myself.

I had had dreams about Emily before but nothing to that magnitude. I couldn't deny that the dream wasn't a glimpse into what I truly wanted, but there was so much to figure out before then. I had just come out to the girl that consumed my thoughts not even 24 hours ago ... I also had my girl-on-girl kiss not even 24 hours ago. Was it possible that even after a night of sleep my lips still tingled from the kiss Emily had graced me with? She had kissed me breathless a few times – never deepening the kiss though. Just lips moving together – dancing together – sent jolts of electric shocks through my blood steam and I knew Emily was taking things very slow with me. She didn't want me to regret anything. I was very thankful that she was sure of who she was – I couldn't imagine what it would be like if we were both hesitant and shy.

I wasn't exactly shy, but all of this was new territory for me. For years I simply buried every feeling that I had been taught (or that had been implied) was unnatural. However being with Emily – both being able to touch and kiss her as well as just simply being in the same general area as she – felt freeing…right…natural. When things feel right, how could they be wrong? The day before I met Emily was the last day a razor grazed my skin. It was like when I saw her…everything changed. When I first dove into the school pool that Tuesday, the strong chlorine burned my healing cuts. Emily changed all of that. So this past couple of days I began to come to the conclusion that if Emily changed that…maybe if I decided to take the giant leap in learning and becoming who I am…then….maybe I wouldn't feel so boxed. The moment Emily's lips had touched me, I felt a hundred pounds lifted out of me. It was like I could see for the first time…like before I was seeing everything in gray and now it was full of vibrant color. Emily was my saving angel.

The previous night at the pizza joint I had asked Hanna and Aria to help me find a dress for homecoming. Emily told them I was going with her - as a friend - because Maya had left. They had all been thrilled that I was joining the party. Even Spencer seemed to be happy about it - I didn't know why but Spencer and I never really hit it off...It always felt like she was watching my every move. Even though the tension was still there, I was just happy it was getting better. I could tell Spencer had trust issues. The way everyone was totally free at the concert made me think that perhaps I could tell those three that I was gay…and that I was falling for their best friend. Homecoming was less than a week away… I wanted to be able to dance with Emily on that floor - she deserved it. She deserved to have someone kiss her and to feel like she was there with somebody – just like everyone else was. Was it possible to come out to those three and not come out to everyone else? I wasn't ready for that gigantic step, but Emily deserved to be with someone who could show her how amazing she was.

As thoughts of last night and Emily died down, I decided that I could use a little more sleep because the way the light was peering through the room I could assume it was only 7-730am and we hadn't gone to sleep until at least 2. We got home around midnight but Emily and I had sat up in my bed talking about various topics - I didn't think we'd ever run out of things to talk about. We finally decided to go to sleep around 1:30 but we lay in bed for a while just simply cuddling and sharing a few chaste kisses. She made my entire soul buzz – she made me come alive.

I nuzzled into the pillow I was holding but when the 'pillow' moved I opened my eyes quickly and looked down. Emily was lying on her back in the middle of the bed and I was at her side using her chest as a head rest. My top leg crossed one of hers and our legs were tangled together. My outside arm was snaked around her waist and the rest of my torso was pressed very firmly against hers. Emily had one hand resting against my back and the other hand resting against my arm that was holding onto her. I couldn't believe how safe I felt cuddled to her. I released the breath I was holding and allowed myself to sink into her. I could hear her heartbeat underneath her skin and it was beyond soothing. Before I even noticed, I was thrown back into dreamland where Emily and I were swimming for the gold.

* * *

"So what you are looking for?" Hanna asked me as we walked into one of her favorite dress shops.

"Nothing too…frilly." I replied looking at a pink puffy dress at the front of the door –my nosed turned at it as we walked by.

"Well, you have long dresses, short dresses, strapless, halter…"

"Slow down…. I am way out of my league here!"

"Okay… turn."

"What?"

"Turn…spin…" She instructed as we reached the back of the store with a twirling finger.

I let out a sigh but complied and slowly turned around in one place. After doing a completely 360 turn, I lifted my arms at the elbows - my hands palm us as to say 'well?' Hanna's face was in deep thought. It was several moments before she made an effort to speak.

"I know exactly the dress! In you go – I'll bring it to you" she excitedly exclaimed hurrying me into the nearest dressing stall.

I went ahead and took off my jeans, shoes and shirt as I waited for Hanna to arrive with 'the dress'.

"Paige?"

"In here!"

"Open up! You'll need help!"

"Oh… um… I think I'll be okay to do it by myself…"

"Trust me, you'll need help. If you're worried about anyone seeing you, I won't look. Promise. You're not my type!"

"No…that's not it… O...Okay… Hang on.

I hurriedly grabbed the cami that I had worn underneath my top and put it on before I opened the door slightly to see a large item in Hanna's hands as she entered the confines of the room. I wasn't expecting her to come into the room and I really didn't want her to see the scars on my stomach. I was never so thankful for a cami in my entire life.

"You gotta take that off. It'll ruin the look of the dress."

My heart sank.

"Oh…o...okay."

I turned my back to her and hesitantly lifted the cami back over my head. After throwing the cami towards the rest of my discarded clothes, my hands immediately flew over my stomach to cover the scars.

"Okay, so you have to step in here …" she directed as she held the dress open for me.

I did as instructed and she made me turn around as she helped me pull the dress up over my body. She zipped the back for me and made me turn for her to see.

"Oh my god Paige! You're hot! Look!"

She moved out of the way of the mirror and I looked at myself in the garment. _Emily will love this_ I thought.

"Let's do it! Just help me get out of the stupid thing!" I chuckled.

For the next hour, Hanna pulled me towards shoes and accessories. I wasn't very interested in either, but I figured since I pulled her along for her skills, the least I could do was purchase what she put in my hands. Earlier that day I had called my mom and told her that I wanted to go to homecoming with the girls. Even as she put the phone down, I heard her try to persuade my dad into letting me go – when he finally said 'yes', I nearly shrieked. Mom told me to get $500 out of her hiding space and to use as much of it as I needed to have a good time. She said after everything I'd been through, I deserved it – especially as how I didn't ask to go out like this much.

Emily had left at the same time I did to meet Hanna. I was actually a little late meeting Hanna because as we were saying 'goodbye' we kept leaning and re-leaning in for chaste kisses or hugs. Emily was meeting with Spencer and Aria to finish up a school project and I wasn't going to see her until the morning. She had said that if my parents' weren't home and if I didn't want to be in the house alone, I could always go over to her place. I had seriously considered her offer, but I didn't want to appear desperate or clingy – even though the thought of not seeing her made my heart cry.

**Where are you?**

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket at the checkout and as I pulled it out, I smiled widely.

"Wow Paige…Look at that smile! You have some secret honey stashed away?"

I blushed furiously. "Ummm…" I didn't know what to say so I simply focused on my phone as Hanna gave the attendant my rather large purchase.

**_With Hanna. Checking Out. How are you?_**

"Paige…cash?" Hanna alerted me.

"Oh…umm… how much?" I asked the attendant.

"$243.53" She said with smile.

I took out three one-hundred dollar bills and handed them to the short, dark girl just as my phone buzzed in my hand.

**You and Hanna should meet us. We're going to a movie. Please? I miss you. X**

I retrieved my change and then Hanna and I walked out of the store – the dress in a long, hanging bag.

"Emily wants to know if we want to join her, Aria and Spencer at the movies."

"Yea. Sound's awesome! Did they get their project done?"

"Not sure."

**_We're coming. What movie? I miss you too. I think that Hanna may suspect something. She saw me smile when I got the text and then I said you had asked. Em…what if they freak?_**

I got into the passenger's seat of Hanna's car.

"Movies?" she asked.

"Yep!"

**Did they freak on me?**

**_No, but still. Two of their friends…._**

**You don't have to tell her. **

**_I know. _**

**It'll be okay. See you soon okay? I'm driving.**

**_Get to me safely._**

"So why the huge smile? Spill it."

"It's…its nothing."

"You don't get a look like that for nothing…"

"I…I guess I'm just not ready to tell anyone."

"Tell anyone that you like Emily?"

I looked at her with horror in my eyes. She glanced back at me and chuckled at my terror.

"I'm right, aren't I?

I just continued to stare at her as air escaped my lungs and my heart raged out of my chest in fear.

"Please. You obviously don't know me well enough. You two are always looking at each other. Always texting… the past couple of days you have had goo-goo eyes when you looked at her. Seriously, either you like her or your on drugs every minute of the day."

I closed my open mouth and looked at my feet.

"I think you two would be super cute together. She likes you back, doesn't she?"

I continued to stare at my feet. I didn't know how to answer. I was nearly mad at Emily for not being there with me. I didn't want to lie. I had lied enough. I wasn't ashamed of liking Emily – at least not because I knew she liked me back. I didn't want to be ashamed of who I was. If I couldn't trust these girls that had obviously accepted their lifelong friend, then who could I trust?

"I...uh…yes. I like Emily," I whispered.

"You've never said that aloud before, have you?"

I shook my head. I knew she wasn't looking at me but she understood.

"Em and I… we…uh… kissed yesterday."

Hanna squealed. "So I was right. She's into you."

"I'd…I'd hope," I chuckled nervously.

Hanna put her hand on my knee before tapping it a few times.

"It's okay Paige. Really. Everyone will be cool with it. You don't have to hide from us. Seriously, Emily is going to faint when she sees you in that dress!"

She moved her hand back to the steering wheel. It was so much for me to take in.

"Does anyone else know?" I asked hesitantly.

"I don't think so. They don't really pay much attention. I love romance so I'm always looking for it. But they'd totally be okay with it – more than okay. We just want Em to be happy," she assured me.

We pulled into the movie theatre parking lot a few minutes later and exited the car. As I walked around the front of the car Hanna caught my arm.

"Paige, you don't have to tell them. But if you do, everything will be okay. I won't say a word until you do. But I see Emily looking over here…she can't stop looking at you," she said with a wink.

I looked in Emily's direction and even from a distance I found that deep brown eyes that I always lost myself in. Hanna and I walked swiftly towards the group – Emily took a few steps towards me anxiously. It had only been a few hours since we had been apart but I though after this past weekend neither of us wanted to be alone. The weekend had been such a huge revelation to both of us and I knew that – at least with me – we wanted to soak as much of it in as possible.

"Hey," Emily greeted me with a smile.

"Hi…" Even just seeing her for the millionth time made butterflies flutter inside of me.

_This is it Paige. It's dark, no one is around but the five of you. You're not even in front of the theatre. You're on the side of it where no one can truly see. It's now or never._ _Five seconds of courage…that's all it takes…_

I reached my hand out and grabbed her finger tips before leaning over and placing a kiss on her lips. For a moment I didn't feel her respond. I began wondering if I had gone too far – if she was mad at me…but as the thought of pulling away crossed my brain, I felt her lips move tentatively against mine for a brief second before pulling away. Her hot breath still lingered on my lips. I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes and I had a feeling that neither could she. She rested her forehead against mine as she spoke.

"I told you it didn't have to be tomorrow…"

"I don't want to lie to our friends."

"That…was amazing," she breathed.

"I've been dreaming about that all day."

We both opened our eyes at the same time and giggled slightly as we noticed a familiar flush in the other one's cheeks. I must have given her a slight worried expression because it was then that she squeezed my hand in reassurance.

"No one else saw."

"I'm sorry…" I felt so stupid.

"You just kissed me in front of my best friends. Don't be sorry."

"Hanna knows."

"Well, I think they all know now," she giggled.

"No, I mean…before. We talked in the car."

"How did she know?" She quizzed.

"I guess she saw how I looked at you…" I trailed off.

"Don't ever stop looking at me like that. It makes me feel like I'm the only one who exists."

"To me…you are."

She smiled widely before looking around and placing another soft kiss on my lips. I nearly teared as I realized that she looked around to check to see if anyone was watching but her two jaw-dropped friends and Hanna – who I could hear clapping excitedly.

After a moment, my eyes fluttered open and we turned to face the three girls before walking up to them hand in hand.

Emily squeezed my hand as Aria and Spencer gawked at us wide-eyed. I searched Emily's eyes for strength and she tightened her grip on my hand. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"There's something I have to tell you guys…"

I waited for a response, but both girls were staring at me in disbelief.

"I'm…." I looked at Emily and she simply smiled at me. "A little less straight than you may think…"

"You're…gay?" Aria finally asked.

I nodded slowly. "I'm…I'm…gay…yea…I'm gay."

Relief flooded my entire being as I spoke the words.

"But no one else knows. Not her parents, not her friends from other schools. No one. You guys have to promise to keep this a secret," Emily filled in.

"Wait, so you're gay and you're together?" Spencer quizzed us both as her eyes darted between the two of us.

I didn't know how to respond, thankfully Emily did. "We just are, Spence. It's hard coming out and we like each other. Whatever happens happens."

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know, but I don't think Paige is going to hurt me. Even if she does, it would be unintentional and I'm a big girl. I know what I'm getting into," Emily defended.

Hanna rushed over to me and grabbed me in a hug. "I'm so SO proud of you!"

"Wait you knew?" Aria and Spencer said in unison.

"Duh. How didn't you?"

They two girls looked at each other, then back to Hanna and then finally back to Emily and myself.

"I'm sorry for lying to you," I apologized as I started to look down – Emily's squeeze to my hand stopping me mid-way.

"I'm just glad you finally told us! You don't have to keep things from us. We get a little shocked but in the end we just want Em to be happy – right Spence?" Aria replied.

"Right," Spencer agreed. "Seriously, Em. I'm happy for you…you too Paige. It's just a lot to take in."

"I understand… trust me. It was a lot to take in for me too…" I answered back.

"When did you…you know?" Aria questioned.

Emily looked at me assessing whether I was comfortable talking about it or not.

"I told Emily on Saturday – before the concert. That's why we were late. "

There was a round of "ahh's" showing that they understood.

"Well, the movie is going to start. Shall we?" Spencer announced.

We all agreed as we headed into the theatre – Emily and I trailing behind the other three. As we walked, she whispered into my ear.

"I am so unbelievably proud of you."

I beamed at her and kept ahold of her hand lightly as we entered the theatre. "Thanks. I'm proud of me too."

Emily shielded our hands with her body as we walked into the building. She had us stand between a couple of the girls as we got tickets and drinks. I was thankful for her consideration – even though I knew I was making tremendous progress, I did only admit to myself that I was "less straight" the day before. It was so amazing and relieving to know that she not only understood but would go to any length to ensure that I was comfortable and not accidently revealing too much of myself to others before I was ready. She was always concerned about me – she beyond selfless.

We walked into the large theatre. Spencer led the group because she was so anal about where she sat in the theatre. Aria sat next to Spencer and Hanna next to Aria. Emily guided me in to sit between her and Hanna as she brought up the rear of the group. We sat down and situated all of the popcorn and drinks. Emily, Hanna and I were sharing a large bucket of popcorn just as Spencer and Aria were. What I had noticed is that it was better for Spencer and Aria to have their own share bucket because those girls could eat more popcorn than a hungry kangaroo.

We talked aimlessly amongst each other until the lights dimmed and the movie began playing loudly. The screen lit up and flashed various scenes of soon-to-be-released movies, however the only thought in my head was that of how incredible it felt to have come out to my friends and be sitting in a theatre with my….with my Emily…and be able to feel her hand in mine and not worry about whether Spencer, Hanna or Aria would look over and see. For the first time, I felt like I was going to be okay. My friends accepted me – the only thing that worried me was my parents. But, with Emily's hand in mine eventually I would be able to tackle that obstacle too.


	14. Chapter 14

**HI LOVES! THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!**

**HI LOVES! THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!**

**First - I apologize GREATLY if there are a lot of typos. I wanted to get this up before I had to go back to work. I hope you forgive me and still love me! The outfits are revealed today! It's the start of homecoming! YAY! Are you excited?**

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* * *

The week passed without much incident. Emily and I had spent nearly every waking moment together. We had a small meet Wednesday night – we won. I had spent the night at Emily's house after the meet because my father had a very early engagement and didn't want me to wake him by coming home after dark. Friday night my parents went out and so I had the girls over to the pool. It was so freeing to be able to be so close to Emily and not have to worry about who was going to think what. I wondered if that was how it felt when someone is out completely – being completely free.

Before she had left Friday night, I had asked Hanna to come by my house and help me get dressed for the dance. I had worn make up before but the whole idea of dressing up formally was foreign to me. Hanna had come over about 9am and we had eaten breakfast together and spent hours talking about my fears of dancing with Emily in front of the entire school. I wanted to dance with her so badly but I wasn't ready to come out that night. Hanna had assured me that she spoke to Caleb and they had a plan. When she told me what they were thinking, my eyes immediately brightened up - I loved the idea. I couldn't wait to see Emily's face.

I quickly showed as Hanna set up my room into something resembling a prestigious looking salon. When I reentered my room, I was immediately overwhelmed. She had a large box - a 'professional cosmetic case" was how she had described it - in the middle of my desk with a curling iron, a hair dryer and a straightener lying beside the box in a perfect order. She also had three kinds of brushes and a smaller box - much resembling the larger make-up box - with various pins, clips and other hair accessories. I looked to my closet and both of our dresses were hanging on the door - still cloaked in their respective clear plastic bags.

"Should I put on the dress...or?" I asked Hanna. I had no idea what I was doing.

"Absolutely not. Hair, make-up then dress. Here, put this on and a pair of shorts," she said throwing me a long-sleeve button up shirt about two times too big for her.

"Why can't I just wear a tank top?" I asked.

Hanna rolled her eyes at me. "Because if you wear a tank top, you have to pull it back over your head and it'll ruin my creation. Don't question, just do."

I walked over to my chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of shorts before turning my back to Hanna and changing into the shorts and long button up shirt. I put my towel into my hamper and walked back over to Hanna who was finalizing her set up.

"Okay...here I am."

"Okay. Sit... just sit here and let me perform magic."

"Takes a lot of magic huh?

"What are you talking about? Paige, you're gorgeous. Emily is a lucky girl."

"You're just saying that. You're Emily's friend. You wouldn't say anything mean about me."

Hanna walked around me and looked at me. "Seriously, you're hot. I'm just here to help...enhance. When I'm done with you, you are going to realize how hot you really are. Now, just sit back and relax," she said just before she walked over towards my stereo and turned up the volume.

Two and a half hours and two fully done hair/make up art pieces later, she finally had me put on the strapless bra that she had bought during the week for me. I had asked her how she knew my bra size without me telling her and she had simply replied 'fashion is what I do. Trust me'. She was right. The cup was a little small, but she told me she bought it that way purposely.

"It will enhance your bust line. Make you look fuller."

"Okay... I just don't want to come out of it..."

"It's not that much smaller. You're between a C and a D. The D's are more comfortable, the C's will bring you out. You'll be fine. Promise."

She took our dresses down off of the door and laid them across my bed before unzipping the plastic and removing the garments gingerly. She turned to look at me after each dress was laid out simply waiting for us.

"You ready?" She asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really," she giggled. "Besides, Emily will simply die when she sees you. She won't be able to keep her hands off you," she winked.

"I'm just worried about everyone seeing. She deserves to be able to dance."

"And she will. Don't worry. Caleb and I have it all set. Trust me. It's going to be amazing. Okay? No worries."

"Okay... I trust you."

"Good. Now we only have like two hours left. We gotta get you dressed and finished up. Emily is meeting you there, right?"

"Yea... Someone is going to have to bring her to me."

"That's fine. Aria texted me earlier and told me she has her mom's room key. So you two will meet in Mrs. Montgomery's room and then at the end of the night when all the slow dancing happens, "she paused and gave me a sly smile. "You just take her up. Okay?"

"I could never have pulled this off if it wasn't for you..." I beamed at her.

"I know. That's why I'm fabulous," she giggled. "Okay let's get you dressed!"

An hour later and I was looking in my floor-length mirror that was leaning against the far corner of my room. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Hanna was right - I was hot. My hair was down mostly - only two tight braids kept each of the front sides of my hair back and out of my face. A simple black butterfly clip holding the braids in place at the back of my head. Hanna had curled the ends slightly so my deep auburn locks hung just passed my shoulders. Hanna had applied a decent amount of eyeliner and mascara to my eyes before brushing over the lids with first a deep burgundy and then a lighter shade - it was blended perfectly and my brown eyes stood out from the rest of my face.

I began to trail down my form in appreciation of Hanna's art work. I had simple white gold hoops in my ears that matched the color of my silver water pendant that Kat had once bought me. That pendant meant more to me than any piece of jewelry - and it wasn't because of Kat. It was because of what it stood for - a reminder to always be myself. That was something I couldn't do then, but I could surely do now. The pendant set just about my exposed cleavage. Hannah had insisted on me wearing a strapless bra due to a strapless dress. I didn't understand why I couldn't wear a dress that covered me completely and she simply stated that I had amazing shoulders and needed to show them off.

The A-line dress was nearly a dark crimson. It was such a dark red that in some lighting it nearly had a burgundy off-tone to it. The top of the dress was a solid ruffle - it looked more like a wave than a ruffle in my opinion. The fabric clung tightly to my breasts and abdomen before a small white-embroidered sash-belt topped off my waist. The bottom of the dress flowed from the embroidered sash and flowed down my thighs in uneven pieces - the longest piece reaching just below the back of my knee. The fabric at the bottom was so soft and airy in contrast to the firm fabric above my waist.

I spun around a couple of times - enjoying how the bottom of the uneven dress flowed around my form. In a mid-spin, I caught Hanna's eyes. She had been sitting at my desk applying the finishing touches to her make up as I had put on the dress.

"Wow Paige. I was right. You're hot."

"You really think?"

"Emily isn't going to know what hit her. Turn around let me zip it up the rest of the way."

I turned my back towards her and she zipped the top of the dress. A small pull at my shoulder indicated to me to turn back around.

"And what did I tell you? Your boobs look fantastic!" She squealed. "Oh Emily is going to love it. I can't wait!"

I gulped.

"Why are you nervous?"

"I've never really worn a dress before…"

"All the more reason for Emily to lose it when she sees you! Here put these on while I put on my dress," she instructed.

She handed me a pair of slightly heeled black dress shoes. There were a couple of sparkles on the straps but for the most part, the straps that would across my feet were rather simple. As I put them on, I admired how much Hanna already knew about me. She knew I would have hated flashy shoes and anything higher than this heel would cause me to break my face. One small strap went from the back of the shoe and around my ankle while a thin, slightly sparkled strap trailed down the top of my foot and melded into another strap that went ever so lightly across the tops of my toes.

"I knew you would hate anything flashy, but you had to have something a little sparkly and something with a heel – otherwise it just wouldn't look right," Hanna defended.

"I figured. Wow. Hanna…you look…wow," I exclaimed seeing her dress on her for the first time.

Hanna was wearing a royal blue strapless A-line dress that ended about mid-thigh. The top accented her breasts subtly - the fabric covering her breasts made of a course-looking, glitter-covered material that ran into a black sash belt which bunched at the front in the form of a rose. The dress continued below the sash in large, soft, satin ruffles that looped continuously but still hugged her figure. Her hair was scrunched and rested just below her chin. She had only put on a light amount of makeup aside from the generous amount of eyeliner and mascara that – like me – made her eyes wide and bright.

"Thanks! I think Caleb will like it!"

"I'm sure he likes everything you wear. Caleb doesn't seem like the type to be so focused on how a person dresses."

"True, but it's always fun to dress up."

She gingerly slipped on her black open-toed 3-inch heels on before grabbing her silvery clutch purse.

"O I almost forgot," she called as she ran to the desk. "Here."

"What is this? A wallet on steroids?"

"No… it's a purse. Put your ID, some gum and your cash in it. That's about it. O and this…" she handed me a tube of lip gloss. " I would say have a condom in it just to be on the safe side but…I don't think you need one of those…"

I blushed furiously and shook my head taking the simple black purse into my hands and transferring only the items she had told me into the small space. I closed the purse and turned towards Hanna. She walked out of my room and down the stairs before opening the front door. We walked towards her car after I locked the door behind me. My parents weren't home at the moment but they were supposed to be shortly after I left. We got into Hanna's car after her numerous chants to me of 'be careful, be careful' and we headed towards the school.

"Do you have any plans for you and Em tonight?"

I shook my head. "Both of our parents are home… of all weekends for my dad to stay home…"

"I bet Emily has something planned…"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Emily has her moments where she thinks of everything."

"She's had a lot going on, lately."

"Yes, but you get her mind off of it."

"You think?"

"Paige, anytime I see Emily around you… she's always smiling. She smiles more being around you than she ever did with Maya."

"Can we not say that name?"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Did you really knock her out?"

I rolled my eyes before responding. "Um… I hit her yea. The night she broke up with Emily. Emily came to my house. She was sobbing. I finally got her to sleep and I ran to Maya's house."

"Maya's house was like two miles away…"

"I was pissed. It felt like two blocks."

"I called her out and originally I just wanted to talk, but she was just so cocky and before I realized it…I hit her. I ran back home to Emily and didn't leave her side the rest of the night."

"You love her don't you?"

"I…I don't… It's too soon isn't it? I mean, I just came out last weekend – I just admitted it even to myself."

"You do. I can see it in the way you look at her. Even if you can't admit that you love her to yourself or to her, I can see you do. And she loves you back. I've never seen her this happy. I mean, her attitude began to change the moment you walked into Rosewood. All of us simply just thought that she and Maya were doing better. As much as Emily loved her, they had their problems."

"Yea, I found that out. I don't ever want to be like her," I scowled.

"You put Emily before yourself. There is no way you'd ever be like her," she confirmed just as she pulled into the nearest parking spot.

We got out of the car and Hanna immediately spotted Aria a couple parking spots away –then again, she was probably the easiest person to find in the whole area. She was wearing a strapless hot pink pedal dress. The top of the dress was a tight corset that flowed into two sets of pedals (one shorter than the other) that lay over a softer looking black tutu material that poofed out and rested just above her knees. She had a black belt right at her waist that had silver studs lined up in a small row on the leather. She had most of her hair up and it was perfected by a medium-size black headband containing a black bow which rested on the side of her head.

By the time we had reached each other, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. It took all of my power and focus to remember to breathe. I knew it was only minutes before I would see Emily and the plan that I had had for this night would begin.

"Wow, Paige! You look amazing!" Aria exclaimed. "Good job Hanna!"

"I resent that…" I joked

"I did do well didn't I?"

"Hey, I'm right here…"

"We're kidding. Seriously, you're beautiful but Hanna really made you a knock out tonight. Emily's not here yet. She just let her house. You may want to get inside," she said handing me her mom's key.

"I can't take that…"

"Please... okay... Aria, you take Paige to your mom's room and I'll wait for Emily. When she gets here, I'll bring her in. Sound like a plan."

I nodded.

"Let's go get you set up for your girl," Aria replied grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the building.

After a few moments of walking, Aria led us into the last corridor.

"You nervous?"

"That noticeable"

"Just a tad. It'll be fine. I promise."

"I know, but what if she thinks I look stupid?"

"She definitely won't think that. Do you have everything set up for tonight?"

"I think so… but I haven't been up to see it."

"Who set it up then?"

"Hanna and Caleb. "

"If Hanna was involved it's probably perfect. Well, here we are. Just wait here for her. You heard Hanna. She'll bring her in as soon as she gets here."

"Thanks," I said as Aria reached over to hug me.

"Oh! Here…" she reached into her purse and pulled out a black silk scarf before handing it to me.

"What's that for?" I asked nervously.

"To put over her eyes before you lead her up."

"Oh… yea…okay."

"Don't worry, it's not supposed to be kinky," she assured with a small laugh. "Have fun."

"Bye."

The room was eerily quiet and completely empty. It was a typical classroom – a teacher's desk in front and about 30 student desks facing the front of the room. The air had a faint smell of chalk nestled into it. I reached the windows and watched the cars pull into the lot. Mrs. Montgomery's room was just far enough away that I couldn't see whose car was whose – nor could I see Hanna or anyone else.

I heard the door open faintly and I spun around quickly. She closed the door behind her before standing nervously in the door way. Our eyes met from across the room and even though that the one thing in the world I wanted to do – run to her – I couldn't. I was frozen solid. All air escaped my lungs and I wasn't able to take hardly in. She was breathtakingly beautiful. She had worn her hair down and it was slightly curled at the ends – it hung over her shoulders so perfectly. Her dress was deep purple – Charmeuse on the top and Chiffon on the bottom. The dress was held up by a gem covered halter strap that flowed down her neckline and transformed into two elegant loops that flowed into one another vertically between the valley of her breasts. The second loop streamed directly into a belt that divided the two different materials. The bottom the dress reached just above her knee in a wave of uneven fabric.

I mustered up all the courage inside of me and tentatively began taking steps towards her. Just as I was focused intently on her, she was focused intently on me. As I watched her body, I noticed her chest slightly heaving up and down – like it was hard for her to breathe. Her lips were parted slightly but the corners of her lips were still turned upwards. My eyes trailed down her body leisurely – taking all of her in…her strong, muscular thighs, her lean calves and her perfectly tilted feet held delicately in three inch dress sandals - one strap over her perfect ankle and one over her toes. My eyes traveled back up her faultless form until they locked with her own melted eyes.

"Wow…" I breathed.

She stepped towards me enclosing the distance between us.

"Paige…." She whispered. "You are stunning."

Our heads rested together as our breaths came in short inhales. My fingers traveled up her arms as she slid her hands to my back – pulling us together. My left hand reached her face and I pulled her lips into mine softly. My right hand traveled to her back. I could feel her heated skin underneath my fingertips. I had never touched her bare skin before and as soon as my fingers made contact with the skin covering her spine, a shiver engulfed my entire body. Electric jolts ran directly from the nerves in my lips to my blood stream and finally to my brain causing me to become lightheaded. Our lips moved slowly together as both of our hands trailed along each other's back – melding our forms together.

The kiss broke after several minutes. "Whoa…" Emily sighed.

"Yea…whoa," I replied resting our foreheads together lightly.

We took a few moments to allow our heart rates to return to normal – or at least more normal than 'break-out-of-chest fast'. Once we settled from the initial work-up, I looked into her chocolate eyes.

"You are breathtakingly beautiful."

"I could say the same thing about you."

"You ready?"

"I'm always ready to be with you."

"Em, you know that I'm… that I'm not..." I looked down in shame.

"Shhh," she held my face with both hands and forced me to look at her. "I know. And that's okay. But…there are dark corners of the gym and we can dance with Hanna, Aria and Spencer – like the concert….if you feel comfortable. If not, I'm still with you. It's our little secret. Okay?"

"Okay. I just feel bad," I continued.

"Don't. Don't feel bad. We don't have to lie to my friends and that was the biggest thing for me. You have done so much just to prove to me that you want me. Take your time with the rest. "

"Okay… Okay… "

"You ready?"

I grabbed her face quickly and kissed her soundly one last time. After our lips parted, both of our chests heaved up and down slightly.

"Now I'm ready," I answered with a smile.


	15. Chapter 15

**HEY EVERYONE! Sorry it has been a couple days! Things were freaking crazy past week! BUTTTTT for those of you who were like "omg, update…please?" here ya go!**

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**Bamary – AWWW YAY! I'm so glad that you love it! That makes me feel good – that Paige's story is coming off as being 'real'. That means so much to me! Keep Reading!**

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**Ladyknight24 – AWWWWWW THANK YOU! Have you checked out my smut piece? I'd really like to know what you think of that too!**

**Cici- I got your comment from BMS too – Burn My Skin is my fluff piece. There is likely to be little to no drama just because its that place I can go to and write and be happy when my life feels like hell. HOWEVER I promise you that there will be something going on here…at this story. I can't tell you what. I don't think there's going to be a third party as in a girl after Paige, but I don't know until I write it. Possibly someone Paige has no clue about – she's so wrapped in Emily. But you'll see…just sit tight!**

**Insomatic-studios – hey love! Haven't talked to you in a couple days! How are you doing? Well you see Spencer's dress, just not a whole bit! I hope you like it!**

**Del – YAY That's about all I can say! Lol. I'm glad that they get you…that's what I want it to do! And yes…Paige in a dress… I was writing this going 'omg omg omg' HAHA. This is the paige I see NOW – the in Season 3…this is the paige I think we would have gotten had Ali not been a total nutcase. I'm glad you are liking everything so far! I hope you continue to like and read and comment!**

**Pamy – Hi love! HAHA! I'm glad you are so quick to read! I'm working on something for Burn My Skin… but I wanted to get this done first. Hopefully I'll have a chapter out this weekend. Keep reading!**

**Asthedarksideofthemoon – YAY! What was your favorite part?**

**Natmaria – I know right?! I was drooling as I was writing! LOL AWW I was worried about that but I'm glad its working out okay!**

**Fieke1993 – but I'm the best kind!**

**Whothewhat - again – LOL YAY! I love that you get your Paily fix from me! Have you checked out my other one? Burn My Skin? There is a caution warning – its extremely NC17 and you most likely will need a cold shower.**

**OKAY I WANT EVERYONE – EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT IS READING THIS ….YES THAT MEANS YOU! I want you to tell me what your FAVORITE part of In This Life is so far!**

**I LOVE YOU ALL!**

* * *

We reached the decorated gym and immediately spotted aria in a far off corner with the other girls. I looked over and smiled at Emily - she returned my smile immediately before leading me across the floor to the other side of the room. After dodging a few dancing couples we finally joined our friends. We exchanged hellos and Hanna gave me a wide knowing smile as she winked at me.

"Geez Em, knock out much?" aria asked looking at Emily's dress.

"It's nothing," she laughed amused

"Emily if that is nothing I'd like to see what something is," spencer replied. "You two look happy..."

Seeing spencer for the first time that night, I finally saw what she was wearing. Hanna had told me about the dress a couple days ago but I wasn't able to actually picture it. She was in a long black strapless satin dress that had a chiffon sheath over it. There was one slit on her left side that ran up to her mid-thigh. I had never seen a more elegant looking dress in my life, but for Spencer it was absolutely perfect. She had her hair pulled up with a few stray curls framing her face. She looked like one of those models that I always saw on TV – her slender form allowing the dress to fall in all the correct places and hug other areas. It was seriously the perfect "spencer dress".

"Well they should! They had all kinds of time to themselves..." Hanna smirked.

"What? Are you two?" spencer and aria both asked.

"Are we what?" I questioned

I looked at Emily and noticed a terror across her face.

"You know... Are you?"

"No spencer we aren't. We've just kissed. And even if we had, it's none of your business," Emily defended as the blush across her face receded.

A dawning of understanding hit me suddenly and I stated at Emily wide eyed.

"Spencer I just came out last weekend and I'm not that hormone driven..." I added.

"Okay okay. I just wasn't sure what Hanna was talking about."

"Geesh Spence, where is your mind at?" Hanna chuckled.

We all laughed in unison as Caleb arrived at our little circle. He squeezes in between Hanna and me and whispered "it's all set" in my ear before kissing Hanna on the cheek lightly.

About an hour later everyone was settled in. We all sat at a small table - pulling extra chairs up as we needed them. The DJ was sitting up at a recently built temporary stage at the front of the gym- the section that had doors to lead outside. There were two fog machines located on the stage- one on each side of the DJ's table.

The main lights were off and there were a good two dozen rope lights streaming a across the walls to help illuminate the large room. A large silver disco ball was hung in the center of the designated area for dancing as well as two different strobe lights and about a dozen different colored spot lights that rotates on end.

The back of the gym had three tables lined against the walls and were designated for refreshments. There was a variety of cookies, brownies and small snacks as well as thirteen different sodas and one large bowl of reddish pink punch.

I heard one of my favorite songs stream out of the speakers and my face instantly lit up. Emily caught me eyes and beamed back at me- it was a song we both shared a common liking to.

"Wanna grab the girls and dance?" she questioned lightly. I could tell she wasn't pushing by the look in her eye.

I nodded my head. "Yea... Let's grab the girls."

We stood up and gathered the other girls before pushing our way to the center of the floor. We all stood close together and the energy between all of us felt like how it did last weekend in Philly. I barely even remembered that we were in the school gym. We all danced together and we all took turns dancing with Emily - so that it wouldn't single me out as being the only one.

I cherished the moments I had Emily to myself. The way she moved on the dance floor should have been illegal. She swayed hips rhythmically against me- her ass pressing directly into my pelvic area. At one point she ensured that we were being huddled by the girls and she straddled my thigh as her hands rested on the outsides of my hips. She rocked our bodies together in an intoxicating dance. It was the most sexual thing we had ever done - even though we were both completely clothed. Yet I could still feel her heat on my upper thigh and it was enticing.

She was so incredibly sexy. No one had ever made me feel the way she did. She took my breath away every moment I saw her. Scratch that. She took my breath away every moment I thought about her -which was every single second of every single day. There wasn't a moment that went by that Emily didn't consume my thoughts and I wouldn't have changed it for anything.

Several songs, several dances and nearly ninety minutes later, we finally made our way back to the side table where the two boys -Caleb and Toby - were sitting in near silence. I had wondered where Aria's boyfriend was - she simply stated that he couldn't come and so she just wanted to go with her friends, but yet...I kinda thought there was possibly more to the story...but I left it alone. If they wanted me to know the super-secret, they would tell me - the way I told them. As the girls made a B line for the table, I detoured to the refreshments table to grab Emily and I two cups of punch.

"Thank you" she smiled up at me.

I took a seat beside her and scooted closer - we did have 7 people at the table so how we sat close together didn't look suspicious. I felt Emily's finger tips against my knee and my breath caught in my throat. She softly traced her fingertips on the bare skin that the bottom edges of my dress exposed. She trailed as high as the top part of my knee before circling and running her fingers downwards to the tops of my shin. She had never touched me like this before, but it felt amazing - almost like I was dreaming. I tried to control my facial expressions and breathing as the seven of us talked aimlessly for the next 15 minutes or so. Once I heard the difference in tempo, I looked up at Hanna who nodded slowly and I turned in my seat to look at Emily.

"Will you come to the bathroom with me?"

"Sure..." she looked at me oddly - probably because my words were lined with nerves. "We'll be back," She announced to the group.

We walked out of the gymnasium and through the long corridor. As we walked, I kept stealing glances at her - each time resulting in me looking back at my feet...she was steeling glances at me. I began to round the crossing corridor when the sounds of her shoes hitting the tile stopped. I turned around to see her standing in the center of the hall, her arms crossed under her breasts.

"Paige..."

"What? Come on..."

"The bathrooms are back this way," She said pointing behind her.

"I...I know," I stammered.

I walked quickly towards her and reached out to grab her hands. She unfolded her hands and locked her fingertips with mine. She stared at me intently for a few moments before I mustered the courage to speak.

"Trust me?" I asked pulling her towards the crossing corridor.

She relented and followed me to the far door on the right hand side. I could tell by the way she kept looking at me that she was beyond curious and rather a bit nervous. It felt invigorating to be so 'in-control' of the situation. My only hope was that Hanna and Caleb were right- and everything was set up. I opened the heavy metal door and led us down a small hall towards a set of stairs that led straight up. I stepped ahead of Emily and turned to her - effectively blocking her way up.

"What's wrong Paige?" she questioned.

"Are you sure you trust me?"

"I trust you with my life, what's going on?"

"Then here..." I trailed off pulling out the black scarf that Aria had given me earlier from the inside of my bra. "I know it's not the best place to hide things, but I want you to put this on."

She froze and stared at me wide-eyed.

"I promise its nothing bad. I just...I want you to see it all at once. Don't ruin the surprise," I pouted a tad.

"Fine," she relented with a shake of her head. "Just don't mess up the hair."

I beamed at her as she rolled her eyes and turned around. I gingerly took the scarf and wrapped it around her eyes before tying it gently at the back of her head.

'Is that okay?"

"Aside from the fact that I can't see...it's perfect."

I started to giggle but then saw her lips form a small line, so I quickly stopped any signs of laugher. I took her hands in mine and walked backwards up the concrete stairs as I guided her up.

"Okay, hang on. I have to get the door," I instructed.

I turned the knob to the heavy steel door and was flooded with relief once it opened giving way to the night air.

"Step up. Okay...good... just a little more..."

I wanted to get her in the center of it all. As we walked onto the center of the school's roof, I was taken aback by just how perfect it was. I looked around me we made our way. Hanna has strung twinkling lights across the poles on the roof. There was a table with two chairs on one side - the table had a red tablecloth draped over it with two champagne glasses and what appeared to be sparkling grape juice between them. I noticed 4 speakers strategically placed on stands behind the lights and a small main stereo box near one of the speakers. The main box had a white piece of paper taped to it - I'm assuming it gave directions.

"Stay here," I instructed as I let go of her hands.

I walked towards the main part of the stereo and followed the instructions. Within seconds, the sound of the DJ's music filled the air. I looked over to Emily to make sure she still had her eyes covered - she did - and I smiled. I took in the view for a moment as I walked back towards her - we were so high up and we could see practically the whole town. I stopped barely a centimeter from her and I leaned in and kissed her lips softly before moving my hands up her arms and to the back of her head. I untied the scarf and pulled back from the kiss - letting my hands and the scarf trail down her arms.

I watched her intently as her eyes scanned the newly revealed area. I saw her gaze stop first on the lights that were hanging and giving off a soft glow, then the speakers, then the table and finally to me. Our eyes locked and I did my best to decipher her emotions. She had her lips partly slightly and I noticed a stray tear escape from the corner of her eye.

"Hey... this wasn't supposed to make you cry," I soothed bringing up one hand to her face and brushing away the fallen tear with the pad of my thumb.

She looked into me - her eyes wet and glossy. "You did this?"

I nodded. "Well, I had some help..."

"But you did this...for me?"

"I would do anything for you," I stated matter-of-factly.

"No one has ever done anything like this for me before," she whispered.

I smiled at her as a ballad came flowing out of the speakers.

Hanna must have really good timing I thought.

I trailed my hand down her arm and curled my fingers around hers. I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed the top of her knuckles lightly.

"Will you dance with me, Emily?" I asked - butterflies resuming their habitation in my gut.

A second tear fell onto her cheeks as she nodded with a smile. "How could I say no?"

I loosened my hold on her fingers and trailed down to her wrists while bringing my other hand up to grab her free arm. I guided both of her arms to my neck and once I was sure that she was holding onto me, I slipped my hands around her waist and urged her forward - effectively melding our bodies together. My fingers trailed lightly up and down her spine and her fingers combed through my hair. We swayed together - gently dancing - as we held onto each other firmly. Our heads were resting on one another's shoulders but I wanted something more. I gently lifted my head and turned towards her - she felt me stir and stirred towards me. Before I even thought about it, I fused out lips together.

I wasn't sure what all I was feeling but I knew that I was falling for her - and if I was scared to say it, then by God I was going I was going to show her in any way that I knew how. Our lips performed the dance they knew so well and as much as I was purging my emotions into her, I felt all of her emotions seep into me. I captured her bottom lip between my teeth and bit down gently before running over the bite softly with my tongue. I heard a small moan escape her throat and when she parted her lips to let the sound seep through I tentatively slid my tongue into her mouth.

I was greeted eagerly by her languid muscle immediately starting a duel with mine. She tasted of mint and honey as she licked the top of my tongue several times before pushing the duel into my mouth. I was frozen as she slowly explored every crevice of my mouth. She glided her tongue across the roof of my mouth before dipping down to each side - lightly caressing my inner cheeks. After she thoroughly explored my hot cave, she slid the tip of her tongue under mine and curled it – encouraging me to follow her. I let myself be guided into her awaiting mouth and as soon as my tongue breached her opening, she closed her lips around my muscle and sucked gently on the tip.

All thought and reason was immediately expelled from me brain. I had never felt something so inebriating before. After a few moments, she released her hold and as I slowly began regaining consciousness, I mirrored her actions by exploring the insides of her mouth. Tasting her was mind-altering. For once in my life I was thankful for all of those tests that my former swim teacher put me through when I was younger to get me to hold my breath longer. We had been kissing for nearly five minutes with only minor gasps of air to fill our lungs as we kept teach other close.

Her hands slid around my head - pulling me deeper into her for a brief second before our lips parted momentarily. As we leaned in to reacquaint our lips, she caught my bottom lip with her teeth and bit down lightly before soothing the bruised flesh with her tongue. My lips parted and she once again thrusted her tongue into me – fervently dueling with her mate. After several moments – or hours, I really couldn't tell – the feverish kiss slowed into many soft and innocent kisses. Our bodies were pulled down from a state of awakening that we hadn't even begun to acknowledge. Our foreheads rested against one another's as we both attempted to regain our composure. She had left her hands in my hair and my fingers lightly stroked her bare back.

"Now that…was some kiss," Emily breathed against my lips.

I wanted to tell her I felt the same, but words had escaped me. My mind was rushing a thousand miles per minute – even faster than it normally did. I was consumed by the woman standing in front of me, holding me. She was all I wanted and I would do anything for her. Her skin burned my fingers as I traced patterns across her spin.

"I'll take that as a 'thank you'," I chuckled lightly.

"Paige," Emily began as she raised her forehead from mine – resulting me in looking into her darker-than-normal eyes. "This was amazing. You didn't have to do this though."

"I know… but," I paused for a second to figure out how to word what I wanted to say. "I…I wanted to dance with you at our homecoming. You deserve to be danced with."

"And kissed breathless?"

I smiled. "I don't know about you being kissed breathless, but you certainly took all of my breath away."

"I love the way you kiss me, Paige."

I looked down as my cheeks flushed. She took her hands away from my head and reached behind her to grab my wrists. She brought one of my wrists back and placed it directly over her heart. The flesh was visibly stretching out slightly to accommodate the force of her beating heart. The beat was strong and rhythmic yet much faster than normal.

"If you refuse to believe what I tell you, then see it for yourself. This is what you do to me. Do you feel it? Do you feel my heart? "

I nodded.

"Every time you kiss me, every time our skin brushes, every time I catch your eyes…. You make my heart nearly break my ribs. You do this to me. You've made me come alive, Paige."

My heart felt like it was going to burst. With no hesitation I closed the gap between us and welded our lips together. There was a new found emotion behind the kiss- it was passion driven and full of intensity but there was this softness about it…this innocence that allowed it to continue without being deepened. My lips tingled as we kissed – I felt that familiar jolt of electricity shoot through me during the time our lips danced.

The remainder of the night flowed seamlessly. After about another hour of being up on the roof, drinking sparkling grape juice and being 'just us', we rejoined the group downstairs. We had made good timing because it was only about a half hour and then the dance had ended. We all made our way to the parking lot - I was going to hitch a ride home with Emily instead of going back with Hanna.

"Em! There's a huge party going on now. Starts in like an hour. You in?"

I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't care Emily. We can go."

She smiled back at me before turning to Hanna and the others. "Actually guys, we're going to pass," she said glancing over at me. "We have some place to be."

I looked at her like she had lost her mind. "Where do we have to be?"

"It's a surprise!" She exclaimed with a smile and a squeeze to my hand.

"I don't like surprises."

"Well, you are going to like this one."

"I told you Paige… I told you Emily had her moments when she thinks of everything," Hanna smirked.

"You did?" Emily grinned.

"She did," I confirmed.

"Okay you guys, I guess this is where we bid you all goodnight. I am off to be kidnapped I guess?" I looked over at Emily with a mock terrified expression.

"You'll be fine, I'm sure! Emily has excellent taste," Aria reassured giving us both a hug.

"Don't get into too much trouble," Spencer warned as she gave Emily a hug and me a simple wave.

"Caleb?" I called.

"Yea?" he asked turning around to face me.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

I looked over at Hanna and she grabbed me in a tight hug. "It'll be fun! I'm glad you two had the perfect night. Now, it's off to making it even more perfect."

I smiled nervously at her.

"Night everyone," Emily announced as she turned to her car. I walked over to the driver's side door and opened the door for her before she got in. Once I closed it, I went to my side and entered the car.

We started driving and I looked back into the back seat and noticed a large duffle bag.

"Em, where are we going? My parents are going to flip!"

"No, they aren't. when you were getting punch I took your phone and texted your mom and said that Abby wanted to have a swim party after homecoming and that everyone was going to practice at her house tomorrow. She said that was fine and to have a great time. So you're all mine for the night. "

I couldn't believe Emily would go to the trouble of contacting my parents. I guess I was silent for too long because I heard her speak up again, this time her voice was slightly shaky.

"You're not mad are you? That I took your phone?"

"What? No! No! I just… I can't believe you are going through so much trouble."

"As I recall, you did too."

"But that's because you deserve it."

"And you don't?"

"Well, no…not really."

"Paige, you are amazing. You have your flaws – like your more stubborn than a mule, but you deserve it."

I smiled and shook my head. "Can you just tell me where we are going?"

"Nope"

"Please?"

"Nope"

I leaned in towards her and captured her earlobe with my teeth before running my tongue up her outer ear. She shivered involuntarily.

"Please?" I whispered - my hot breath on her ear.

"Atlantic City," she said completely breathless.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys!**

**So I promised a few of you I'd get this up soon. Here it is… Its not very long – I wanted it to be longer but I had to help my gf with her college algebra and so that took a while. But This is a bit short and sweet and I hope you all like it! I will be writing more tomorrow and I hope to have another chapter up tomorrow that has a bit more going on in it! I'm hoping to also have Burn My Skin up tomorrow night or Monday too. 3**

**Thatgirlkatie – HAPPY? Its up. Slave-driver. LOL Sorry its short! Lol**

**Cici – AWWW YAY! I'm glad I could help! That's one reason I write Burn My Skin because it takes away all the bad feelings! But I'm glad this one helps too! I've been thinking about that but unsure how that would go…maybe something for me to explore! I hope you like it!**

**Gabshope – OMG YAY! I'm SO happy you like it! AWWW…. That's all I can say… AWWW**

**Insomatic-studios – So good to talk to you today! Missed you! Wonderful things will happen. I hope you like it!**

**Pamy - :-D I'm glad you love this story! I hope it got posted soon enough…2 days, right? That's good. LOL My muse is full of surprises. LOL my fingers type whatever is put into me to write. LOL xoxoxo**

**Shawsters – YAY I'm glad you like it! I'm not sure, maybe you'll just have to find out!**

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**RileyGirl1 – SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT! Sorry this one is so short tho!**

**Okay Ya'll,**

**I love you all! Review Review Review…tell me what you think!**

* * *

"Atlantic city?" I repeated. "Why Atlantic City? Not that I'm complaining..."

"You really want to know?"

"Ummm yea..."

She smiled at me. "When you took me away for that day trip - when Maya was being a dumbass - it was the first time I truly realized that I had feelings for you and that those feelings weren't exactly 'friend-like'."

I could feel myself beaming at her admission. We drove for a while - just over half an hour - before either of us spoke again. The silence between us was comfortable and welcoming. We listened to music and I had her right hand entwined with mine - I couldn't imagine a place I'd rather be. My mind had flashed back to the first few days that I had known Emily and how I couldn't escape her brown eyes. I remembered the way she smelled and how the chlorine enhanced her scent – a scent I'd know anywhere.

"The first time I saw you in Biology," I whispered turning my head to look at her.

"The first time in Biology what?" She asked curiously.

"That's when I knew I had feelings for you. It was your eyes. I couldn't get them out of my head. "

"It was that long ago?"

I nodded.

"Am I everything you hoped I'd be?" She playfully asked only half joking.

I nodded again. "And more."

I brought our hands up and kissed her knuckles before letting our joined hands fall back to her lap as we finished our last bit of driving. I knew exactly where we were – we had just driven the short distance a few weeks ago. The more I watched the bright lights through the window of the car, the more I wondered exactly where we were going. I hadn't been to this side of town before. It was more remote than the city. The multitude of bright lights dwindled slowly until there were simply spurts of light here and there. About 15 minutes later we pulled onto a remote street. I could smell the salty ocean water through the car – we had to be close to the ocean.

Emily took a left turn and pulled up to an older yet completely perfect looking house. It wasn't very large – only one story. There was a small front lawn with flowers – it was too dark to tell what type of flowers they were. Dividing the lawn into two sections was a path that curved from the driveway to the front door. The path appeared to be constructed of different size stones and concrete. Emily parked under a covering that extended from the house and shut off the car before twisting in her seat to look at me.

"Where are we?"

"This is my aunt's summer beach house. I called her over last weekend and she told me we could come here. She's more lenient than my mom. My mom is accepting but my aunt is enabling," she laughed as the last words escaped her mouth.

"It's very beautiful."

"You've only seen the outside," she smirked with a wink. "Come on. Let's go in."

She took off her seat belt and exited the car before going to her trunk. After a moment my brain kicked in and scolded my body because it was not moving. I quickly opened the door and joined her at the rear of the car. She had two pillows and another small duffle bag – similar to the one in the back seat that I had seen earlier. I grabbed the bag out of the deep trunk before making my way to the other side of the car. I opened the back door and hoisted the large and rather heavy black bag over my shoulder. Emily reached for the pillows and slammed the trunk closed before turning to me. Just as our eyes met I used my hip to bump the door shut.

She smiled and nodded her head towards the path. I followed her lead and walked slowly to the large wooden front door. I watched as Emily grabbed a spare key under the welcome mat and unlocked the door before replacing the key and entering the dark house. As I walked in, she had flipped on the light and the room was immediately illuminated.

"Wow…"

"What?" She questioned looked over at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"Nothing… Nothing. I can just tell she's related to your mom."

She chuckled. "Why's that?"

"It's so…warm. Like even though someone hasn't lived here – the pictures are everywhere and just from the living room it is very inviting."

"Well, there's not a lot of it to see, but do you want the tour?"

"I'd love one! Um… Where do you want me to put…"

"Oh, here. Just set them on the couch. We'll get them later."

I put the bags down on the floor beside the couch. My mom always had a thing about leaving bags on furniture, so I learned never to set my duffle bags anywhere but the floor. After I set them down, I reached down to my ankle and began unfastening the strap to my sandal. The dress wasn't so uncomfortable but the shoes had to go. As I began fumbling with the leather I felt Emily's hand on my arm.

"Let me…" she smiled widely at me.

She knelt down in front of me – I could see her bare feet behind her…apparently she had the same idea. I lifted one foot and she held the back of my ankle with one set of fingers. She carefully unhooked the straps and gently glided the shoe off of my foot. Before I gave her the other foot, I stretched my ankle and my toes – glad to have my full range of motion back. Once I gave her the other foot, she carefully unhooked the strap and took off the sandal. When I had both feet on the ground, she ran her finger tips up the sides of my calves and just under the dress. Her touch was electrifying. I felt sparks surge into me from her fingertips alone. I began to tremble slightly and she stood up – our faces barely a centimeter apart. I attempted to close the distance between us but she turned her head so my lips collided with her soft cheek.

She smiled slyly at me as I pulled away from her silky flesh.

"Not yet," she whispered.

I shook my head at her and returned her smile.

"Come on… I want to show you something," she exclaimed grabbing my head and leading me through the living room towards the dining room.

We walked through the kitchen and out a sliding glass door which opened out to a wooden deck that housed a grill, a covered table and some other odds and ends. She led me to the right of the deck and down a flight of wooden stairs. As I descended the stairs I realized why I could smell the ocean so well – we were on it. Apparently her aunt had a summer house _on_ the beach.

"Wow…Emily…" I breathed finally stepping down off the last stair.

"Beautiful huh?"

"It's gorgeous…" I trailed off.

We walked in the sand towards the ocean. The October air was chilly against my bare skin – the mist from the water not helping out the coolness of the wind hitting my skin. As we reached the shore, I pressed my body close to her back and held her tightly to me. My arms were wrapped securely around her waist and her hands covered my bare arms. The water from the tide crashed around our feet – soaking our skin to the ankles. I brought one arm up and moved her hair off of one shoulder before resuming my right hold around her middle. I kissed her shoulder lightly and then rested my skin on the slender slant.

"How has it felt?"

"What?"

"It's been a week since you've told me about everything that happened and about how you feel."

"Huh…It has hasn't it?"

"Mmhmm"

"Honestly? This has been the best week of my life."

"How so?"

"I don't feel trapped or caged. Even if I'm not ready to shout it to the world, the one person that matters most knows who I am. Not to mention I've been kissing the most beautiful girl that I've ever seen," I said tightening my hold on her as she sighed. "I feel ….safe….cared for…sometimes even…." I stopped myself mid-sentence.

"What Paige?"

"It's…nothing."

"Just tell me…"

I exhaled sharply as she turned in my arms – I wasn't getting out of this. She looked straight through me…the look she always had when she knew something was up. It was a look I had seen just days into knowing her. It was a version of the same look that she gave me the day she stood in front of my Jeep and wouldn't let me move. She had stood right in front of the grill with her arms crossed and that piercing stare. When she entered my Jeep, she looked so deeply into me – I felt naked and exposed. Like all of my secrets were revealed just by her gazing into me. I would never forget that look and that is the look I was receiving from her.

"I feel… loved," I admitted with a breath.

"You are…."

My eyes locked on hers. I wasn't sure if I heard correctly or if I misinterpreted.

"Paige… I've been falling for you since before Maya and I broke up. You are loved and please don't ever forget that. "

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Why else would you think that I am constantly around you? That I never want to leave your house and I never want you to leave mine? That I call my aunt and get all of this set up?"

I looked down slightly but she caught my face with her fingers.

"I love you, Paige and I'm not saying it to hear it back. I'm saying it because it's the truth. I don't need to hear it back."

My heart felt like it has melted into my chest. I was becoming a puddle as Emily wrapped her arms around me and drew me in to her. I didn't know what was going to happen in the future – or hell even tomorrow. All I knew is that being here with Emily was the most real thing I had ever done in my entire 17 years. For the first time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere – with someone and I didn't want to let that go or have a chance of it going.

I lifted my head off her shoulder. "Em?"

She gazed into my eyes and smiled. "Hmm?"

"There's something I wanted to ask you at the dance, but I was too chicken…"

"What is it Paige? Are you okay?"

She was concerned. I could tell by the way her brow furrowed and how her lips straightened slightly.

"I'm fine… just nervous."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me… it's just me."

"I know…it…" I stopped midsentence to internally remind myself I only needed 20 seconds of courage.

"Emily, will you be my girlfriend? I mean… I know we said it's just you and me and I love that. But I want to know that I'm yours….and that you're mine. "

She kissed me fiercely before I could speak another word. The kiss was brief but powerful and spoke anything Emily could have said in response to my question. We stood for endless moments after the kiss – though it was short it left us both breathless.

"I've been yours Paige…. I am yours," she breathed against my lips.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Emily," I whispered in return, my hands shaking against her bare back.

"Think?" she replied quirking an eyebrow. "Maybe I can take away that doubt."

She cupped my face and drew me in towards her - her lips frantically finding mine. She tangled her fingers into my hair and tilted my head back so that she could gain easy access to my mouth. I parted my lips and she slid her tongue into my mouth almost immediately. Our tongues sparred with one another endlessly as our hands tugged at skin attempting to pull each other closer. She withdrew her tongue for a moment but recaptured my lips one at a time. She bit down on my bottom lip and I couldn't help but let a small moan escape from my throat. I felt her lips curl into a smile as she pressed them against mine once again. She tenderly kissed each lip a few more times – continuing to let her tongue run over the nimble flesh before finally pulling away breathless.

"Still think?" She mumbled against my lips before placing another chaste kiss on them.

My forehead leaned against hers for balance. "No doubts… I'm falling in love with you."


	17. Chapter 17

**HI MY LOVIES!**

**I hope you are all doing well this week so far! This one is a bit longer, but not much. In order to post continuously, the chapters are going to be about 2500 words verses 3500 just because of school and everything. But I hope you like it!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I breathe off of reviews! And Katie – this one is for you!**

**Frombelow – AWWWW YAY. I'm glad you like!**

**Brennaninbeckettsbed – WOW that's an SN to type and sorry if I got it wrong. I am SO glad you like this fic! It always makes me smile when I get new readers! Have you checked out Burn My Skin yet? If not, let me know what you think about that one too! 3 you!**

**Artisall – HEHEHEHEHEHEEHE thought you might like!**

**Del – AWWW I'm glad you loved the past two chapters ! I'm glad you really love this story! It means a lot!**

**PAMY – MY LOVE! Here. I'm glad you enjoyed! BMS should be up soon too btw! Probably tomorrow night if not Wednesday morning!**

**Cici – I HAVE HEARD THAT SONG! I love it! I'm so glad that you like everything! I hope you love this one too!**

**Shawsters – hehehe… that's all huh?**

**Soapy – hehe! I am a romantic, what can I say?**

**Insomatic-studios – HAHA… doesn't that 20 seconds of courage thing sound familiar? Isn't that what I tell you?!**

**OTHangels - =D glad you like**

**Rileygirl1 – I can't handle angst. Cannot do it. There will be some stuff that happens but we have enough that happens on the show!**

**Thatgirlkatie – and like I said- this is for you!**

**ALL MY GUEST READERS I LOVE YOU! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK EVEN IF ITS JUST ONCE! YOU MAKE MY WORLD GO ROUND!**

**Love You all!**

* * *

"Whatcha thinking about? "She asked softly as she nuzzled her head into my chest.

"Life."

"What about the big bad life?" She questioned again as she traced the inside of my palm.

"How quickly it can change."

We had decided to go back to the house and change shortly after my heart-felt admission. We hadn't even taken the bags upstairs. We simply changed out of our dresses and into comfortable sweats and then ventured back to the beach. I was sitting on one of her aunt's layout beach chairs and Emily was sitting between my legs, resting her head against my chest as I leaned against the back of the lounge chair. Emily had grabbed a blanket from her aunt's trunk in the living room and once we had sat down on the chair together she draped the warm knitted fabric over us. It had been nearly three hours since we had initially sat down but neither of us had any desire to go anywhere. I reveled in the feeling of just having her in my arms and having her hands on my skin. This is what I had wanted for so long but could never bring myself to have. But Emily...Emily turned it all around. Even though I was holding her, she was always holding me.

The sun rose up over the ocean casting a yellow, pink and orange glow over the choppy water. The view that we were privileged to mirrored a painting I had seen somewhere - only this view was better than any oil on canvas. The oils could never capture the emotion I was feeling...could never capture the sweet aroma of Emily and salt water that filled my nostrils...could never capture the view of long dark strands of silk-like hair flowing in the air as the wind blew. Most of all, no painting could capture the love and absolute contentment that flowed between Emily and me.

"We stayed up all night..."

'Yea...we did didn't we?" I replied tightening my arms around her.

"Did you want to go to bed?"

I pondered the question for a moment before answering.

"Are you tired?"

I felt her head shake 'no'.

"Honestly, I wouldn't mind grabbing some coffee and coming back here and just spending the day with you. We can sleep tonight. It wouldn't be the first time we've stayed up all night."

"Sounds perfect."

"Did you want to get up so we can get it?"

She pressed herself back firmly into me, sighing as her head snuggled against my breast.

"Not really."

I smiled and kept my arms locked onto hers and before I realized it, we both drifted to sleep.

* * *

"Do we have to leave?" I asked as we walked along the shore.

Emily and I had slept a good three hours before waking - in the same position we had fallen asleep in. We had gone into town for coffee and breakfast and walked along the boardwalk that we had walked on the first time we were there. I bought us each a bracelet made of strips of black hide braided together and in the center was a pendant of a dolphin that hung down a little. Emily saw the bracelet and nearly squealed and I decided to buy her one and myself one - that way we always had a part of each other with us no matter what.

"I wish we didn't have to," She replied.

It was midafternoon and the sun was beating down on us making the sand warm underneath of our feet even though the air was still breezy. We held hands as we strolled along the warm sand - the tide breaking over our bare feet occasionally. The direct sun made it a fairly warm day and so we were both in tank tops and shorts - we both figured that it would get cooler as the sun went down but while it was still afternoon, minimal clothing worked.

Emily let go of my hand and walked further into the water - just till the tide hit her knees. She walked through the water begging me to come join her. I knew how cold the water was on my feet and so I could only imagine how cold it would be on the rest of my legs

"You're crazy fields!" I yelled at her.

"Come on. It's not that bad! Trust me!"

"No way! I know how cold it is! It's not summer anymore!"

The pouty look on her face filled me with laughter. As I turned to continue walking -still chuckling - I felt a splash of water against my back. It was frigid. I turned around in disbelief and found Emily crouched down, her hands underneath the cold liquid.

"Come in!"

"No way!"

She quirked an eyebrow at me and acted like she was going to splash water at me.

"You wouldn't..."

"I think we both know... I would!" she screamed the last part as she moved her hands swiftly against the top of the water effectively splashing me with enough liquid to soak my tank and most of my shorts.

"That's it!" I rebutted.

I ran toward her and grabbed her waist before lifting her up onto my shoulder and rushing us further into the freezing ocean. As I reached a deeper level, I tossed her into the water. I didn't see her resurface and that terrified me. Not because I thought she drowned but because I knew I was going under. I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind and before I realized it, I was pulled backwards into the water. I felt the sting of the cold around my shoulders and my neck – it completely took the breath from my lungs as I was submerged under.

I resurfaced quickly – the tide pushed me a tad closer to shore. I wiped the water from my face and saw Emily standing only a couple feet away laughing. She was walking towards me. I stood up quickly and lunged towards her – hooking my arm across her waist and pulling her under the surface along with me as I re-submerged. We fought in the shallow tide underwater – a mess of tangled limbs and short inhales when our faces would occasionally resurface. The tide carried our buoyant bodies to shore and we continued the battle on the wet sand.

What began as a water battle fed into a battle for dominance as she straddled my hips and pinned me down but then when the tide washed over us, I used the strength of the tide water to dismount her and press her body underneath mine. I laid my body half on top of hers as my hands searched for ticklish spots. I was fortunate in finding that Emily was ticklish everywhere. She shrieked as my hands began lightly pinching at her sides – the tide breakers washing over the lower half of our prostrate bodies. Emily tried to squirm away but out of reflex I straddled her right leg and pinned her arms down above her head.

As I looked down at her, I noticed that her breath was short…ragged…shallow. Her eyes had darkened and she had a flush that crept over her cheeks and had spread across her face. I lowered my head and fused our lips together fiercely – my tongue immediately seeking entrance into her warm mouth. She parted her lips and began immediately dueling with my languid muscle. My hands forgot all about holding her arms above her head and they began to have a mind and will of their own. My fingertips trailed down the insides of her arms as they moved to hold my hair. I pressed my hands down her sides and rested my full hands on the outsides of her hips as our tongues switched venues for the continuous duel. As her tongue entered my mouth I stole her trick and captured it with my lips before sucking gently on it.

I heard Emily moan aloud and I could feel myself instantly become wet at the sound – the wetness between my thighs distinctively different from the wetness of the water that had been crashing over us. The water had soaked her tank top and so it was bunching up against her breasts - exposing the naked skin of her toned tan stomach. As we continued to drink in each other, my hands continued to explore. I felt the softness of her skin in contrast to the grittiness of the sand that was transferring onto her. My forearms were blotted with sand patches but I didn't care. I let my fingers trace patterns on her exposed stomach and I moaned into her mouth when I felt her muscles jump at my touch.

My moan ignited something in Emily. She used the slight buoyancy leverage of the next wave that crashed over us and flipped me onto my back – the harder yet water-logged sand acting as memory foam to my muscles on impact. She embedded her hands into my hair and kissed me hungrily – my hands roaming under her soaked tank top. The skin of her nude back was exquisite – nearly euphoric. Her body pressed roughly against mine as we kissed hungrily. I felt her tongue explore every crevice of my mouth before she guided me into hers. She returned the favor from my own kiss and sucked heatedly on the tip of my tongue as it breached her hot cave once again.

She moved one of her hands down from my hair and reached under my tank before roughly dragging her fingertips across the firm skin located there. My hips bucked automatically in response and my brain kicked into overdrive. I knew I had to stop this. If I didn't stop this then something could happen that I wasn't ready for. I didn't want to let her go and if she turned me on any more than I wouldn't be able to control my reactions. I let her toy with the skin of my stomach for a few more moments before using all the strength I had and flipping us over once again. I pulled my mouth away from hers for a moment before diving back in for several slower and softer kisses.

As the kisses slowed, so did my brain and my body. I could feel her body relax under lazy caresses and lazy kisses. I braced myself on one elbow and looked into her deep brown eyes. I could stare into those eyes for all eternity and never become bored or lost. I felt home with her. I fused our lips together for a brief moment before extracting myself from her body and running towards the middle of the tide breakers. I dragged my arms across the top of the surface – causing a large spray to fall over Emily's rather warm form. She shirked loudly and began to stand up. By the time she got to her feet, I took off running the shore. She was faster in the water than me, but on land I could always out run her.

* * *

"Did you girls have a good time?"

"Yea…we really did," Emily replied to her mother smiling back at me. "Mom, do you mind if Paige stays here tonight? Her parents are out and it's really late."

We finally had the energy to drag ourselves away from the beach house at about 6pm. We stopped for dinner at this little café that we found on the way home and by the time we had arrived in Emily's driveway it was nearly half-passed 9. I knew that I had plenty of time to get back to my place – It wasn't that far of a walk but something told me that Emily had an ulterior motive for wanting me to stay over. I didn't know about her but I always slept better when we were simply in the same room – even when we hadn't been together. From the first weekend that we slept in the same bed I had slept better than sleeping alone in my own room.

"I don't see why that would be a problem."

"Thanks mom!" Emily beamed giving her mom a grateful hug before grabbing my hand and starting towards the stairs.

"Emmy…wait a second," Pam called after us.

Emily gave me an 'oh shit' look and slowly turned around and reentered the kitchen.

"Yea?"

"Are you girls…you know… are you two?"

I could tell she was slightly uncomfortable saying the words aloud but she seemed to have a pleasant expression upon her face. I watched as Emily looked me with wide eyes. She was looking for an answer. I didn't want to lie to her mom but I wasn't ready to come out to everyone in the state yet. Still, I nodded at Emily hoping that she would understand the meaning. She took a seat at the table and I followed sitting beside her.

"Mom… Paige and I are together. But her parent's don't know. She hasn't told them that she likes girls yet and I am not going to push her until she is ready. I don't want to lie to you - which is why I am telling you," Emily grabbed my hand for support. "But could you please just keep this between us?"

Emily's mom appeared to mull over what Emily had revealed before nodding in our direction. She looked over at me and began to speak.

"Paige, I don't mind that you are over here. But why haven't you told your parents?"

I cleared my throat a couple of times before regaining the ability to speak. "I…I… you see my dad's a deacon and this corporate big shot. If he found out….well, it would throw off everything that I've known. My parents don't understand. And…and… I've only just told Emily last weekend."

"You girls have only been seeing each other a week?"

Emily and I both nodded.

"I could have sworn you two had been seeing each other for the past month with the way you've been acting around each other. Okay…so here's the rules. Paige, I don't mind that you stay over if I am here. Emily – I want the door open. It's not to shut. But since I know that there are many days that I am not here and that you parents are not around," she glanced between Emily and me, "I cannot restrict you so much. Emily, I trust that you can make your own decisions, I just hope that you make them wisely – and the same goes for you Paige. You've been a part of this family since you moved and from the first time I met you, I've liked you. But I want you girls to be safe and careful."

"Mom…." Emily pleaded.

"I'm sorry honey. I just… I didn't think I'd have to give my daughter and her girlfriend 'the talk'."

"You don't! We promise."

I could feel my face flushing as soon as Emily's mom began to speak.

"Okay that's it... go to bed. You two have school tomorrow. O – And Paige?"

"Yea?" I asked turning around.

"If you ever need someone to talk to – as a mom – I'm here. I know I wasn't the best when Emily first came out but I'd like to think I've gotten better."

My face softened at her mom's offer and I immediately closed the distance between us as I hugged her tightly. I hadn't had a true 'mom' hug in years and it felt so good to feel the older yet comforting arms surround me.

"Thanks… "

"Thanks Mom. I love you," Emily smiled giving her mom an equally heart-felt hug. "Come on, McCullers. We have practice in the morning!"

"You do know that just because I said 'I love you' doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you, right?" I asked as we breached her bedroom.

She turned around and pinned me against the wall before kissing me hard on the lips.

"Who said anything about going easy?"


	18. Chapter 18

**HELLO MY LOVES!**

**Sorry its been awhile! I have had a CRAZY freaking week... between a TON of Biology work, Psych work and a stupid system upgrade at work... I was up to my ears! THEN i start writing and my computer completely crashed! I need hugs and lots of them!**

**Okay so let me know what you think! Also, hopefully a chapter of Burn My Skin will be up soon. I have it almost completed... but i have to find it. THANK GOD FOR BACK UP HARD-DRIVES! OOOOOOO and one more thing... I wrote something that started off as just something "fun"... and it turned into something very...umm... interesting. I have a new fic up - called Fire Within. Check it out. Its a little unusual. It probably sucks but it was just something that i had to write down - i was in one of those moods. Let me know what you think about it!**

**Cici - I love the Paily moments at the beach! Maybe i'll have them fly to California for spring break?!**

**Glorymania - HI LOVE! I was wondering where the hell you were! YAY! I was wondering if you were going to ever get an account! You really think so? I don't like stories to be bland. They have to have some type of dynamic in them... setting is a big part of that. I'm so glad that you love this... I have no idea where things are heading but my brain is certain on the task of figuring it out! So I am just as interested to see what my muse has in store! Do me a favor and tell me what you think of Fire Within. Your opinion means a great deal and that was one that was super easy to write but i have NEVER written anything like it before. It is realy odd...**

**AnGeluz - I'm seriously blushing...like hard core. Love, your English is nearly perfect! Where's my BMS review?! LOL O tell me what you think of Fire Within too! And Thank you for all the compliments. I'm smiling from ear to ear!**

**PAMY - MY LOVE! My brain is a surprise box isn't it? I'm surprised even as I write! I'm working on BMS now... But in the meantime, check out Fire Within...may hold you over!**

**Del - its hard to do a Pam/Emily scene cause this is paige's POV. but i may have some tricks up my sleeve on it. I've been thinking about it! My brain is working out some details. trust me!**

**insomatic-studios - hi love! it really really could have! lol. GOd knows it would have for me! LOL. I kinda see Pam as being a lot like my mom. They are both very similiar - in all kinds of ways. So I'm incorporating what i know my mom to be like into Pam. I really think its going to make a good story line. O and by the way- you need to get on AIM ...we need to talk... got your email... one word... WOW. SO SO SO SO SO SO much better! I thought i was reading Ameb Benson's work... **

**take-everything-and-more - UH HUH! I love it too...**

**thatgirlkatie - i'm glad you liked the water fight my dear. That was all for you! Hope you like this one too - sorry it was so late. but i did tell you that you may have a present when you woke and guess what... you shouldn't be awake just yet...it's only like 730am there!**

** - she does! I love that woman! I hope you like this chapter too!**

**adorablepancreas - okay woman...seriously? every time i type 'adorable pancreas' i go 'wtf'... where did the sn come from? and i'm glad you like the chapter! I EXPECT PEACHES TO BE UP SOON! I'm going through withdrawal.**

**Brennaninbeckettsbed - god i hope i got that sn correct... DID YOU CHECK IT OUT?! What did you think?**

**Okay, I think that is everyone! LOL**

**I'm sorry if there are typos in this part... i'm too lazy to put it through MS Word Spell check...**

**LOVE YOU ALL **

**ALL MY NON-REVIEWERS - let me know what you think! PLEASEEEEEEEEE Its like AIR to me!**

* * *

"God-freaking dammit!" I groaned in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked in concern putting down _A Brave New World_

"I don't get it. I just don't get it!" I slammed my book shut and let my head fall onto the hard cover. "Ow."

"Awww. Come here..."

I pushed my math book off the side of the bed – not caring that it fell to the ground with a loud 'thud' and crawled towards Emily who was sitting against the pillows by her headboard.

"It hurts," I whispered once I reached her side and snuggled into her.

'What hurts?" she asked curiously

I simply pointed to my head - indicated that my brain hurt.

"Aww," she leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "Better?"

I shook my head.

She leaned down and kissed my temple. "Better yet?"

I shook my head once again.

"Hmmm…" she pretended to be deep in thought before she leaned down and kissed just below my ear adding a small bite to the flesh.

I moaned lightly at the contact.

"Better?"

I couldn't think or breathe for several moments. Emily always had a way of making my head spin and making me forget everything that unnerved me. I nodded – very delayed – in response to her question as I repositioned myself to lie on her chest close to her heart beat.

"Why is math necessary?" I asked in defeat.

"Beats me. It's not my favorite subject either."

"But at least you understand it… I mean, it's always been the one subject I could never understand...and yet I'm in freaking Calculus... I really wish my father didn't pick my courses for me"

"Why did he pick your courses for you?" she questioned.

"When we moved… I didn't even know we were moving until the weekend before. He had everything set – and I mean everything. I was put on the swim team, my classes were picked out and all I had to do was 'show up' so he put it."

"That's messed up. I mean, my parents have some say in what I take, but mostly it's my decision."

"I wish."

"Well, maybe Spencer can help you? You know she's like the national role model for the perfect student. And if anyone understands parental academic pressure…it's her."

"Do you think she would?"

"I don't see why not… she's helped us all out on more than one occasion."

I let out a sigh and nodded. "Okay…"

"Come up here," she said pulling at me. "Let me see if I can't get you to…relax," She continued with a quirked eyebrow and that glare that sent shivers up my spine.

I shifted around so I straddled her hips and I let her pull my head down so our lips could crash together. Our lips moved in harmony for several moments – simply dancing with each other lazily until she bit at my lip – silently begging for permission. I opened my mouth slightly and her eager tongue dove into my hot cave immediately seeking out a duel with its mate. Her tongue swirled around mine and every time I tangled my muscle with hers, she pushed it down showing her win of dominance. As much as I hated that she was in control of the kiss, I could help but give her that control. She had a way of making me relinquish every ounce of competition when she kissed me like this - mostly because every time she kissed me I felt beyond light headed and nearly passed out.

She held my hips with her hands as our bodies innately rocked together. As the duel of tongues moved into my mouth, she slowly began moving her fingers up my shirt – taking the fabric with her. I felt her soft skin on my naked sides and back as she drew me in closer. My resolve completely diminished at her touch. With a dizzy mind, I let her lift my shirt from my body – our kiss breaking for only a second. Her hot hands trailed down my sides and the skin on skin contact made me weak. My body fell into hers – and I could feel a smile creep on her lips as our tongues battled.

It was nearing the end of November and the fall semester was only weeks from being over. We had a regional swim meet after Thanksgiving break – which was just the following week. Coach had given us direct orders to keep our "butts" in the pool over the time that school was out and she even set up times that we had to practice in the school gym during our days off. We all complied although I'd much rather be at home in my pool with Emily, however being as it was becoming fairly cold – and my parents had finally drained the pool – that was an impossible task.

It'd been just over a month since we had first kissed and no matter how much I saw her or how many times I thought of her – I found it was never enough. In the past five weeks we figured out more ways to be together but yet still keep it from my parents. We had figured out ways to be able to show our affections if we were in public – granted we were usually off to the side or discretely playing with each other's fingers as our friends surrounded us, but it worked for now. Emily came over to my house many times during the periods when my parents were out of town and Emily's mom allowed me over on more than one occasion. Her mom made it a point always to ask me how I was doing, if I needed anything and always reminded me that if I did need anything she was there. It was almost like she was becoming a surrogate mother to me and that was something I never expected to happen.

Throughout the month's time, nothing had changed with my parents - they still left nearly every weekend and when they were home my father would simply drill me about my grades or my times in the pool. As much as Emily detested how little involved my parents were in my life, I really didn't mind If them being gone meant I could have a little bit of freedom verses the alternative of my father constantly hovering over me...then so be it. Emily was especially pissed off when I told her that my parents were flying across the country over thanksgiving break. I remember seeing her eyes turn a shade that neared a red tint - it almost frightened me. She told me that she was going to see if I could spend Thanksgiving break with her family, but I shook my head at the idea and told her that I was happy seeing her when I could but it was a time for family and she needed to be with her family during the holiday. It helped that I was in the running for swim captain and therefore coach had already given me a set of keys to the school pool.

Our kiss slowed and heated back up in intervals. I could feel her nails lightly graze my back and it was heavenly. She scooted down the bed and I followed so that she could lay full back on the covered mattress. She pushed her books to the side and the haphazardly fell to the floor. We laid with legs tangled together and our arms wrapped about each other - our kiss deepening as we positioned ourselves flat on the bed. Her tongue dueled with mine intensely - never letting up. I could tell that she wanted to make me forget everything and she was fairly close to that.

She began to sit up and roll us over until I was lying flat on my back and she was hovering over me. Her hands trailed down my body lightly appreciating every line and every scar. Her fingers lingered on the scars of my stomach – tracing each one. The first time that she had done that I became extremely self-conscious but she insisted that I needed to know that she loved every single thing about me. She warned me that one day she was going to kiss each scar and look at them up close. The thought made me shiver. She broke our kiss briefly before looking into my eyes.

"I love you."

I beamed up at her and lifted my head to catch her lips with mine. She pressed her body down firm so I could feel her perfect form melt into me. Our tongues danced together and as the kiss heated, our bodies began rocking together slightly. Her hands rested on my covered breasts and then trailed down my bare sides. I let my fingertips search for the hem of her shirt and I began moving it upwards tentatively. I had seen her in her bra before...hell we had made out with her just in her bra but I was still very tentative about my movements. I never wanted to do anything wrong.

"Emmy? You here?"

Our lips broke apart instantly at the sound of Emily's mom calling through the house. We heard footsteps on the stairs and my eyes widened. I knew I was allowed to be in her room, but I was not allowed to be shirtless and underneath of her.

"Paige!' Emily mouthed as she threw me the once discarded shirt.

I hurriedly put on the shirt and quickly combed my fingers through my hair before lying on my stomach at the foot of the bed. Emily had rushed off the bed and picked up all of our books before resuming her previous position against the headboard.

"Hi girls."

"Hi mom!"

I always admired Emily's cool. In sticky situations she was always calm and collective. No one ever thought she was hiding anything. I, on the other hand, always showed my emotions on my face and so that was why as soon as her mom stepped into the doorway, I immediately let my head fall to my math book - pretending that I was working on something insanely difficult.

"So you may be interested to see what I pick up off the street..."

I lifted my head and saw a man step into view. He was tall and had broad shoulders. I could tell right away that he was a military man by his stance. He was darker skinned - like Emily - and his coal black hair was perfectly formed at his hair line in a short crew up. As I observed the man, I saw Emily jump from the bed and race to him - throwing her arms around him hastily. For a brief moment I wondered what it would be like to actually get a hug from my dad, but as I sat up I shook my head to rid myself of such thoughts.

"Dad! This is Paige..." Emily giddily introduced us as she had one hand on her dad's shoulder and one hand outstretched towards me.

I got off the bed and stood up facing her father.

"Hi Mr. Fields. I'm Paige McCullers," I said in my most formal voice with an outstretched hand.

He took my extended hand into his and shook my hand firmly. "It's nice to meet you Paige. I've heard so much about you."

My face must have lit up in horror. "I'm not sure if that's good or bad," I said honestly.

"All good things, I promise."

"I'm so glad you are home, Dad!" Emily cried hugging her father tightly.

"I should go...give you guys some family time," I said as I began to pick up my books.

"Are you folks home, Paige?" Pam asked me.

I shook my head.

"Then you'll have dinner here."

"No... I can't. Mr. Field's hasn't been home in forever. I can't intrude."

"I insist, Paige." Mr. Fields directed towards me.

I looked at Emily and saw her nod with a smile and then my eyes redirected back to her father. "Oh...okay. If you sure it's not an inconvenience..."

"Most definitely not," Pam assured me touching my arm gently. "You're a part of the family, Paige."

I smiled weakly and looked to the floor for a moment before Emily began speaking.

"Dad, I have so much to tell you! But... I have to ask something of you two first..."

"What is it Emmy?" her father asked.

"Well," she began as she walked towards me and grabbed my hand. "Paige's parents are going to be gone all next week. They are flying across the country and... I was wondering if she could stay here...you know just for company and for the holiday?"

"Paige? Your parent's don't want you with them for the holiday?" Mr. Fields asked me.

"Well you see my dad has a big conference in Utah next week and because we have school for two days out of the week he wanted me to stay home so I could continue school and um... be in the school pool because he...uh... doesn't think my times are good enough..." I trailed off.

"Which is a lie, Dad. Paige and I have beaten every record placed in Rosewood! Paige single handedly beat the backstroke record by 3 whole seconds!"

"I know Emmy, you mom already told me."

"Emily, I don't want to impose on your parents. I didn't ask to come. I'll be fine at home. I'll probably be at the school pool most of the week anyways," I rambled.

"Okay, enough... I've heard enough," Pam spoke up for the first time since Emily asked her question.

I looked down at the ground. I really wish Emily wouldn't have said anything - at least not while I was there. I didn't want to feel like a charity case. Her father just came home and he must be so anxious to spend some alone time with his family and he most certainly did not need me standing in the way of that.

"First off - Paige, look at me."

I looked at Emily's mom.

"Do not look down. Looking down is a sign of guilt and insecurity and you have no reason to feel guilty or insecure. You keep your head up when you are in this house. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," I answered keeping my gaze on her.

"Secondly, I am very upset with your parents and I wish that they would take a more active role in your life. However, I see that their active role is making you work harder. You do not need to be at the school pool all of next week. Your times are perfect and you do not have to be the best of everything. There is nothing wrong with winning but if you do your best and you don't win, you need to feel proud of yourself. Is that clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Thirdly, you are 17 years old am I right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"You do not need to be home alone for a week. Strange things can happen in this town. You will stay here. We do not have an extra guest room so I am going to trust that the two of you be on your best behavior. You both know the rules of this house and what will and will not be tolerated. I am trusting you to uphold those rules. But you are not staying at your house for a week straight alone. The only reason I left Emily alone last month was because I figured that the two of you would be together or that she would be over at Hanna's or Aria's. Is that clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"When do your parents leave?"

"Umm... Friday," I mumbled.

"You need to speak up, Paige."

"Friday," I choked out.

"Then I expect you here Friday night and you will stay here until your parent's return. I am going to call your parents and make the arrangements. Don't worry about it; I will take care of it."

"Yes ma'am."

"Okay... now the two of you finish studying. Emily, your father and I are going to go downstairs and we'll probably order pizza. I'll let you two know when it gets here."

"Okay mom!"

"Paige?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"You're staying for dinner."

"Yes, ma'am."

"One more thing, dear..."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Stop calling me 'ma'am'. I'm not that old," she said with a small chuckle.

"Yes ma'am..."

She gave me a pointed look.

"I mean...yes...okay... I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize."

With one last hug and kiss to her father, Emily's parent's left the room and Emily shut the door behind them.

"I can't believe you asked them to have me stay!"

"What? It wasn't that bad! You can stay!" She rebutted throwing her arms around my neck.

I held her waist and pulled her towards so our lips were only but an inch apart.

"I know but... now I feel like a charity case..."

"You are not a charity case, okay?" She questioned tugging at my hips. "You are my girlfriend and apparently a part of this family… "

"Does that mean I'm stuck with you?"

"Yep!" she beamed.

"Damn…"

"Hey!" she yelled slapping my arm playfully.

I giggled at her fierceness.

"Come here," she ordered just before grabbing the back of my head and smashing our lips together.

The brief yet passionate kiss left my breathless as she pulled away.

"Wow…." I whispered softly.

"Those never get old…" she agreed.

I shook my head and pressed my lips against her once more.

"Mmmm," she sighed after our lips broke. "Let's get the rest of our homework done…. Text spencer and see if she'll be willing to help you."

"Do I have to?"

"Do you like kissing me?"

I grabbed her hips and melded our bodies together and leaned in to kiss her. She pulled away and my lips met her soft cheek.

"Very much…" I pouted wondering why she had pulled away.

She smirked at me. "Then yes…you have to."

"Not fair!"

"Life isn't fair McCullers…"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

She laughed at me and sat down on her bed as I grabbed my phone to text Spencer.

"Just see if she can come here…"

"Em, I don't want to bombard your parents…."

"Actually, I need help with some of my math too… and don't worry about my parents. They have this ritual… after our first dinner together – they go out. I don't know what they do and I've never ever wanted to ask."

I shook my head violently. That was one image I didn't need in my head. Emily laughed loudly at my actions.

"Just see if she can come by around 7 or so… we should be done with dinner by then."

"Why don't you text her?" I asked.

"Because she's probably sick of me asking for help so I figured I'd just sneak it in once she gets here," she giggled.

"Brat."

She shrugged and went on to read the novel for her English Literature class with a sly smile.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys... I know this has been FOREVER and I'm sorry about that. It's been like almost 10 days. I have been going through a whole hell of a lot and it affected my ability to write or think clearly. I ended up taking a spur of the moment trip to San Diego and just let the waves consume me over and over again. I'm feeling better - not perfect but better. **

**Guest - AWWW YAY I'm glad you like it! I'm sorry your heart stopped through! But at least you only had to wait two days!**

**AgnesAurelia - I'm so glad you like it and the fact that you think i keep true to their characters just means the world to me. Absolutely the world. Thank you so much!**

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**glorymania - its updated! lol happy?**

**cici - it does me too - i wanted to kind of show that though...the differences in things... I'm glad you like!**

**Del - I'm so glad that you like! we are going to see more of everyone... this time i just didn't have the thought process to write it. but just wait. i think you'll like this chapter...maybe**

**Pamy - hehe... i don't think ANYONE can wait for their first time... lol**

**insomatic-studios - hello love... well, just wait...just see... lol**

**SailorMars009 - I kept wanting to type "Sailor Moon"... you know...the show...or wait am i showing my age? LOL I'm really glad that you love this and THANKS! I don't think i'm anything fantastic but i'm glad you think so!**

**dotylink64 - next chapter! yay**

**Soapy - And you are the only person to say something... i was wondering who was going to... Pam tends to speak before she thinks and i wanted to bring out that flaw in her character. I agree - it was rude. I almost didn't write it that way. But, i wanted to keep true to her character. while she has grown - she still has that flaw and i wanted it to show.**

**frombelow - aww yay glad u liked!**

**dayabieberxo - its up! lemme know what you think!**

**rileygirl1 - it IS a painful build up... its all about control and anticpation my dear!**

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**Okay ya'll... Well, this is up. I wrote part of this while being a total wreck and most of it today. So go easy on me. Its probably not my best. **

**I love you all and i hope you still love me after this chapter!**

* * *

"Well done, Miss McCullers," the teacher said passing back our tests from the previous day.

I closed my eyes my eyes and took a breath before allowing myself to look down at the paper. My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat when I saw that the paper had a red B+ circled at the top. I nearly shrieked at the sight but decided I would wait until I wasn't in a classroom of my peers. The bell rang not too long after the tests were passed out and I hurriedly put my things in my bag and rushed out of the classroom. I nearly tripped on my way out the door – but I couldn't get to Emily's locker fast enough.

After practically sprinting down the corridor and into an adjacent hall, I finally neared Emily's locker. She and Spencer were talking while Emily exchanged her books. I took the few more steps towards them quickly and an approaching Emily, I held my test out in front of me and shoved it in her face. I heard an audible shriek by both girls – after Emily showed the paper to Spencer – and Emily and I began jumping up and down giddily.

"I'm so proud of you!" Emily squealed.

I smiled widely at Emily and turned to Spencer.

"Thank you so much Spencer! I couldn't have done this without you!"

"Oh, it was no big deal. You owe me coffee though… I gotta get to class. Em – talk later?"

Emily nodded and Spencer turned and walked away.

"I think…" I began as she grabbed her purse from the locker and shut the door. "That this calls for a celebration."

She quirked an eyebrow.

"What kind of celebration?"

"Well…" I started looking around the hallway to ensure no one was watching before closing the distance between us a little. "It's the beginning of our week together… and…"

"Yea?"

"I thought maybe we could get a jump start on it?"

"Paige, it's barely noon…"

"I know…"

"We have like 3 more classes to get through…"

I nodded. "But we have to pack all of my stuff…"

"You're not moving in."

"I am for a week."

"Yea, but…"

I rolled my eyes and leaned into her ear. "Emily Field. I really really want to kiss you and celebrate this. So can we just go back to my place so I can do that?"

"What about your parents?"

"They're gone... left this morning."

She looked around hesitantly before speaking. "Okay...let's go."

I didn't take anything to school with me but my bag and I had all of my homework with me already - which was a good thing because my locker was on the other side of the hall...which meant more opportunity to get caught leaving.. We snuck down the now quiet hall and raced towards the annex - both watching for anyone in sight. We got to the girl's locker room through a back entrance that we had found one day after goofing off and snuck out the heavy metal door which led to the parking lot adjacent to the gymnasium. My Jeep was parked in one of the first spots - seeing as I had picked Emily up early that morning and we both had swam a few laps in the pool before class.

As we made our way to the green vehicle - which now had my essential covering over the normally open sides - strangled laugher filled the air. We both opened our respective doors and fell into the seats laughing. I hurriedly regained my composure and turned the car on - leaving the parking lot and driving out the road and towards my humble abode.

"Paige, you are crazy..." she said for the 5th time since leaving school as we ran up the stairs to go into my room.

"But that's what makes me so special," I responded following her into my room and grabbing at her hips to still her and pull her towards me.

I wrapped my arms around her once she was close to me and held her tightly - leaning my head on her shoulder. I could feel our bodies melded together and I couldn't believe that I was standing with this amazing woman in my bedroom. I was never letting her go.

I lifted off her shoulder and stared into her eyes. "You're beautiful."

She blushed before kissing my lips lightly. I took the opportunity to take hold of her bottom lip and suck gently - eliciting a moan from the back of her throat. I eased her back towards my bed as we continued to move our lips in time with one another - taking turns teasing with light sucks or gently bites. I knew when we reached the bed because she fell backwards - pulling me on top of her - our legs tangling in the process.

Her hands found the hem of my t-shirt and began slowly pulling the fabric upwards and over my head. Our kiss broke for a mere second before our lips and tongues resumed and her cool hands began tracing the soft pale skin of my lower back. She rolled us over and straddled my hips as she removed her lips from mine and began a vigorous assault on my sensitive neck. My hands followed a similar path as hers previously did and I found the hem of her long sleeve purple shirt. I pulled the shirt up and over her head - her dark locks falling all around us. She took the break in contact to switch targets - her lips insistently trailing down to my collar bone.

I pushed away her hair before letting the palms of my hands press into her firm yet soft dark skin. Her lips trailed back to my pulse point and as she took one hard suck at the skin, a small moan escaped my lips. I could feel her smiling as she continued to worship my neck. With a new found adrenaline rush, I rolled us back over into our original position and straddled one of her thighs. Her lips were effectively removed from my neck by the movements of the position switch and I took the opportunity to begin my own exploration of her silk skin.

My lips kissed her skin just below her ear and as I trailed downwards, my tongue snaked out from its confinement and left a slight wet trail. She tasted of vanilla and lavender on my tongue. As I reached her pulse point, I could feel the flush of her skin heat my lips and instinctively I bit down on the nimble flesh. I could immediately feel her hands grip at the muscles beneath the flesh of my back - pulling me into her. My own hands trailed down each of her sides firmly - rubbing the exposed skin and following down to her covered hips -gripping at the fabric that covered her moving hips.

It wasn't until my hands rested on the sides of her hips that I realized our bodies were rocking together. My thigh had -on its own accord - settled between hers. I focused on our bodies for a moment as I took in how we were positioned. My lips left her neck and I looked down at her - her eyes were much darker than normal and her lips were parted slightly. Her breath was labored - almost as if she had to thoroughly concentrate on taking in one breath after another. She lifted her upper half up and caught my lips in a searing kiss - causing my body to fall back on top of her but she used her leverage to flip us once more.

As she landed on top of me, her thigh pressed firmly into my center by accident and very new sensation caused me to gasp loudly into our kiss. Regardless whether she planned it or not, I could tell by the upward turn of the edges of her lips she was proud. She grabbed my wrists lightly and pinned them above my head. I couldn't believe that this goddess was lying atop me - kissing me...feeling me...wanting me. Her body felt like sheer fire moving against mine. We moved in perfect sync - our hips rocking against each other in time.

The rocking provided some relief to the undeniable ache that settled between my legs but that's all it would do. It seemed that every time we were together, we got closer and closer but neither of us felt the need to rush. Emily moved the tongue battle into her mouth and as my tongue breached her lips, she enclosed around it and gently sucked at the tip causing a throaty moan to escape. I just couldn't keep my reserve up when it came to her. She brought all of the walls…all of the facades…all of my appearances down in an instant. She let go of my tongue and I explored her hot cave frantically as her hips met and parted with mine – our thighs doing their best to ease the settled frustration.

"Paige!"

We jolted up at the deep booming sound of the male voice. As Emily's body sprang away from mine, I looked over towards the door and saw my father standing stiffly at my bedroom door - his face red with fury and his eyes dark with anger. I froze in place on the bed - sitting up on my elbows. I could feel both sets of eyes upon me – Emily's and my fathers. Emily's eyes were comforting but my father's eyes were impaling.

"Downstairs. Now."

With his last word, he turned on his heel and quickly descended the stairs.

My heart raced in my chest and just as I was frozen to the bed, Emily was frozen to the desk which she leaned upon. I couldn't bring myself to look at her but she was staring directly at me. My worst fears just unfolded in front of my eyes and I had no idea what I was going to do or what was going to happen. I began trembling as the fear overtook me – tears free-falling down my cheeks.

"That did not just happen…" I choked out.

Emily crossed the room and took me into her arms – her entire body engulfing my trembling form. I buried my head into her shoulder and she simply ran her fingers through the edges of my hair. I latched onto her for dear life and all I wanted to do was sink into her forever. Everything was okay as long as she was holding me up.

She eased her embrace and quickly grabbed my t-shirt from the floor before putting it over my head and guiding my arms through the holes.

"Listen to me, Paige. You've gotta get down there or its going to be worse," She began putting her own shirt back on. "I will stay right there with you if you want…"

I shook my head. I knew my father would be even worse if she was there and I didn't want her to be subjected to that.

"I can stay right outside…"

I shook my head again. "N…no you should g…go home."

"I'm not leaving here, Paige."

I looked into Emily's eyes and I could see the tears well up at the corners. "Okay… just…pretend that you left. Don't let my dad see you outside, please…." I begged.

She held my face and rested her forehead against me before breathing against my lips. "I won't. I promise."

With her promise, she sealed the deal with a kiss – her lips fusing all of her into me. She broke the kiss but kept her eyes closed.

"I love you, Paige."

I felt the world come crashing into me and my hands immediately flew to her face and hair. "I love you too," I breathed.

She kissed me one last time and fled my room to leave.

I looked in my mirror and took a deep breath before heading downstairs to the living room.

As I breached the bottom of the stairs, I heard the front door open and close – I knew Emily had gotten out without much hassle. I walked tentatively through the hall and saw that no one was in the living room so I continued to the front room. I rounded the corner to the sitting room where my mother sat on the sofa and my father paced back and forth between the sofa and the coffee table. I stood hesitantly in the door way and when my father noticed I had descended from upstairs, his pacing stopped.

His face was scarlet –his eyes still dark. He looked at me with disgust and fury. I caught his eyes for a brief moment before looking at the ground – my hands immediately finding themselves interlocked behind my back. I heard him near as his footsteps loudly thudded against the hard wood floor. Breath naturally escaped me and I had to remind myself to inhale and exhale otherwise I could and would faint. I could hear him yelling at me, but I couldn't focus on the words. I continued to look at the floor even as I felt his face near mine – an intimidation tactic that he had used on me since I was little.

I looked over to my mother - she was still sitting on the leather sofa completely in tears. The last thing I ever wanted to do was disappoint her. I spent all of my life trying to live up to what my parents had wanted for me…and now…Emily was the first thing I had wanted for myself. I focused back in to my father's ranting and as I heard him degrade Emily by calling her various names, a surge of rage ignited in my spine.

"She is not! You call her a slut and a bitch and a no- good-for nothing homosexual well guess what! Then I guess I am too! You don't know anything about her!" I shouted back at my father.

I had no idea where the sudden courage came from, but I had stunned the 6'4 man into backing away from me. I took the newly found space as my own ground.

"I am not some child anymore dad! I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find out like that but I won't apologize for my actions. We weren't doing anything wrong!"

"The hell you weren't Paige! You were with another woman!"

"Are you telling me that you are angry with me that it is a girl and if you would have found me in the same position with a boy you wouldn't be just as pissed off?" I rebutted.

"No! I would be mad but that's not the point. You were with that lesbian!" he shouted at the top of his lungs down at me.

I wiped the spit away from my face and stood up straighter. "That _lesbian_ is one of the most kind-hearted people I know! She accepts me for who I am and I love her!"

"You most certainly do not, young lady"

"How dare you tell me what and what I don't feel! She is my girlfriend dad!"

He stopped where he stood. His eyes pieced right through me. They were cold like ice but yet completely ablaze.

"She's your what?" he said in an eerily calm manner.

I took a deep breath before beginning to speak again. "She's my girlfriend."

I stared into his eyes – refusing to back down. I had backed down to him all of my life.

He turned to the wall and punched the painted dry-wall causing a huge hole to rip through it.

"Get out."

I was taken aback – my eyes filling up with tears. "Wh…what?"

He turned to me with an unyielding expression. "Your mother and I will be gone until next Friday. I suggest you take that time to get your stuff and get out of my house."

He reached into his wallet and threw a handful of cash at me. "There. That should hold you."

"I don't want your fucking money!" I screamed at him before grabbing my bags which were sitting by the front door and bolting from the prison of a house.

I hoisted my book bag into my Jeep – which thankfully I had paid for myself – and got into the driver's seat. I buried my head onto the steering wheel as my one hand shakily attempted to put the key into the ignition. My sobs drowned out any other sound in the neighborhood but when I felt the slightest of pressures on my left arm I couldn't help but jump in my seat.

"Scoot over," the angel whispered.

I did as instructed and I felt her fasten my seatbelt over my waist before starting the car. She held one arm out encouraging me to bury myself under her wing – I complied. As she drove, the familiar scent embedded itself into my nostrils, finally calming my frantic brain and my sobs.


	20. Chapter 20

**HI MY LOVES!**

**Okay, so i'm not going to have time to reply to everyone individually as I usually do. It's late and i'm tired. But i did want to tell EVERY ONE OF YOU how thankful i am for all the feedback. I hope you all loved this past chapter and i hope you like this one too! You are all so special to me and your reviews are like my oxygen...**

**LOVE YOU ALL!**

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The rough bark collided with my moving fist leaving a brush burn and shallow scrapes on the skin. I didn't even cry as the wood cut through and allowed droplets of blood to surface and cover my knuckles. I had only stopped for a mere second to release my aggression out on an innocent before continuing to fight through the trees as I ran desperately through the woods. I brushed the stray bark pieces off of my knuckles and continued to dodge the tall life forms. I didn't pay attention to which direction I ran or how deep into the forest I was going. All I knew is that I need to run and I needed obstacles to overcome.

After Emily took over the wheel and we had driven a little ways, anger filled the void that shock and hurt left. I knew my father was serious. I had no home now. Emily did not know what had perspired in my -or rather my former - front room and I wasn't about to burden her with the news. She and her family had done and were doing plenty enough for me. I knew that I had one week to figure out where I was going and what I was doing. I had a million thoughts run through my head - the school, the street, sneaking into my parents' house at night to sleep and shower...even the pool house. When she drove passed my usual trail, I asked her to stop and before she could even put the Jeep in park, I had hopped out of the door - leaving her behind. As I headed full force towards the mouth of the forest, I heard the other car door slam shut and so I knew subconsciously that she was not too far behind me. I had decided that the cleared and open trail I had started running initially was not hard enough or strenuous enough. So about five strides into the original trail, I decided to go off track. I cut through a line of bushes and made my way into the untainted forest.

Tears streamed down my face as I ran the fight out of me. I pushed myself harder and harder. Step after step I cut through the trees - avoiding all of the things that tried to disrupt the sureness of my strides. I ducked to avoid low hanging branches and jumped over or stepped directly on upheaved roots. Branches of bushes scraped my sides and my arms as I fought passed them. Images of my father screaming at me, belittling me and finally disowning me flashed across my eyes. I could still smell his breath and taste the hate that he spat at me. With each passing moment of reliving his anger, the tears came harder and harder until my body broke down under the overwhelming sobs.

My vision was blurry with salt watered tears and subsequently I did not see the root that had lifted from the ground. I crashed face first into the leaf-covered dirt - my hands barely breaking my fall. I screamed loudly at the ground before I rolled onto my side and curled into myself as my sobs continued. The musky scent of the dirt permeated through me and I realized for the first time that it had started to rain.

Droplet after droplet landed on my flushed face. The rain smelled of acid and freedom and it burned my skin where it touched. When the scent changed I knew she was there. I could hear the leaves crunch beneath her as she knelt down at my side. She lifted my top form up slightly and rested my head and neck on her lap. Her hands soothed back the stray hairs that had plastered themselves to my face. The comforting touch soothed my sobs into sniffles as the light from the sun started to dim. In the time span I had shifted my body to be pressed against her as much as I could while half-way laying on her. Never once did she have to reposition - she held my weight with her own as it was nothing.

"We should get home...it's late," she softly spoke for the first time.

I chuckled involuntarily.

"Paige?"

I chided myself for allowing the chuckle to surface my lips but I just shook my head at her unspoken question as I started to get to my feet.

"No..." she pulled at my wrist causing me to sit back on the ground and face her. "Don't you dare tell me nothing. I know that look. What's going on?"

I wanted to tell her that nothing was wrong and that she was imagining it...but the look she had on her face made me know better than to lie to her. I didn't even know how to form the words to tell her my father kicked me out of the house. I opened and closed my mouth several times before gaining the courage to speak.

"You said..." I cleared my throat again. "Go home..."

She nodded. "Yea...well, I know it's not your home period but for the week. Hopefully that'll give your dad time to calm down before you go back to your actual home."

I shook my head. "I don't... "I looked down at my hands. "I don't have an actual home anymore."

I felt the air shift as her body stiffened beside me. "What? Look at me..."

I looked up at her with tears in my eyes.

"What do you mean you don't have a home anymore?"

I let out a breath. "I mean, I'm not allowed back there. My dad told me that I have this week to get my stuff and then that's it. He threw a bunch of money at me and I told him he could shove it and that's when I ran out."

I watched as her eyes narrowed in disgust. I could tell it wasn't directed at me, but still the look unnerved me. She let go of her grasp on my wrist and stood up before dusting herself off. I stood once I realized she started walking and I followed her lead. Our pace was much slower than the initial trek into the woods and as we made our way back, I noticed for the first time how far out I actually ran. The cool air filled my resting lungs. I couldn't remember if it had been this cool when I first started running or if the temperature dropped when the sun decided to fall.

We finally reached my Jeep and I headed for the driver's seat - only to be met with protest from Emily.

"Other side." she said pointing her finger to the passenger's seat.

"But...it's my car..." I rebutted with a half-smile.

"I don't care. Get in...Over there."

I relented and climbed into the passenger's seat. Before I knew it we had taken off and Emily was driving a little too fast for my comfort. She had determined features set and so I decided to simply remember to breathe and grip the handle of the door. I was not about to ask her to slow down.

We reached her street and she slowed significantly and so I took the opportunity to speak up.

"Em... I need clothes..."

"It's Friday. You can get clothes tomorrow. You have a couple things at my place...including your toothbrush," she said flatly.

She parked the Jeep in her usual spot and began running to her door. Before I could say anything, she had left me - outside...alone. I slowly opened my door and got out before making my way to her slightly opened front door. I could hear voices - mainly Emily's - coming from within the warm home. I opened the door and stepped inside. Even after closing the door behind me, I didn't leave the foyer.

"They kicked her out dad!" Emily screamed.

"What do you mean they kicked her out?" I heard Emily's mom's voice ring through the air.

"Just what I said."

"Okay Emmy...what happened?" The male voice calmly asked.

I could see part of Emily's back in the doorway of the kitchen. She pushed her hair back over her shoulders and then stood again with her arms in front of her - I assumed they were crossed over her chest like how they always were when she was angry.

She sighed. "We... we left school early and went to Paige's," she paused. "I know, I know... "

I could feel the disapproval in the air and from the sound of Emily's tone.

"But we went. We were getting things ready for her to come... and we...we ended up making out on her bed. I swear it wasn't going any further than that... but her dad caught us. I left and just went outside, and Paige and her dad started talking. I could hear him yelling at her even though I was outside by her Jeep. She bolted out of the door and then we went for a run in the woods and that's when she told me that she has until next Friday to be out."

"Where is she now?" her mom asked.

"I...I thought she was right..." she turned around and saw me standing awkwardly in the foyer. She smiled at me sweetly and turned back to her mom. "She's by the front door."

I heard the sound of shoes hitting the floor and braced myself for what could possibly happen. I knew she was about to scold me for leaving school early, but after everything that had happened today, that was the last thing that I truly cared about. Before my brain could wrap around a second though, I felt tight arms engulf me and truly hold me. It wasn't like the embraces that Emily would give me… This…this was a 'mom hug'. I wrapped my arms around the petite woman and began sobbing once again into her shoulder. She soothed me and told me that it was going to be okay. I tried to choke words out but I couldn't find the strength. I felt my knees give way and my body tumbled involuntarily to the floor – but Pam never released her hold on me. I cried into her – my body shaking with pent up emotion.

Several minutes passed before I felt myself tire from the continuous sobs. Pam eased her hold on me and looked me straight in the eye.

"Paige, listen to me."

I looked at her with tears still fresh in my eyes. She had the kindest smile and such warmth in her tone.

"You're not a bad person. You're not doing something wrong. You are not wrong. I had to learn that with Emily. I wasn't always there for her, but I here now. But do you understand? You are not wrong."

I nodded. "Why does he hate me?"

"Oh honey… he doesn't hate you. He was probably in shock and doesn't know how to handle it. Give it time."

I nodded again. "I'm going to…I'm going to try to get a motel or…or find a place to stay next week."

"Like hell you are. You're going to stay right here. I'm going to work on getting the guest room set. You and Emily can share a room for the week but I am going to have you two sleep separately. You both need your space." She paused before continuing. "Paige…"

"Yes ma'am?"

"It will be okay."

I nodded.

"Em?" she turned to her daughter.

I looked up at Emily and saw that she was standing in her dad's arms crying. Her eyes mirrored mine and I hated seeing that look on her face. She was beautiful – even when she cried but I knew she was crying because of me and I couldn't handle that. I watched as Emily turned in her dad's arms to face her mother.

"Why don't you take Paige upstairs and you both calm down a bit. I'm going to finish preparing supper and I want all of us to eat."

"I'm…I'm sorry…that's really nice…but…" I stumbled.

"Paige, you need to eat. I know you aren't hungry but you have to eat."

I nodded as Emily walked towards me and extended her hand to me. I gripped her palm and as I stood up she pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my cheek with lingering lips. Our bodies fit perfectly together- like two puzzle pieces. We always had – ever since we had met. Even in detrimental times, she had the ability to calm me like no other. She let up on the hug and took my hand and led me to her room.

I could hear her parents talk in the background as we ascended the stairs but I didn't pay much mind to what words were being said. Tones were still soft and complacent; therefore I didn't feel the need to engage my ears any further. Upon reaching Emily's room, I felt myself breathe a little more. I didn't realize that I had been holding in a breath for hours, but I guess I had…or it seemed so. Just knowing that I didn't have to figure out a way to survive was enough to let me convert oxygen into carbon dioxide, but Pam's words more-so made gave me the ability to actually breathe…. _You are not wrong._


	21. Chapter 21

**HEY EVERYONE**

**i know i know... "OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"**

**I promise I'm alive. LOTS and LOTS has been going on - some of you know about it, others don't, but i PROMISE it's all good. I know It's been like a month since I've updated and I'm sorry! Just been dealing with a lot...BUT this chapter ALONE is over 5800 words. So I hope ya'll forgive me. **

**I'm not going to reply to everyone because i've had SO many amazing reviews lately. But i want each of you to know I've read every single one and keep them coming. Hopefully i will be updating more regularly...just this chapter was a bit of a doozy to write! **

**In addition - thanks everyone for your concerns! I'm great...I promise. **

**Every single reader... I hope you review this one. If you review NO OTHER POST...please review this one. Let me know you missed me!**

**Love you all!**

* * *

The house was eerily quiet as I stepped through the front doorway. It has only been just over 24 hours but I still felt the coldness and anger residing in the air. There was a new scrape on the wooden floor by the front room and on the side table, laid last year's school picture without a frame. My father must have gotten so angry that he took the picture off of the wall and threw it onto the ground. I looked down at my feet and saw small glimmers - I assumed it was the tiniest of glass pieces that hadn't been cleaned up.

"Watch your step," I warned Emily pointing to the shimmers.

I took a deep breath and continued through the hall. I was careful to make sure that the boxes I was carrying in my arms did not disturb anything on the walls - I wanted to get in and get out as fast as possible. The silence behind me told me that Emily was trying to do the same. I readjusted the boxes in my hold and ascended the stairs cautiously before moving to my room and setting the boxes haphazardly on the floor.

It was just how it looked it two days ago. The books on my desk were still in place… a sock was still lying next to the hamper after it hadn't quite made it into the basket… the comforter was still wrinkled from Emily and I had kissed before my father…. I felt the tears surface at the corner of my eyes and I walked over to the practically unmade bed and sat down on the edge before resting my head in my hands. My fingers became wet with tears almost instantly and in just moments, I felt an additional weight come onto the bed beside me. One soft hand touched my knee as the opposite arm wrapped around my back and held me tightly. She pulled me towards her gently; I rested my head against her shoulder and as I cried, I could feel her heart breaking.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she stared at the carpet below her feet after several moments had passed.

I lifted my head and turned towards her dumbfounded. "What are you sorry for?"

"It's all my fault," she trailed off.

I sat up straight.

"What? What is all your fault?"

"This… this whole mess. If it wasn't for me you'd still have a home and parents around and…"

Before she could finish her sentence I kissed her still speaking lips. I just simply pressed my lips against hers – but it effectively stopped her from talking. I pulled away and looked deep into her eyes.

"Emily, listen to me…" I pleaded. "You saved me. You didn't cause this… If you weren't around, I'd still be living a lie. I'd still be someone I hated. You stopped that. You stopped me from hating myself…stopped me from hurting myself…from lying to myself. You….you are the most amazing and most important person in my life. Don't you dare think for one minute that this is your fault…" I trailed off looking deeply into her glossy tear-filled eyes.

She locked her dark brown eyes with mine and we stayed staring into each other for eternity. She hesitantly leaned in closer to me – her lips leading her. I closed the gap and felt her lips soft against mine. The kiss was slow and gentle – full of comfort and reassurance. It spoke everything we needed to say and fused our hearts with an understanding and overwhelming feeling of love and complete devotion.

The kiss broke apart after several moments and our foreheads rested against one other's. I could feel her breath against my lips still – hot and humid. My heart was racing as we sat there silently. She trailed her fingers across my leg and found my hand resting on my lap. Her long, slender fingers toyed with my own briefly before interlocking with them. Her hands felt so different from mine. My hands felt weak in comparison – hers were strong and sturdy and I admired them. Those were the hands that brought me to life…the same hands that had fought countless battles and won…the same hands that comforted me and held me up even now when my world was breaking.

"I love you….more than anything," she admitted – her voice low and raw. I could feel the sincerity wrapped in each word that she had spoken.

I smiled at the admission before kissing her lightly on the lips. "I love you too, Emily."

I sat up straighter and look at the room. "There is so much here I don't even know where to begin…" I trailed off.

Emily smiled weakly at me as she watched me wipe the last of the tears from my eyes. She stood up from the bed and grabbed one of the boxes and began unfolding it and taping it – so that it would hold whatever we had needed. Over the course of Saturday, I had texted my mom and asked her if my father was serious and she said that it was probably best that I find somewhere to live. My father was extremely pissed off and it may not be forever, but it was definitely not a good idea for me to expect to be able to just 'come home' after they had gotten back. As a result, Emily's father took it upon himself to go to a couple department stores and grab free boxes from their daily shipments and told Emily and I to pack up whatever we can - bring what I absolutely wanted with me and the other stuff they would put in the basement, the attic or a storage unit for me until everyone knew what was going on for certain.

"So let's try to start with the things you absolutely want to keep. Mom is in the processes of clearing out the guest room for you – it's a bit smaller than this but you could probably fit a good bit in there."

"I don't want to burden your parent's Emily. I don't want to take over. "

"Paige…if you are going to have a room, it's not really 'taking over'…its making the room your room," she argued as she began taking down the posters and pictures on my wall. I watched as she carefully took down each poster and rolled it neatly. Everything she did was beyond graceful…beyond intriguing… beyond sexy.

We worked for several hours on the room – packing and repacking…deciding what I was going to take and what was going to stay. At one point – due to my fighting with her – Emily even called her mom and asked what was defined by "Things I wanted to bring". I didn't want to put any more on her parents than I already was but her mom insisted that my room there should and would be just like any other room I have had…mine. Emily ended up forcing me to take nearly 98% of the stuff that was in my room to her house and only the boxes that I had already had put away – the boxes in the attic and some boxes tucked away in my closet – were allowed to go into storage.

After packing the boxes, we carried them down the stairs and to the front room and along the wall of the hallway. Four trips later and we finally crashed back onto my bed. Everything but the comforter and my pillows were packed and ready to go. Emily looked at her phone that was resting on my bare wooden nightstand.

"It's nearly 7:30," she observed as she exhaled in exhaustion.

We had worked all through the afternoon with just a few light snacks here and there – Emily had insisted that I try chocolate covered peeps that she had saved from Halloween. I was fairly skeptical about eating a marshmallow that had been in a box for about a month, but regardless it was fairly tasty. When I realized that it was starting to get dark, I had ordered pizza from our favorite delivery spot and they had said that it would be at the house around 7:30-7:45pm. I knew Emily had to be starving – as healthy as she could eat, I knew after working out and doing strenuous things, she could work up an appetite.

As if the delivery guy had read my mind, a loud knocking sound filled the house. I quickly pecked Emily's lips and rushed to the door to pay for the pizza. As I walked back towards the stairs, Emily was walking down and pointed at me to go into the kitchen. I set the large box down before grabbing two paper plates from the pantry and two bottles of water from the fridge. I shut the fridge door and turned around only to be trapped against the cold steel. Emily pressed against me firmly before grabbing the bottles of water - one in each hand – and turning her upper half just enough to where she could set each bottle onto the island in the center of the kitchen. She untwisted her form to face me and brought her lips close to mine before smiling slyly at me. Her fingers took hold of my wrists before placing them above my head. My eyes widened dramatically. She had been playful, but not quite this playful before. She kissed me slowly, letting each kiss linger before recapturing them again. Just as the kiss began to grow in hunger, she pulled away and let go of my hands before walking to the other side of the island and grabbing the plates and waters. Even as she was headed towards the living room, I was frozen in place. The cold steel warmed significantly against my back during the time she was pressed against me. I took a deep breath and pushed off of the refrigerator before grabbing the box of pizza and following her into the living room.

I'm going to go outside and call my mom for a minute..." She smiled over at me as we finished cleaning up the living room.

We had spent the past two hours watching a made-for-TV movie while eating dinner. Even when chaos had surrounded me, she always made things seem so simple. I grabbed the empty box and the remainder of the trash and took it into the kitchen before ascending the stairs to my room. After I plugged my phone into the charger, I sat on the lonely bed in the empty room and looked around at the bare walls and bare carpeting. Uncontrollable tears began escaping my eyes and even though I was able to breathe normally, they still stained my cheeks. I was going to miss having a place of my own. I knew Emily's parents were doing the best they could – and I was beyond grateful for every little thing they did…but…I had just moved to this room. I had so many memories tied up in it already – some of the best memories I'd ever had.

I heard her come into room and I instinctively looked up at her. When she saw my glossy eyes, she ran to me and held my head to her stomach – like she was protecting me. I smiled at her natural instincts and guided her to sit beside me.

"I'm okay… I promise," I assured her.

Her dark eyes searched mine for many moments before her face finally relaxed. She leaned towards me and wiped the tears from my cheeks before slowly and gently capturing my lips with hers. Her movements were slow and tentative...almost hesitant. I drew my hand up to her face and cupped her cheek - encouraging her to continue. She took my lips one by one between hers leaving me nearly breathless. A smile formed on her lips has she heard the struggle of air trying to seep into my lungs. Her fingers combed through my hair until they finally rested on the back of my neck. She drew me into her - causing me to open my mouth and her to take advantage by sliding her languid tongue into my cave. My body tightened slightly at her movements but as she drank me in, all thoughts of the past weekend flew from my brain.

She curled her tongue under mine and gently encouraged me to enter her mouth. Once my tongue barely passed her lips, she captured it intently and sucked on it lightly causing a moan to escape my parted lips. I pushed my body into her forcing her back on the bed and I let myself hover over her perfect form. The kiss deepened and our tongues battled for dominion. I could feel light moans escape the darker girl's lips. My thigh found its way between hers and we settled into a familiar rhythm of kissing and rocking our bodies together. My hands tangled in her hair as my tongue dominated over hers. The tips of her fingers dug into my shoulders as she held me close and pulled me into her.

This is where everything started...right in my room. All those months ago I realized I had fallen for her right here. I had shed so many tears and smiled so many smiles... So many kisses had begun in the comfort of these four walls... our first kiss had happened right on this bed and I couldn't believe that this was going to be our possible last. I wanted us to share so much more in this bed. It was the place that I had dreamt of for so long. Emily and I spending night after night cuddling and kissing and... being together while my parents were away. What all would I want to do with her in this bed? Have sex? Make love? Fuck until we couldn't see clearly?

As my mind raced with possibilities, Emily flipped us over and straddled my hips before whisking her shirt off of her perfectly shaped body. Our lips melded once again and I was met with fire as her almost naked upper half collided with my thin shirt. My hands immediately flew to her bare skin and held her to me. As she continued to duel playfully with my tongue - guiding it out of her mouth and then back in again - my hands lowered to her grinding hips. I automatically responded to her touch and her movements and found myself rocking in a sensual motion with her. She grabbed my wrists and removed my hands from her thighs as she placed them above my head fiercely.

The force at which she held my hands down and kissed me sparked a flame of desire in my core. I struggled against her hold until I nearly bucked her off. She broke the kiss and simply resumed her stance across my hips as she looked down at me with a smirk. I knew that look. That was the look that she was going to win regardless of what I did to fight it. I smiled nervously up at her and was only met with a more beaming version of her smirk. The grip on my wrists tightened and she leaned down and crashed her lip against mine heatedly. She pressed her hands into my wrists firmly one last time and then scratched her nails down my arms and my sides as she battled - and won - for dominance over my own tongue. When she reached the hem of my shirt, she slowly inched it upwards until it bunches around my breasts. She broke the hungry kiss and sat up - urging me to lift my body from the mattress. I complied and she let her bare palm run against my skin as she divested me of the cumbersome material.

My arms drifted downwards slowly and my fingers tangled themselves into her dark silky mane. I crashed our lips together once again - our bodies returning to their familiar rhythm. As the kiss grew in hunger, I tried to use Emily's clouded mind to my advantage and I attempted to flip her over but I was only met with a growl and her pushing me down onto the bed and holding me in place playfully. The kiss broke as I was pushed backwards and when she hovered over me, I could not take my eyes off of hers. Her deep and dark melted eyes consumed all of me. This was where it all began...her and me. I searched her eyes for any signs of doubt or reluctance and yet the only emotion I saw peering back at me was love.

I took a deep breath and as I pushed her hair out of her face, I whispered, "Make love to me, Emily..."

She looked down at me wide-eyed - almost as if she didn't fully hear what I had said. I didn't see any doubt or confliction in her eyes so I simply leaned up and captured her lips quickly before whispering against them again.

"Emily... make love to me...where it all began"

She gave me a half smile and pushed the hair out of my face. "Are you sure?"

I nodded never breaking eye contact. "Positive."

Her half-smile turned into a full blown grin and she quickly leaned down and kissed me sweetly on the lips. Our lips danced slowly but rhythmically - and it intoxicated me completely. Our arms wrapped around each other and our bodies maneuvered so that we could be as close as possible. The skin of her stomach felt like silk against mine-soft and smooth. But, as sweet kisses transformed into long, slow ones fueled by hunger, our bodies burst into flames and the soft skin became ablaze. There were no boundaries this time...we didn't have to hold any amount of emotion back and thus the simple movement of lips ignited an energy like never before.

She shifted again - settling between my thighs and gently guiding my legs around her waist. I could feel her heat through both sets of fabric and in contrast to the warmth, a shiver jolted through my spine. She broke away from my lips and settled her mouth onto the flesh of my neck as her hands found mine - which were settled in her hair - and moved them to the clasp of her bra. Her hands settled at my own bra clasp in the center of my back and just as she began unhooking the first metal clasp, she trailed her lips to my ear and whispered.

"Follow me."

My eyes clamped shut as my heart began to race uncontrollably. Hesitantly I followed Emily's lead. I unhooked one clasp slowly and when I felt her fingers move downwards, I began unhooking the second clasp. She let go of the ends of the bra and trailed her fingers up my shoulders and down my arms - dragging the shoulder straps along with her. Like before, I mirrored her exactly movements and by the time both of our bras were simply resting against our tightly -pressed chests, she lifted herself up slightly and tossed both bras off to the floor.

She resumed her position quickly - our naked breasts pressing firmly against each other. Her nipples were hard as diamonds and they felt so exotic moving against my skin as she rocked back and forth - starting a grinding motion into my pelvis. Her hands came up between us and cupped my breasts gently. She tested the weight in each hand before moving her fingers around and lightly brushing over my nipples with the pads of her respective thumbs.

A liquid heat flowed through me and settled between the apex of my thighs, but I forced myself to stay coherent as I brought my own hands to her firm breasts - testing the weight and running the pads of my thumbs over her nipples. Her head fell into my shoulder - pushing her breasts into my palms as the loose hair of her low pony tail sprayed around us. She pinched my nipples and rolled them between her fingers - my hips pushing off the bed and meeting hers mid-air.

She lifted her head and crashed her lips into mine before gently releasing my breasts and trailing her hands down between our stomachs and to the top of my sweats. She quickly broke the kiss and sat back on her legs - letting her hands slowly maneuver the thick yet soft material off of my hips. I lifted my hips off the mattress slightly to aid her in her determined movements. After she had tossed my sweat pants to the floor, she rose back up and kissed me fiercely.

I used all my strength to roll us so that I hovered over her. I positioned myself between her thighs the way she had mine - continuing the heated kiss. I pressed my pelvis in to her and earned a small moan from her lips as she ripped her mouth from mine and tossed her head to the side. I smiled at her reaction and let up the pressure. Her eyes met mine and I could taste the desperation in the air. Sitting back on my knees, my trembling hands grazed the waist band of her Lady Shark navy blue pants. I looked down at my hands and then back up at her nervously. She placed her hands over mine and began pushing the fabric and my hands downwards. Her hot skin set the tips of my fingers on fire as they grazed her hips and bare legs.

After taking a deep breath, I finished pulling off her sweats only to be met by her hands tugging at my wrists and pulling me down against her. She shifted her knee and forced me to lift up one leg so that our legs alternated and we were each pressed against one another's thighs. The heat of her core burned my skin as I leaned down to kiss her. My hands captured her wrists and I placed them over her head as I slid my tongue into her mouth urgently. The way my weight shifted as I pinned her hands caused my thigh to press up against her. She gasped into the kiss and suddenly bent her knee so that her thigh made contact with my own center.

My hands tightened around her wrists and I broke the kiss as I gasped loudly - my head falling to her shoulder. She used her strength and pushed against my wrists - effectively freeing herself. She placed both of her hands along my hips and guiding their instinctive rocking motion along her thigh - the cumbersome material not much of a barrier between us. Each of my back and forth movements along her thigh caused my own leg to press into her rhythmically. I could hear her breathing change to match mine - forced and ragged. The wetness of the flimsy material seeped onto my skin and the move we rocked with each other, the more the fabric shifted to the side until I was able to feel a portion of her naked skin rock against me.

"Fuck..." I murmured into her shoulder as she steadily guided my hips.

I felt her fingers hook into the material of my boy shorts and begin to push them down. Between rocks I lifted my hips up and let her divest me of them. When her thigh made complete contact with my naked center I cried out into her neck. She repositioned her hands on my hips and once again guided me to rock on her strong thigh. I could feel myself moving more easily on her skin - my wetness coating it generously. My breath sped up drastically and I could feel a pressure build within me. I stiffened and grabbed onto her shoulders - my fingertips digging into her.

She quickly flipped us back over - pinning my hands above my head and completely removing her leg from my center. My face was beyond flushed my breathing uneven. My entire body moved with the ragged inhales.

"That was close…" she whispered as she took both of my wrists into one hand and with her free one, she slowly pushed her hipsters off of her body.

She let her lower body fall down on mine – melding our skin together. My hips instinctively rose up off the mattress to meet hers but her weight effectively pinned them back down. She looked deeply into my eyes and smiled widely at me. Her irises were much darker than I had ever seen them – they were lustful yet loving. I lifted my head and captured her lips with mine. The kiss was slow and greedy – tongues slowly dancing with one another…the battle long forgot. Our bodies rhythmically moved together as limbs intertwined. The liquid heat pouring from her center coated the creamy skin of my pelvic bone as we rocked.

She repositioned her hand on my wrists - letting one free as she trailed her free fingers around the skin of my inner hips. She broke the kiss and smiled at me as I let my own arm come between us - trailing my own lines across her skin. Our breaths were in sync - slow but shallow. She raised her lower body off of mine slightly and wiggled her dominant arm lower so that her hand was resting on my shaved mound. My breath quickened instantly - the shallow breaths making my entire body tremble at her touch.

"Follow me," she instructed once again before kissing my lips briefly but firmly.

I squeezed my hand between us and rested it on her mound. The trembles turned to shakes as I felt her silky smooth skin under my fingertips. The muscles in my stomach tightened and I could feel my inner walls constrict as my breath was held captive in my lungs. Her lips descended down upon mine as she trailed her fingers lower and began grazing the outside of my lips. I inhaled sharply and tried to break the kiss but Emily was insistent. She kept the kiss a simple lip-on-lip dance...slow and rhythmic. My shaking fingers moved to her outer lips and my body jolted with electricity as I felt the softest of velvet coated with honey. Air expelled from my lungs and into the ether between a small break of our dance - my heart so loud I could audibly hear the irregular beat.

She curled her fingers slightly and parted my sticky -wet lips before straightening out and gliding them through the heated liquid. I moaned into the kiss loudly and took her lip between my teeth for a brief moment as her fingertips barely grazed my entrance I mustered all my strength and courage and parted the wet velvet as my trembling fingers slid into the pool of thinned honey. Emily's hips pressed down into me in response as she whimpered into the kiss. She let go of my wrist - which had still been pinned above my head - and cupped my face with her hand - tilting my chip upwards and gliding her tongue into my mouth. I could feel her trying to keep the kiss rhythmic, but the small moans that I swallowed as my fingers continues to glide back and forth - mirroring her motions - told me that she was starting to lose control.

Her fingers stopped their motions after a few moments and rested ever so lightly on my clit. My hips bucked involuntarily as soft contact was made with the erect pulsating nub. She began to slowly trace circles around the pearl and my free hand immediately flew to her back - my fingertips digging into the dark, hot, sweaty flesh. The kiss broke as moans and gasps overtook me - but her eyes never left mine. The silence in her eyes told me the love she had for me. I brought my own fingers up and began circling her erect pearl slowly. The heat...the pulsation...the simple of act touching Emily made my entire though process shut down.

Our hips rocked together desperately as light pants and throaty moans escaped our lips. Emily's fingers fled my clit to circle my entrance and before I could process what she was doing - to make my fingers follow - she inserted two of her fingers into me slowly as she started kissing my neck. A loud gasp filled the room and I instantly felt my inner walls constrict around the intrusion. She smiled into my neck but I barely noticed. I became dizzy and disoriented as I felt her pull out of me slightly and re-enter me.

I couldn't breathe. Loud moans and a scream escaped my lips but I couldn't inhale any oxygen. My heart resumed a loud erratic rhythm after it stopped briefly but suddenly when she initially entered me. My hips rose off the ground as my body stiffened once again. My head throbbed with the blood pounding out of my heart and through my veins. A deep pressure - that had originally begun building since we started kissing - intensified more and more until it was the sole thing I could focus on. Emily was everywhere - she was inside of me, kissing me, on top of me and as I felt her fingers enter me for a third time, the pressure in my lower belly burst throughout my veins as I cried out into the shoulder that was covering my face. My hands gripped for skin and security as flashes of hot light danced behind me eyelids. I clawed at her flawless form as the fire overtook me again and again - Emily was my only anchor to the original plane.

As one final wave shook my body, I collapsed back into the softness of the cloud below me. Emily lifted off of my neck and I could feel her watching me but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes and look directly at her. I felt a peck against my lips and then her lean over me - her lips pressing against my ear.

"I haven't even begun," she breathed before licking my ear then taking the lobe between her teeth gently.

My breath caught in my throat and I trembled in anticipation as she shifted her weight downwards - kissing my flushed skin as she went. My hand involuntarily was removed from her folds but as I noticed that the wet haven was pulled away from me, I felt her soft tongue circle my right nipple and then her lips over take it while one of her hands came up to grab the other breast roughly. My back arched in response as she took the nipple between her lips and began sucking lightly. Loud, unreserved moans escaped my lips as my body writhed underneath of her. She switched breasts and I once again arched into her - my hips digging into the mattress below me.

She took one last such of my left nipple before tailing her lips down my stomach. She licked across the vast plane and began biting at my ribs. As I groaned loudly in frustration, she took one hand and brought it to my center - her fingers trailing up and down my drenched slit. I rocked my hips against her fingers but could not find the friction I was so desperately craving. She moved downwards and kissed my lower belly before taking her free hand and guiding my knees to bend - allowing my legs to fall open around her. She kissed my pelvic bone and began slowly making her way towards where her right hand was located.

I trembled in anticipation. My entire body was buzzing from the prospect of what was going to happen. I had asked for this... I had asked for her to make love to me and I wasn't sure what I was expecting but this was definitely not on my "what I thought was going to happen" list. I thought I perhaps would have taken over and taken control but Emily apparently decided that "make love to me" actually meant "make love to ME" not "together" not "me to you". She kissed down my bikini line and all air ceased to my lungs. My hips squirmed beneath of her as she continued to kiss and such on various areas of my virgin flesh.

She lifted her head and caught my eyes before smiling up at me. I watched as she extended her tongue and slowly ran it over my puffy outer lips - gathering an abundance of juice and taking the accumulation into her mouth. I moaned loudly and my hips rose off the bed trying to seek her wondrous tongue for a second time. She used her free hand and pushed my hips back down before sliding her fingers that had been exploring me into my core. I screamed loudly and my hands instantly gripped at the sheet beneath me - my head thrashing from side to side.

I didn't have to look at her to know she was smiling. Emily loved when I would respond. I felt her other hand spread my lips before her strong muscle began exploring my folds while her fingers continued to gently move in and out of me. My hips rocked with her motions as her tongue came up to my clit and began tracing around it. I could only assuming what she was doing because the intensity of having her mouth on me was beyond euphoric and it was difficult for me to even breathe. I felt her wrap her lips around my clit and suck on it hard. My hands flew to her hair and my fingers tangled into her locks roughly.

The deep and profound pressure arose once again as my hips continued to rock into her. Blood rushed from my heart and my head straight down between my thighs. My inner walls clenched her fingers tightly as a guttural moan escaped my shameless lips. The pressure continued to build and well surpassed the pressure that I had initially experienced. White light began sparking behind my eye lids once again and I felt a sudden change. Emily had replaced her fingers with her tongue and vice versa. I felt the firm strokes of her fingers quickly work against my clit as her strong muscle entered me as deep as it could go - encouraging my juices to spill out into her mouth.

I cried out - my hands flying to her shoulders and my nails cutting into her taut skin. She moved her tongue in and out of me as the pressure build up exploded and I no longer resided on the conscious plane. My body stiffened and continued to burst - filling Emily's appetite again and again as her fingers would not let up. Suddenly, oxygen refused to rush into my lungs as I tried to inhale as one last strong wave crashed over me. The hot and brilliant white lights ceased and complete darkness took over as I drifted back down into my body.


End file.
